The 10th Kingdom quotes

View Quote Blabberwort: This isn't part of the Nine Kingdoms! This is a magical place! Look at all those lights!
Bluebell: They must go through a ton of candles!
Blabberwort: Maybe we should claim this kingdom!
Burly: That's a sensational idea! Let's grab it before someone else does!
Blabberwort: [drawing a dagger] I hereby claim this land and all its inhabitants in the name of the Troll nation. Henceforth, it shall be known as- what should we call it?
[the three trolls think for a moment]
Bluebell: The 10th Kingdom!
Blabberwort, Bluebell, Burly: The 10th Kingdom!

View Quote Blue Bell: I think we might be in her pocket.
Burly: What?
Blue Bell: I think she might have shrunk us, and put us in a matchbox in her pocket.
Burly: That's ridiculous. You're falling to pieces! Get a grip on yourself! How can we be in a matchbox, you idiot?! Where are all the matches?
[In an elevator]

View Quote Burly: This could be a long torture session.
Virginia: I'll tell you anything you wanna know.
Burly: Torture first, then you talk. It's better that way. Rush a torture, ruin a torture.

View Quote Frog: One door leads to safety. One door leads to a horrible death. [Croaks] Ribbit. You may ask me one question. Ribbit. But I always lie.
Wolf: Oh, I learned this in school but I could NEVER remember it!
Virginia: If we ask him which one's the safe door...
Wolf: Well then he'll lie, and say it's the other one. Or is it the other way around?
Virginia: I don't know!
Tony: All right, all right. Wait, wait! I have a question! What is the point in having a door that has a horrible death behind it? Huh? [picks up frog]
Frog: What are you doing?!
Tony: What does that achieve?!
[Tony starts walking towards the doors, holding the frog]
Frog: Get your hands off me!
Tony: I mean, what is the purpose of your life? Just to be a pain?!
Frog: Don't touch me there, only my girlfriend touches me there!
[Tony throws the frog through one of the doors]
Frog: WHOA!
[Tony slams the door; it shakes violently as a large explosion occurs behind it]
Wolf: I guess it's the other one.

View Quote Prince Wendell: And now, for the greatest bravery imaginable. For courage in the face of relentless and terrible danger, I award my dear friends the highest medals in my Kingdom. Firstly, my temporary manservant, Antony. My people, look upon my friend. No longer is he spineless and wallowing in self pity.
Tony: Thanks.
Prince Wendell: No longer is he a balding useless coward who would rather run than fight.
Tony: I think they got the message.
Prince Wendell: No longer is he selfishly driven by envy and greed.
Tony: Wendell, the medal.
Prince Wendell: No. He is heroically transformed. What braver man could exist, than Antony the Valiant?

View Quote Tony: [Wolf offers to test Wendell's "prince sensing skills" before tossing a stick at his gold-imprisoned dog form] That's not funny!
Wolf: It can get funnier if we keep on doing it.

View Quote Virginia: Our mirror's smashed, what can we do? Where the hell are the other two?
Gustav the Magic Mirror: Mirror one shattered be, by an oaf called Anthony. Mirror two is on a bed with barnacles upon its head.
Anthony: A bed... with barnacles.
Virginia: The sea bed!
Dwarf Librarian: Yes. One fell into the Great Northern Sea. I think you can safely discount that one.
Gustav the Magic Mirror: What you seek has not been seen, since it was stolen by the Queen.
Anthony: The Queen! That's all we need.
Prince Wendell: Anthony, uh, any chance of a little biscuit?
Anthony: No, no, no, umm... Very helpful you have been, just tell us where we can find the Queen.
Gustav the Magic Mirror: Near she is, but not alone. in a place that's not her home. In a castle, out of sight,where once the Queen was called Snow White.
Anthony: That's Prince Wendell's castle.

View Quote ["Saturday Night Fever" plays on a boom box]
Blue Bell: They are called 'The Brothers Gibb.'
Blabberwort: And the song: it concerns a deadly fever that only strikes on Saturdays.

View Quote [talking about her mother] Well, I knew she'd come back because she had left all her clothes, you know. She loved her clothes more than anything in the world. And I kept going into her room and checking on them. And then after a few months you suddenly said that we had to get rid of them all, [beginning to cry] so, I remember folding them all very neatly, and I kept hoping that there was going to be, you know, a secret note or something that would be written for me, you know, just to me, telling me that she loved me, and explaining the secret magical reason why she had to go, you know? I mean, I still have this uncontrollable urge to just go up to people and say "My mother left me when I was seven!" You know, as if that would explain everything. [sobbing] And I miss her... And I hate her! And...and I miss her... And I feel like I was on a train and it crashed or something and no one came and rescued me. I always wanted my life to be a fairy story, you know, and now it is!

View Quote All right, Mr. I-don't-have-to-look-but-I-can-chop-wood, your name is Rumpelstiltskin.

View Quote Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realize I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it: "Breaking the Cycle", "Heal Yourself in 7 Days", "Stop Blaming Yourself, Please", and "Help for the Bed-Wetting Child", which I picked up by mistake. But I've got them all!

View Quote I admire your foresight. And had you arrived two hours earlier you would have found me... poisoning the apples! [Relish and his men collapse as the poison takes effect] Poison is something of a science with me, and I seem to have timed it just right. You know what they say, Relish? An army marches on its stomach.

View Quote I hope you like dogs, Wendell. You're going to spend the rest of your life as one.

View Quote I know your destiny. You'll ask a question, and die before it is answered.

View Quote I'm gonna die of long hair!