Deadpool 2 quotes

View Quote [after the convoy carrying the prisoners crashes, and Deadpool stumbles out of the wreckage]
Deadpool: Russell? Russ- where are you? [a fist punches out through one of the cells, and Russell climbs out] Russell? Russell, you're okay! [Juggernaut stands up behind Russell] Oh, thank GoOOOOH MYYY GOD!!! Juggernaut!! [gasps] I thought that was you! I should've worn my white pants!
[Domino approaches, but once she sees Juggernaut, she slides out of the scene, mouthing "Noooo..."]
Juggernaut: [grabs Deadpool] I'm gonna rip you in half now.
Deadpool: That is such a Juggernaut thing to say-- [Juggernaut does exactly that]

View Quote [As the X-Force team prepares to skydive]
Peter: I hate to interrupt, but is anybody nervous about the high winds?
Deadpool: Gary...
Peter: My name's Peter.
Deadpool: I realize that you're new to this, but relax. You've been chosen by a higher power.
Domino: Did he just call himself God?
Bedlam: I think he did.
Peter: I'd like to go home.
Deadpool: [yelling] And I'd like the McRib to be available year round, but sometimes dreams don't come true! I spent ten years in Special Forces! You think we didn't jump out of the plane because of a light breeze?! YOU'RE IN THIS SHIT NOW, MUSTACHE! [whispering] I'm only yelling to impress the other guys. I'd never let anything happen to you, sugar-bear. [pats Peter on the cheek]

View Quote [Deadpool goes back in time to save Peter]
Deadpool: Peter!
Peter: Whoo! X-Force! [maes an X with his arms]
Deadpool: Walk away! Just walk away!
Peter: But we're X-Force!
Deadpool: Nope, we're not! X-Force is just a marketing tool designed by Fox executives to keep Josh Brolin employed! It doesn't exist!
Peter: All right, well... This has been pretty scary. And I need to feed my cat.
Deadpool: Go home, sugar-bear. Go home.
Peter: Okay, will you give Domino my e-mail?

View Quote [Deadpool time-travels to the events of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.]
Wolverine: Wade, is that you? [he notices Wade/Weapon XI's mouth is stitched shut] Guess Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up.
[Wolverine's claws emerge as Weapon XI is suddenly shot down by Deadpool]
Deadpool: Hey! It's me! Don't scratch. Just cleaning up the timeline.
[in the Super Duper Cut]
Deadpool: Look, eventually, you're gonna hang up the claws, and that's gonna make a lot of people very sad.
Wolverine: Huh?
Deadpool: But one day, your pal Wade is gonna ask you to get back in the saddle again. [fires at Weapon XI again] And when he does, say yes.
Wolverine: Oh. Right.
Deadpool: [keeps firing at Weapon XI and then leaves; line present in the standard version] Love you.

View Quote [Ryan Reynolds holds up a script for Green Lantern.]
Ryan Reynolds: Welcome to the big leagues, kid. [In the Super Duper Cut: Goddamn, that's beautiful.] (The script is then sprayed with blood as Reynolds is shot in the head; his still-smiling corpse then slumps forward onto the desk.)
Deadpool: You're welcome, Canada.

View Quote [Trying to get the collar off of Deadpool's neck]
Firefist: We need a code.
Domino: Try, uh... seven?
Deadpool: Settle down, Captain Lucky, it's not gonna be one number.
[Firefist presses the number 7, and the collar unlocks]
Deadpool: God, that's lazy writing.
Domino: I still got it.

View Quote [after Cable shoots Black Tom Cassidy] YOU KILLED BLACK TOM, YOU RACIST SON OF A BITCH!

View Quote [after Firefist starts a fight in the Ice Box] We're not partners or friends. This doesn't end with us riding into the sunset, it ends with me dying of cancer, and you winning the Ice Box award for softest mouth. There's only one person in this world that I care about, and she's gone. You wanna survive? Stop trying to shank the biggest guys in here, and make friends with them. Make friends with someone. Anyone but me. Maybe even Black Tim... Black Evan? I don't know. All I remember is, he was African-American.

View Quote [after the X-Force team is killed off accidentally in a series of random mishaps] Good news and bad news. Bad news is, the whole team is dead. The good news is, I don't think anyone is gonna miss Shatterstar. He was a bit of a prick.

View Quote [from trailer, at Cable's incomplete intro] What in the actual ass?! DALE! W-why are the visual effects not done?! It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache!

View Quote [from trailer; playing with action figures] Zip it, Cable! I got the stones to help you! [teabags Cable's action figure with Deadpool's action figure]

View Quote [from trailer] Your time's up, you dumbass/dumb****.

View Quote [narrating while executing Russian criminals] I know what you're thinking: "I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home." But that's where you'd be wrong. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every good family film starts with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7... [a guy on fire runs around screaming]

View Quote [planning to rescue Firefist with the X-Force team] You all know the plan. Intercept the convoy, grab the boy, but not inappropriately!

View Quote [riding around the X-Mansion on Professor X's wheelchair] What am I supposed to do around here, anyway? Sit in a share circle, talk about my feelings? And how would I do that, exactly, 'cause... where the heck is everyone? It's always just you and Negasonic Teenage-Longest-Name-Ever- [Colossus (grabbing Wade by the shoulder): Enough!] I said no touching. [Colossus throws him off the wheelchair and onto the floor] You'd think the studio would throw us a bone – one that doesn't end up in my mouth. The first movie made more money than the guy who invented pants. But they can't just dust off one of the famous X-Men? How 'bout that putz with the giant pigeon wings? What do those do anyway, huh? [cut to behind Wade; Cyclops, Storm, Nightcrawler, Beast, Quicksilver and Professor X are actually in an adjoining room. Beast quickly closes the door without Wade noticing] Carry him three feet off the ground to snatch up the nearest muffin crumb? No, no, no, no, no. No.