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Cheshire Cat: [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
Alice: Now where in the world do you suppose that...?
Cheshire Cat: Lose something?
Alice: [turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her] Oh! Uh, hehe, I...I, no, no, I mean, I, I was just wondering...
Cheshire Cat: Oh, that's...quite all right. One moment please. [two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and the full cat form appears] Second chorus. [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
Alice: Why, why you're a cat!
Cheshire Cat: A Cheshire Cat. [starts to disappear] All mimsy were the borogroves...
Alice: Oh, wait! Don't go, please!
Cheshire Cat: [reappears] There you are! Third chorus...
Alice: Oh, no, no. Thank you, but I just wanted to ask which way I ought to go.
Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you ought to get to.
Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
Alice: Who did?
Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.
Alice: He did?
Chesire Cat: He did what?
Alice: He went that way.
Chesire Cat: Who did?
Alice: The white rabbit!
Chesire Cat: What rabbit?
Alice: But didn't you just say-? I mean- Oh dear!
Chesire Cat: Can you stand on your head? If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...
Cheshire Cat: Or, there's the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice: Oh, thank you. I think i shall visit him...
Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people!
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. [laughs maniacally and begins to disappear] You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.
Alice: Now where in the world do you suppose that...?
Cheshire Cat: Lose something?
Alice: [turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her] Oh! Uh, hehe, I...I, no, no, I mean, I, I was just wondering...
Cheshire Cat: Oh, that's...quite all right. One moment please. [two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and the full cat form appears] Second chorus. [singing] 'Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
Alice: Why, why you're a cat!
Cheshire Cat: A Cheshire Cat. [starts to disappear] All mimsy were the borogroves...
Alice: Oh, wait! Don't go, please!
Cheshire Cat: [reappears] There you are! Third chorus...
Alice: Oh, no, no. Thank you, but I just wanted to ask which way I ought to go.
Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you ought to get to.
Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
Alice: Who did?
Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.
Alice: He did?
Chesire Cat: He did what?
Alice: He went that way.
Chesire Cat: Who did?
Alice: The white rabbit!
Chesire Cat: What rabbit?
Alice: But didn't you just say-? I mean- Oh dear!
Chesire Cat: Can you stand on your head? If I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no no no...
Cheshire Cat: Or, there's the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice: Oh, thank you. I think i shall visit him...
Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.
Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people!
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. [laughs maniacally and begins to disappear] You may have noticed that I'm not all there myself.
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Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from?
Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.
Daisy: [gasps, to Iris] Do you suppose she's a wildflower?
Alice: [giggles] Oh, no. I'm not a wildflower.
Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?
Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.
Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that?
Iris: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?
Alice: Oh, I don't come from any garden.
Daisy: [gasps, to Iris] Do you suppose she's a wildflower?
Alice: [giggles] Oh, no. I'm not a wildflower.
Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear?
Alice: Well, I guess you would call me... genus, humanus... Alice.
Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that?
Iris: Come to think of it, did you ever see an Alice?
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Dodo: [singing] We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!
White Rabbit: [singing] We'll smoke the monster ou... [realizes what he just sang]
White Rabbit: NO! No-ho! My poor house and furniture!
White Rabbit: [singing] We'll smoke the monster ou... [realizes what he just sang]
White Rabbit: NO! No-ho! My poor house and furniture!
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Doorknob: D'ooooh!
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...
Doorknob: Whew. Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice: You see, I was following...
Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?
Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...
Doorknob: Whew. Quite all right, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice: You see, I was following...
Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn? Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?
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Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Alice: [reading the bottle's label] "Drink Me". [uncorks the bottle] Hm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.
Doorknob: Beg your pardon?
Alice: [laughs] I was just giving myself some good advice. [sighs] But... [drinks from the "Drink Me" bottle] Mmm... tastes like, uh... cherry tart. [unknowingly shrinks down to the size of the table; takes another sip] Custard. [shrinks down again, barely holding onto the bottle; takes another drink] Pineapple. [shrinks down so much, she's now even smaller than the bottle itself and struggling with its weight] Roast turkey - [finally aware of the potion's effect] Goodness! [unable to support the bottle any longer, she slips and drops it; the "Drink Me" label covers her] What did I do?!
Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: [runs up to the Doorknob; delighted] But look! I'm just the right size!
[She's about to open the door, but the Doorknob pulls away.]
Doorknob: No use. [laughs] I forgot to tell you. I'm locked!
Alice: Oh, no!
Doorknob: [stops laughing] But of course, you've got the key, so-
Alice: What key?
Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there?!
[A key magically appears on the table Alice can no longer reach.]
Alice: Oh dear!
Alice: [reading the bottle's label] "Drink Me". [uncorks the bottle] Hm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.
Doorknob: Beg your pardon?
Alice: [laughs] I was just giving myself some good advice. [sighs] But... [drinks from the "Drink Me" bottle] Mmm... tastes like, uh... cherry tart. [unknowingly shrinks down to the size of the table; takes another sip] Custard. [shrinks down again, barely holding onto the bottle; takes another drink] Pineapple. [shrinks down so much, she's now even smaller than the bottle itself and struggling with its weight] Roast turkey - [finally aware of the potion's effect] Goodness! [unable to support the bottle any longer, she slips and drops it; the "Drink Me" label covers her] What did I do?!
Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!
Alice: [runs up to the Doorknob; delighted] But look! I'm just the right size!
[She's about to open the door, but the Doorknob pulls away.]
Doorknob: No use. [laughs] I forgot to tell you. I'm locked!
Alice: Oh, no!
Doorknob: [stops laughing] But of course, you've got the key, so-
Alice: What key?
Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there?!
[A key magically appears on the table Alice can no longer reach.]
Alice: Oh dear!
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King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
March Hare: Nothing.
Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?
March Hare: Nothing whatever!
Queen of Hearts: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT!! Jury, write that down!
March Hare: Nothing.
Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?
March Hare: Nothing whatever!
Queen of Hearts: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT!! Jury, write that down!
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Mad Hatter: [after they have restrained the Dormouse] Ah thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
Alice: But I didn't think...
March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
March Hare: See all the trouble you started?
Alice: But I didn't think...
March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
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Mad Hatter: What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?
Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-
March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
Alice: [frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you-
March Hare: I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.
Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: [shocked] WHY IS A WHAT?!
March Hare: [nervously] Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!
Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
Mad Hatter: [nervously] Easy! Don't get excited!
March Hare: [trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea?
Alice: [angrily] "Have a cup of tea" indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!
March Hare: THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
White Rabbit: N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, good bye, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice: The rabbit!
White Rabbit: I'm so late! I'm so very late.
Mad Hatter: [snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!
Rabbit: Two days slow?
Mad Hatter: Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece ] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork ] Why, this watch is full of wheels!
Rabbit: [shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH!! OH, MY WHEELS! AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-
Mad Hatter: BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!!!
March Hare: [shouts into Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!!!
Rabbit: [confused] B-b-butter?
Mad Hatter: Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you!
Rabbit: Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!
Mad Hatter: Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about?
March Hare: Tea?
Mad Hatter: Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE!
Rabbit: NO!
Mad Hatter: TEA! HEHEHE!
Rabbit: [shocked] NO! NOT TEA!
March Hare: Sugar?
Mad Hatter: SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, Yes! (jams the spoons straight into the watch)
Rabbit: [shocked] OH, PLEASE! BE CAREFUL!
March Hare: JAM?
Mad Hatter: JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM!
Rabbit: NO! NO! NOT JAM!
Mad Hatter: Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.
March Hare: MUSTARD??
Mad Hatter: Mustard! yes...huh? MUSTARD?! DON'T LET'S BE SILLY!!! LEMON, that's different, that's... yes. THAT should work! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD!
Alice: OH, MY GOODNESS!
Rabbit: OH, DEAR!
Mad Hatter: I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!
March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!!!
Mad Hatter: OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]
Mad Hatter: Two days slow. That's what it is.
Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-
March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
Alice: [frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you-
March Hare: I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.
Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice: Riddles? [to herself] Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?
Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Mad Hatter: [shocked] WHY IS A WHAT?!
March Hare: [nervously] Careful! SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!
Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
Mad Hatter: [nervously] Easy! Don't get excited!
March Hare: [trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea?
Alice: [angrily] "Have a cup of tea" indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!
March Hare: THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
White Rabbit: N-n-n-no time, no time, no time! Hello, good bye, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice: The rabbit!
White Rabbit: I'm so late! I'm so very late.
Mad Hatter: [snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!
Rabbit: Two days slow?
Mad Hatter: Of course you're late! [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea] MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. [places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece ] AHA! I see what's wrong with it! [starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork ] Why, this watch is full of wheels!
Rabbit: [shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH!! OH, MY WHEELS! AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-
Mad Hatter: BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!!!
March Hare: [shouts into Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!!!
Rabbit: [confused] B-b-butter?
Mad Hatter: Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha ha! Yes! That's FINE! Yes, thank you!
Rabbit: Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!
Mad Hatter: Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! [throws butter in rabbit's face] What are you talking about?
March Hare: Tea?
Mad Hatter: Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE!
Rabbit: NO!
Mad Hatter: TEA! HEHEHE!
Rabbit: [shocked] NO! NOT TEA!
March Hare: Sugar?
Mad Hatter: SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, Yes! (jams the spoons straight into the watch)
Rabbit: [shocked] OH, PLEASE! BE CAREFUL!
March Hare: JAM?
Mad Hatter: JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM!
Rabbit: NO! NO! NOT JAM!
Mad Hatter: Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.
March Hare: MUSTARD??
Mad Hatter: Mustard! yes...huh? MUSTARD?! DON'T LET'S BE SILLY!!! LEMON, that's different, that's... yes. THAT should work! Hahaha! [watch starts going crazy] LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD!
Alice: OH, MY GOODNESS!
Rabbit: OH, DEAR!
Mad Hatter: I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!
March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!!!
Mad Hatter: OH, MY GOODNESS! OH, DEAR, LOOK AT THAT!
March Hare: THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH! [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]
Mad Hatter: Two days slow. That's what it is.
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Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?
Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
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Queen of Hearts: [after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the tapestry] Somebody's head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS! [RRRRIP! Queen's face covered by jam, seeing that Alice must have done this] AH-HA!
Alice: [after throwing away the gavel and jam and stuffing her hands in her apron's pockets, which soon reveals there are parts of the mushroom] The mushroom! [she quickly eats both parts]]
Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH HER HE-------!!!!!!!!! [covers her mouth in shock as Alice is grown to the height of the courtroom]
Alice: [after throwing away the gavel and jam and stuffing her hands in her apron's pockets, which soon reveals there are parts of the mushroom] The mushroom! [she quickly eats both parts]]
Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH HER HE-------!!!!!!!!! [covers her mouth in shock as Alice is grown to the height of the courtroom]
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Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OOOOFF WITH YOUR HAT!!!!!!!!!
Mad Hatter: Oh, my! [takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup, giggles]
King of Hearts: Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?
Mad Hatter: I was home drinking tea. [pours tea into a cup] Today, you know, was... [drinks tea] ...my unbirthday.
King of Hearts: Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday too!
Queen of Hearts: It is?
March Hare: It is?
Card Guards: IT IS??? [to Alice's horror]
Mad Hatter: Oh, my! [takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup, giggles]
King of Hearts: Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?
Mad Hatter: I was home drinking tea. [pours tea into a cup] Today, you know, was... [drinks tea] ...my unbirthday.
King of Hearts: Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday too!
Queen of Hearts: It is?
March Hare: It is?
Card Guards: IT IS??? [to Alice's horror]
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Queen of Hearts: And who is this?
King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?
King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?
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Queen of Hearts: Off with his head!
King of Hearts: Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what Her Majesty said.
King of Hearts: Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what Her Majesty said.
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Queen of Hearts: Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.
Card Painter: Oh no, Your Majesty, please! It's all *his* fault!
Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace!
Queen of Hearts: You?
Card Painter: No, two!
Queen of Hearts: The deuce, you say?
Card Painter: Not me! The three!
Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads!
Card Painter: Oh no, Your Majesty, please! It's all *his* fault!
Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The ace, the ace!
Queen of Hearts: You?
Card Painter: No, two!
Queen of Hearts: The deuce, you say?
Card Painter: Not me! The three!
Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads!
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The Rose: Girls! We shall sing "Golden Afternoon". That's about all of us.