Mean Girls quotes

View Quote Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
Regina: No one understands me...
Gretchen: I understand you!

View Quote Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

View Quote Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch.
Regina: Still true.
Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.
Regina: Still half-true.

View Quote Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane.
Jessica Lopez: - and he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.

View Quote Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell "orange".
[Cady snickers]
Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

View Quote Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damian: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.

View Quote Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.
[Janis sprays deodorant at Cady]

View Quote Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.

View Quote Jason: Did you see a nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!
Student: Yeah, that's true dude...

View Quote Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...

View Quote Jason: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr! And so did Sun Jin Dinh!
Trang Pak: [in Vietnamese] You little slut!
Sun Jin Dinh: You're the slut!
[both start swearing in Vietnamese]

View Quote Joan the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
[class applauds]
Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Wieners.
[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.
[class applauds]
Regina: [Confused] What is happening to the world?
Janis: Damien!
[Janis shoves Damien]
Damian: I couldn't help myself!
Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!
[class applauds]
Cady: Damien? You put me in there too? That's not part of the plan!
Damian: I didn't put you in there...
Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?

View Quote Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew...

View Quote Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

View Quote Karen: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. You could try Sears.