Batman Forever quotes
45 total quotesDr. Chase Meridian
Harvey Dent/Two-Face
The Riddler / Edward Nygma
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"We're 5 little items of an everyday sort. You'll find us all in a tennis court". In... A-E-I-O-U. Vowels.
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Alfred: May I persuade you to take a sandwich with you, sir?
Batman: I'll get drive-through.
Batman: I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.
Commissioner Gordon: [about Two-Face] Can we reason with him? He's holding innocent people hostage up there.
Dr. Chase Meridian: He'll slaughter them without thinking twice.
Batman: Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim-
Meridian: [interrupting] -in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
Batman: Exactly.
Dr. Meridian: Like you. [off his look] Well, let's just say that I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.
Batman: Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
(Riddler speaks with Two-Face in his lair for the first time)
Riddler: I simply love what you've done to this place; heavy metal meets house-and-garden. Splendid! It's so dark, and Gothic, and disgustingly decadent... yet so bright, and chipper, and... conservative. It's so you! And yet, so YOU! Yes, very few people are both a summer and a winter, but... you pull it off nicely.
(Two-Face smiles, then fires a gun into the air close to Riddler's ear, making him recoil)
Two-Face: Just get to the point, big boy.
Riddler: Has anyone told you that you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!
Riddler: Hey, Two-Face! Show me how to punch a guy!
Two-Face: It's darn simple, my boy; ball up a fist, reach way back, and assert yourself! [punches out cop]
Riddler: Ooo! Sounds fun...lemme try, lemme try!
Two-Face: Ball up a fist...
Riddler: [clenches fist] Ball up a fist!
Two-Face: Reach way back...
Riddler: [winds up] Reach way back!
Two-Face: And assert yourself!
Riddler: Assert yours—[punches another cop, but is ineffective] OW! OW!
Alfred: [in Bruce's monitor watch] I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.
Bruce: What? Is he alright?
Alfred: I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.
Wayne: He ran away?
Alfred: Actually, he took... the car.
Wayne: He boosted the Jag?
Alfred: No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.
Wayne: The Bentley?
Alfred: No, sir... the other car.
Dick Grayson: [while beating up Batman] Bastard! I should've been you! If you had told Two-Face who you were at the circus... They'd still be alive!
Batman: If Bruce Wayne could've given his life for your family, he would have.
Dick Grayson: All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you. And all the pain went away. Do you understand?
Bruce Wayne: Yes, I do.
Grayson: Good, 'cause you gotta help me find him. And when we do, I'm the one who kills him.
Wayne: So, you're willing to take a life.
Grayson: Long as it's Two-Face.
Wayne: Then it will happen this way: you make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.
Grayson: You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Wayne: Yes, they were. We're the same.
Dick Grayson: I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What's a good sidekick name?
Bruce Wayne: How about Dick Grayson, college student?
Dick Grayson: Screw you!
Riddler: (switching on a garish green overcoat with flashing light-up question marks) Like the jacket? It keeps me safe when I'm jogging at night!
Dr. Chase Meridian: Batman will come for me.
The Riddler: [fake British accent] Batman? Batman, you say? Coming for you? [laughs, then makes weird noises] I'm... counting on it!
[Bruce and Alfred are trying to figure out the connection between numbers in five riddles.]
Bruce Wayne: Each riddle contains a number, and they go in this order: 13, 1, 8 and 5. Perhaps... letters of the alphabet?
Alfred Pennyworth: Of course! 13 is M.
Wayne: 1 would be A, 8 would be H, and 5 would be E.
Alfred: M-A-H-E...
Wayne: Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
Alfred: 18 is... R. M-R-E.
Wayne: How about "Mr. E"?
Alfred: "Mystery".
Wayne: And another name for mystery?
Alfred: Enigma.
Wayne: Mr. E. Nygma... Edward Nygma. Stickley's suicide was obviously a computer-generated forgery.
Alfred: You really are quite bright, despite what people say.
[Two-Face and The Riddler are trying to sink the Batboat.]
Two-Face: B12!
The Riddler: Hit! And my favorite vitamin, I might add.
Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.
Batman: Oh.
Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler: Why, that's easy, you're as blind as a bat!
Batman: Exactly
(The Riddler and Two-Face are robbing a jewelry store)
The Riddler: (about a diamond he's picked up) Here's a good one!
Two-Face: (holding a huge diamond) No, no! There is a good one.
(upon seeing a newspaper reporting Batman's survival)
Two-Face: [wails dramatically]
The Riddler: That's just what I said. And then I taught my doggy a new trick! How to map the human mind.
[Dr. Meridian is visiting an insane Nygma in Arkham Asylum.]
Dr. Chase Meridian: Edward, please. Who is Batman?
Edward Nygma: I'm Batman! [laughs manically as he flaps his arms like wings]
[outside]
Dr. Meridian: Your secret's safe. He's a complete wacko.
Bruce Wayne: Wacko. That a... technical term?
Batman: I'll get drive-through.
Batman: I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful.
Dr. Chase Meridian: I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table.
Commissioner Gordon: [about Two-Face] Can we reason with him? He's holding innocent people hostage up there.
Dr. Chase Meridian: He'll slaughter them without thinking twice.
Batman: Agreed. A trauma powerful enough to create an alternate personality leaves the victim-
Meridian: [interrupting] -in a world where normal rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
Batman: Exactly.
Dr. Meridian: Like you. [off his look] Well, let's just say that I could write a hell of a paper on a grown man who dresses like a flying rodent.
Batman: Bats aren't rodents, Dr. Meridian.
(Riddler speaks with Two-Face in his lair for the first time)
Riddler: I simply love what you've done to this place; heavy metal meets house-and-garden. Splendid! It's so dark, and Gothic, and disgustingly decadent... yet so bright, and chipper, and... conservative. It's so you! And yet, so YOU! Yes, very few people are both a summer and a winter, but... you pull it off nicely.
(Two-Face smiles, then fires a gun into the air close to Riddler's ear, making him recoil)
Two-Face: Just get to the point, big boy.
Riddler: Has anyone told you that you have a SERIOUS IMPULSE CONTROL PROBLEM?!
Riddler: Hey, Two-Face! Show me how to punch a guy!
Two-Face: It's darn simple, my boy; ball up a fist, reach way back, and assert yourself! [punches out cop]
Riddler: Ooo! Sounds fun...lemme try, lemme try!
Two-Face: Ball up a fist...
Riddler: [clenches fist] Ball up a fist!
Two-Face: Reach way back...
Riddler: [winds up] Reach way back!
Two-Face: And assert yourself!
Riddler: Assert yours—[punches another cop, but is ineffective] OW! OW!
Alfred: [in Bruce's monitor watch] I'm sorry to bother you, sir. But I have some rather distressing news about Master Dick.
Bruce: What? Is he alright?
Alfred: I'm afraid Master Dick has, uhm, gone traveling.
Wayne: He ran away?
Alfred: Actually, he took... the car.
Wayne: He boosted the Jag?
Alfred: No, sir. Not the Jaguar. The other car.
Wayne: The Bentley?
Alfred: No, sir... the other car.
Dick Grayson: [while beating up Batman] Bastard! I should've been you! If you had told Two-Face who you were at the circus... They'd still be alive!
Batman: If Bruce Wayne could've given his life for your family, he would have.
Dick Grayson: All I can think about every second of the day is getting Two-Face. He took my whole life. And when I was out there tonight, I imagined it was him that I was fighting, even when I was fighting you. And all the pain went away. Do you understand?
Bruce Wayne: Yes, I do.
Grayson: Good, 'cause you gotta help me find him. And when we do, I'm the one who kills him.
Wayne: So, you're willing to take a life.
Grayson: Long as it's Two-Face.
Wayne: Then it will happen this way: you make the kill, but your pain doesn't die with Harvey, it grows. So you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why.
Grayson: You can't understand. Your family wasn't killed by a maniac.
Wayne: Yes, they were. We're the same.
Dick Grayson: I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What's a good sidekick name?
Bruce Wayne: How about Dick Grayson, college student?
Dick Grayson: Screw you!
Riddler: (switching on a garish green overcoat with flashing light-up question marks) Like the jacket? It keeps me safe when I'm jogging at night!
Dr. Chase Meridian: Batman will come for me.
The Riddler: [fake British accent] Batman? Batman, you say? Coming for you? [laughs, then makes weird noises] I'm... counting on it!
[Bruce and Alfred are trying to figure out the connection between numbers in five riddles.]
Bruce Wayne: Each riddle contains a number, and they go in this order: 13, 1, 8 and 5. Perhaps... letters of the alphabet?
Alfred Pennyworth: Of course! 13 is M.
Wayne: 1 would be A, 8 would be H, and 5 would be E.
Alfred: M-A-H-E...
Wayne: Perhaps 1 and 8 are 18.
Alfred: 18 is... R. M-R-E.
Wayne: How about "Mr. E"?
Alfred: "Mystery".
Wayne: And another name for mystery?
Alfred: Enigma.
Wayne: Mr. E. Nygma... Edward Nygma. Stickley's suicide was obviously a computer-generated forgery.
Alfred: You really are quite bright, despite what people say.
[Two-Face and The Riddler are trying to sink the Batboat.]
Two-Face: B12!
The Riddler: Hit! And my favorite vitamin, I might add.
Robin: Holey rusted metal, Batman!
Batman: Huh?
Robin: The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey.
Batman: Oh.
Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler: Why, that's easy, you're as blind as a bat!
Batman: Exactly
(The Riddler and Two-Face are robbing a jewelry store)
The Riddler: (about a diamond he's picked up) Here's a good one!
Two-Face: (holding a huge diamond) No, no! There is a good one.
(upon seeing a newspaper reporting Batman's survival)
Two-Face: [wails dramatically]
The Riddler: That's just what I said. And then I taught my doggy a new trick! How to map the human mind.
[Dr. Meridian is visiting an insane Nygma in Arkham Asylum.]
Dr. Chase Meridian: Edward, please. Who is Batman?
Edward Nygma: I'm Batman! [laughs manically as he flaps his arms like wings]
[outside]
Dr. Meridian: Your secret's safe. He's a complete wacko.
Bruce Wayne: Wacko. That a... technical term?
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(after throwing his old supervisor out of a window and into the water below) SURF'S UP, BIG KAHUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (winces) Ooooh! Nice form, but a little rough on the landing. He may have to settle for the bronze. (evil laughter)
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A man's gotta go his own way.
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By the way, do you have a first name, or do I just call you Bats?
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Finally, justice is served! Let us die!
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For if knowledge is power... then a god... am... (Demonic voice) I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I. [pauses] Was that over the top? I can never tell!
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I don't blend in at a family picnic.
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I guess we're all two people.
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I haven't had that much luck with women.
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I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
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I'll see you in Hell.
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It's an old-fashioned low-tech stick-up. We want to have the following: cash, jewelry, celullar telephones. Hand them over nice and quietly and no one will be hurt.
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Let's start this party with a bang!
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One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat, holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? LUCK! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!