Uncle Monty quotes

View Quote I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. The carrot has mystery. Flowers are essentially tarts. Prostitutes for the bees. There is, you'll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm young carrot.

View Quote It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when he awakens and quite reasonably says to himself: [He puts his hand on his heart] "I will never play The Dane." When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. As a youth I used to weep in butchers' shops.

View Quote Sherry!? Oh no, no, no, no. I'll fall straight into his trap. He's so mauve. We don't know what he's planning. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. I think you've been punished enough. I think we better release you from the legumes and transfer your talents to the meat.

View Quote I often wonder where Norman is now. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. A cat, rain, Vim under the sink, and both bars on. But old now, there is no true beauty without decay.

View Quote How right you are, how right you are. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. Come on, lads, the sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall, and we shall be forced to camp.

View Quote I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary!