Constantine quotes

View Quote Midnite: [to Hugh] I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling.

View Quote Possessed Girl: "Papatayin Natin Sila" She is speaking in Tagalog (Philippine National Language). In English: "We will kill them."

View Quote Angela Dodson: I don't believe in the devil.
John Constantine: You should. He believes in you.

View Quote Angela Dodson: I guess God has a plan for all of us.
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm, lady. He's not planning anything.

View Quote Angela Dodson: My sister was murdered last night.
John Constantine: Sorry to hear.
Angela Dodson: Thanks. She jumped off the the roof of a building.
John Constantine: I thought you said she was murdered.
Angela Dodson: Yeah well, Isabel wouldn't have taken her own life.
John Constantine: Of course. What kind of mental patient kills herself? That's just crazy.

View Quote Angela Dodson: You tried to kill yourself.
John Constantine: I didn't try anything.

View Quote Angela Dodson: [Angela is about to transport into Hell via bathtub and has taken off her jacket] So, is this good, or do I have to take off the rest of my clothes?
[pause]
Angela Dodson: John?
John Constantine: I'm thinking...

View Quote Angela Dodson: [asking Constantine to hold elevator] Hold the door, you're going down.
John Constantine: Not if I can help it.

View Quote Balthazar: What are you doing?
John Constantine: I'm reading you your last rites.
Balthazar: Spare me your remedial incantations.
John Constantine: You do know what it is to truly be forgiven? To be welcomed into the Kingdom of God. Demon in heaven, I'd love to be a fly on that wall.
Balthazar: You're not a priest. You have no power.
John Constantine: Just tell me how Mammon is crossing over and you can go back to your shit hole. Okay, Bally, enjoy it. [Balthazar relents]
[after Balthazar gives him the information]
John Constantine: By the way... you have to ask for absolution to be forgiven ... asshole.

View Quote Chas Kramer: When am I going to stop being your slave, John?
John Constantine: You're not my slave, Chas, you're my much appreciated apprentice, just like Robin, or Tonto, or that skinny fellow with the fat friend. [ this is probably reference to Don Quixote and Sancho Panza or Laurel and Hardy, or perhaps Abbott and Costello, or Jay and Silent Bob — or any and all "skinny fellows with a fat friend"]

View Quote Chas Kramer: Why would you do that when you know this isn't my car, John?
John Constantine: I told you to move the car.
Chas Kramer: Yeah, but if you'd told me you were going to drop a three-hundred pound mirror with a pissed-off demon in it, I would have moved it further, John!

View Quote Gabriel: I shall smite thee, in His honour.
Satan: [Gabriel attempts to punch Lucifer, but is unable] Looks like someone doesn't have your back anymore.

View Quote Gabriel: Son of perdition. Little horn! Swine! Most unclean!
Satan: [nostalgic] I do miss the old names.

View Quote Gabriel: [Gabriel sits on top of John Constantine, explaining her rebellion] You're handed this precious gift, right? Each one of you granted redemption from the Creator - murderers, rapists, molesters - all of you just have to repent, and God takes you into His bosom. In all the worlds and all the universe, no other creature can make such a boast, save man. It's not fair.
[Gabriel leans closer to Constantine's face]
Gabriel: If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of His love. But it's only in the face of horror that you truly find your noble self, and you can be so noble. So... I will bring you pain, I will bring you horror.
[Gabriel lifts up Constantine from his collar]
Gabriel: So that you may rise above it. So that those of you who will survive this reign of hell on earth will be worthy of God's love.
John Constantine: Gabriel, you're insane!
Gabriel: [smiles] The road to salvation begins tonight. Right now.
[Gabriel blows gently, sending Constantine crashing to the door]

View Quote Gabriel: [holding a tommy-gun against his chest] You want revenge? Go ahead. I deserve it. Pull the trigger.
John Constantine: [takes the gun and punches Gabriel, who feels pain for the first time as a mortal] That's called pain, get used to it.
Gabriel: [smiling] You could have shot me, John. You chose a higher path.
[Constantine walks out]
Gabriel: [shouting after Constantine] Look how well you're doing!