American Wedding quotes

30 total quotes

Michelle Flaherty
Multiple Characters
Paul Finch
Steve Stiffler

View Quote Hey i'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!

View Quote Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bang-****.

View Quote I did **** your Mom... Twice!

View Quote If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

View Quote It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.

View Quote It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-****er. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my **** out.

View Quote Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

View Quote Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

View Quote My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.

View Quote No no no shit head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest ****ing thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.

View Quote Oh, Stifler's Mom!

View Quote Told ya that guy wanted to **** me.

View Quote Voltaire can suck on my balls!

View Quote Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

View Quote Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.