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Sam Craig: [in front of the airport] Could I drop you someplace, Miss Whitcomb?
Ellen Whitcomb: You can drop that "Miss Whitcomb."
Ellen Whitcomb: You can drop that "Miss Whitcomb."
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Sam Craig: [Sam and Tess are both mildly drunk. Tess's head is resting on Sam] There's something I have to get off my chest...
Tess Harding: [starts to get up] I'm too heavy...
Sam Craig: [smiles] No. I love you.
Tess Harding: You do?
Sam Craig: Positive.
Tess Harding: [sighs] That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
Sam Craig: Even when you're brilliant.
Tess Harding: [starts to get up] I'm too heavy...
Sam Craig: [smiles] No. I love you.
Tess Harding: You do?
Sam Craig: Positive.
Tess Harding: [sighs] That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
Sam Craig: Even when you're brilliant.
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Sam Craig: I don't want to be married to Tess Harding any more than I want you to be just Mrs. Sam Craig. Why can't you be Tess Harding Craig?
Tess Harding: I think it's a wonderful name.
Tess Harding: I think it's a wonderful name.
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Tess Harding: [attending a baseball game] Are all these people unemployed?
Sam Craig: No, they're all attending their grandmother's funeral.
Sam Craig: No, they're all attending their grandmother's funeral.
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Tess Harding: [attending a baseball game] You mean our paper sends two people to cover the game?
Phil Whittaker: No, I cover the game, he just kicks it around in his column.
Tess Harding: We've got only one man at Vichy...
Sam Craig: Vichy, are they still in the league?
Phil Whittaker: No, I cover the game, he just kicks it around in his column.
Tess Harding: We've got only one man at Vichy...
Sam Craig: Vichy, are they still in the league?
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Tess Harding: I'm going to be you wife. You don't think that I can do the little ordinary things that any idiot can do, do you?
Sam Craig: No.
Tess Harding: Why not?
Sam Craig: Because you're incapable of doing them, that's why. You can't expect Seabiscuit to stop in the middle of the stretch, drink a glass of water, and count to seven at the same time, you know. That takes training.
Tess Harding: Well, I'm not Seabiscuit.
Sam Craig: No.
Tess Harding: Why not?
Sam Craig: Because you're incapable of doing them, that's why. You can't expect Seabiscuit to stop in the middle of the stretch, drink a glass of water, and count to seven at the same time, you know. That takes training.
Tess Harding: Well, I'm not Seabiscuit.
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Tess Harding: Sam, why can't we sit down like adults and patch this thing up?
Sam Craig: I'm afraid that might become a habit. Then we'd wind up with a patchwork quilt for a marriage.
Sam Craig: I'm afraid that might become a habit. Then we'd wind up with a patchwork quilt for a marriage.
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[on his and Tess's very short wedding ceremony] No one will ever believe we were married sober.
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Success is no fun unless you share it with someone.
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Women should be kept illiterate and clean, like canaries.