Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure quotes

View Quote Billy! You are handling the oddities of time travel with the greatest of ease!

View Quote Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California --- 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean, the water is clean, even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up, minigolf scores are way down. And we have more excellent waterslides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great! But it almost wasn't. You see, 700 years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry, it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.

View Quote Now where are we, dude? Oh. It's my house.

View Quote Shut up, Ted!

View Quote Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.

View Quote Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan?

View Quote You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed!