Terence Fletcher quotes

View Quote We've got a squeaker today, people. Neiman. 19 years old. Isn't he cute?

View Quote Parker, that is not your boyfriend's dick. Do not come early.

View Quote [playing an audio clip of a trumpet solo for the band] Six years ago, I came across a kid in a practice room working on his scales. He was early second year and he'd started at Shaffer with a lot of hope. Like all you guys. But the truth was, he barely squeaked in to begin with, and, uh... he was really struggling. The faculty were all telling him, "Maybe this isn't for you." But they didn't see what I saw. This scared, skinny kid, cursing himself because he couldn't get his scales right. I saw a drive in him. And I put him in Studio Band. And when he graduated, Marsalis made him third trumpet at Lincoln Center. A year later, he was first. And that's who you're listening to now. His name was Sean Casey. I found out this morning that... Sean... died yesterday... in a car accident. And, uh, I just... I wanted you guys to know he was a beautiful player. I just thought you should know.

View Quote And here comes Mister Gay Pride of the Upper West Side himself. Unfortunately, this is not a Bette Midler concert, we will not be serving Cosmopolitans and Baked Alaska, so just play faster than you give ****ing hand jobs, will you please? One, two, one, two. [Carl starts drumming, Fletcher stops him] Not even ****ing close. [to Ryan] Let's go, with the Irish Mick-****ing-Paddy cracker now. You know, you actually do look quite a bit like a leprechaun. I think I'm gonna start calling you Flannery.

View Quote [after Andrew stops drumming] Is that really the fastest you can play, you worthless Hymie ****? No wonder mommy ran out on you. Get off the ****ing kit.

View Quote Were you rushing or were you dragging?

View Quote If you deliberately sabotage my band, I will **** you like a pig.

View Quote Oh, my dear God. Are you one of those single tear people?

View Quote You are a worthless pansy-ass who is now weeping and slobbering all over my drum set like a nine year old girl!

View Quote Either you're deliberately out of tune and sabotaging my band, or you don't know you're out of tune, which, I'm afraid, is even worse.

View Quote For the record, Metz wasn't out of tune. You were, Erickson, but he didn't know and that's bad enough.

View Quote Neiman, you earned the part. Alternates, will you clean the blood off my drum set?

View Quote [Repeated line] Not quite my tempo.

View Quote The folder is your ****ing responsibility, Tanner. Why would you give it to Neiman? Right? You give a calculator to a ****ing **** he's gonna try to turn on a TV with it. Now get your sticks and get your ass on stage.

View Quote Listen up, ****s! Hurry the **** up. Get your music. "Irene" only. Set one. Rhythm section out first. Tanner, the kit is a tonal ****ing catastrophe. Get it in tune, all right? Rhythm and soloists, bar 45. We're gonna pick up the tempo there, all right? Bar 106, brass, do not forget we sharp that ninth. Everybody remember, Lincoln Center and its ilk use these competitions to decide who they are interested in and who they are not. And I am not gonna have my reputation in that department tarnished by a bunch of ****ing limp-dick, sour-note, flatter-than-their-girlfriends, flexible-tempo dipshits. Got it? One more thing. Eugene, give me that. [Eugene hands Fletcher his music folder] If I ever see another one of these lying around, I swear to ****ing God, I will stop being so polite. [to a stagehand who just walked in] Get the **** out of my sight before I demolish you. [to band] Stage right, in order, now. [to stagehand] I can still ****ing see you, Mini-Me!

View Quote You think I'm ****ing stupid? I know it was you.

View Quote Now, are you a rusher, or are you a dragger, or are you gonna be ON MY ****ING TIME?!