Billy Madison quotes

32 total quotes

Billy Madison
Clown
Game show host
O'Doyle Family

View Quote Hey, kids it's me! I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha Ha!

View Quote I can see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words... I'm deaf! Oh, Veronica Vaughn... Sooo hot... Want to touch the hiney... Ruff!

View Quote I choose Business Ethics.

View Quote Is that it, Dad? Did the penguin tell you to do this?

View Quote It's nudey magazine day!

View Quote JUST DO IT!

View Quote Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

View Quote O'Doyle rules!

View Quote Shampoo is better; I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better; I leave the hair silky and smooth! Oh, really, fool? Really! [He notices a gold swan on the edge of the bathtub.] Stop looking at me, swan!

View Quote That's QUACKTASTIC!

View Quote To...to...to...today, Junior!

View Quote Well, I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake, and three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.

View Quote Well, I made the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before, and, to be honest with you, I wanted to see a blue duck.

View Quote Whoa, whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy! The part of the story I don't like is that the little boy gave up looking for his pupppy after an hour. He didn't put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's gotta think 'You got a pet. You got a responsibility.' If your dog is lost you don't look for an hour then call it quits? You get your ass out there, and you find that ****ing dog!

View Quote You ain't cool, unless, you pee your pants. All the kids my age pee their pants, it's the coolest.