Alice in Wonderland (1951) quotes

View Quote Alice: [looking through the Doorknob's keyhole] There he is! I simply must get through.
Doorknob: Sorry. You're much too big. Simply impassable.
Alice: You mean "impossible".
Doorknob: No, impassable. Nothing's impossible.

View Quote Alice: [singing] Painting the roses red...
Card Painter, Card Painter, Card Painter: [singing] We're painting the roses red. Don't tell the Queen what you have seen or say that's what we said, but we're painting the roses red.
Alice: Yes, painting the roses red.
Card Painter: Not pink!
Card Painter: Not green!
Alice: Not aquamarine!
Card Painter, Card Painter, Card Painter: We're painting the roses red!

View Quote Alice: [the Caterpillar has called a very frustrated Alice back so he can finish the conversation] Well?
Caterpillar: Keep your temper.
Alice: Is that all?
Caterpillar: No. "Exaketededly", what is your problem?
Alice: Well, it's exak... exact... Well, it's precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...
Caterpillar: [suddenly angry] I am "exaketededly" three inches high, and it is a very good height, indeed!
Alice: But I'm not used to it. And you needn't... *shout*!

View Quote Alice: [to the card guards, after she grows to the height of the courtroom] Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing but a pack of cards.
King of Hearts: [reading through a rulebook] Rule Number 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!
Alice: I am not a mile high! And I am not leaving.
Queen of Hearts: [nervously] S-Sorry. Rule Number 42, you know.
Alice: Now as for you, Your Majesty. [unaware that she is shrinking quickly] Or Your Majesty, indeed. Why, you're not a queen. Why, you're just a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old ty- [finally realizes she has shrunk down] -tyrant.
Queen of Hearts: [laughs evilly] And what were you saying, my dear?
Cheshire Cat: [appears suddenly, to Alice's horror] Well, she simply said you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant! [disappears laughing]
Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH HER HEAD!!!!!!!!!

View Quote Alice: Curiouser and curiouser.

View Quote Alice: I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. [March Hare offers her a cup of tea] Thank you.
March Hare: [yanks her teacup away] Birthday? My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party!
Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Alice: Unbirthday? I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
March Hare: It's very simple. Now, thirty days has Septem -No. wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then you - [laughs] She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.

View Quote Alice: Oh, but that's nonsense. Flowers can't talk.
Rose: But of course we can talk, my dear.
Iris: If there's anyone worth talking to.
Daisy: Or about.

View Quote Alice: Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.
Caterpillar: It is not.
Alice: Well, it is to me.
Caterpillar: Why?
Alice: Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and...
Caterpillar: Recite.
Alice: Hm? Oh! Oh, yes, sir. Um, how doth the little bumblebee improve each...
Caterpillar: Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: How... [realizes nothing is coming out of his pipe and notices one of his set of hands grasping on the tube, clogging it; it slaps the hands to get it off the pipe; Alice giggles a bit, but the Caterpillar gives Alice a displeasing look] How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer... [shakes a bit] How cheer... [notices one set of feet teetering on the leaf he's sitting on; he grabs them and puts them back on the leaf; Alice giggles again] How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.
Alice: Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.
Caterpillar: I know. I have improoooved it.

View Quote Alice: Oh, dear. Now I--now I shall never get out. Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But who'd ever think to look for me here? [sigh] Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice. [sings] But I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I'd love the change. Should something strange begin? [begins to cry] Well... I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should've known there'd be a price to pay, someday... Someday... I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it! [cries harder] Will I ever learn to do the things I should? [continues crying]
Chorus: Will I ever learn / learn to do the things I should?
Cheshire Cat: [singing in disappear] Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm / And the mome raths outgrabe
Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat, it's you!
Cheshire Cat: Whom did you expect? The white rabbit, perchance?
Alice: Oh, no, no, no. I'I'm through with rabbits. I want to go home! [blows nose] But I can't find my way.
Cheshire Cat: Naturally. That's becuase you have no way. All ways here you see, are the QUEEN'S WAYS!
Alice: But I've never met any queen.
Cheshire Cat: You haven't? You ha-VEN'T? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you, simply mad! [chuckles, then rolls over and almost disappears] The mome raths outgrabe...
Alice: Please, please! H-How can I find her?
Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut.

View Quote Alice: Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat... and a watch!
Rabbit: Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
Alice: Now this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for? [running after him] Please, sir!
Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say "hello". Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

View Quote Alice: [after the Walrus and the Carpenter] That was a very sad story.
Tweedle Dee: Aye, but there's a moral to it.
Alice: Oh, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.

View Quote Bird in the Tree: A serpent! Help! Help! A serpent, a serpent!
Alice: Oh, but please! Please!
Bird in the Tree: Off with you! Shoo! Shoo! Go away! Serpent! Serpeeeent!
Alice: But I'm not a serpent!
Bird in the Tree: Serpent- Indeed? Then just what are you?
Alice: I'm just a little girl.
Bird in the Tree: Little? Ha! Little? [laughs]
Alice: Well, I am! I mean, I-I was.
Bird in the Tree: And I suppose you don't eat eggs, either?
Alice: Yes, I do, but, but, but...
Bird in the Tree: I knew it! I knew it! Serpent! Serpeeeent!
Alice: Oh, for goodness sake!

View Quote Card Painter, Card Painter, Card Painter: Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / We dare to stop or waste a drop / So let the paint be spread / We're painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / Bum bum bum bum / Oh-h-h-h / Painting the roses red / And many a tear we shed
Card Painter: Because we know
Card Painter, Card Painter: They'll cease to grow
Card Painter: In fact, they'll soon be dead
Card Painter, Card Painter: Oh!
Card Painter, Card Painter, Card Painter: And yet we got ahead / Painting the roses red / Red, red, red, red / Red, red, red, red / Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red...
Alice: [singing] Oh, pardon me, but, Mr. 3 / Why must you paint them red?

View Quote Caterpillar: [meeting Alice] Who... 'R'... 'U'?
Alice: I- I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...
Caterpillar: I do not 'C.' Explain yourself.
Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know.
Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.
Caterpillar: 'U'? Who 'R' 'U'?

View Quote Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
Alice: One side of what?
Caterpillar: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.
Alice: The other side of what?
Caterpillar: THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!