Deadpool 2 quotes

View Quote Cable: We don't have a lot of time. Your friend's about to make his first kill.
Deadpool: No offense, but if you know so much, why not travel back to when he was a baby, kill him then?
Cable: I use a device to slide through time. The longer I travel, the harder it is to control. I got two charges: one to get me here, one to get me home.
Deadpool: Well... [to the viewer] That's just lazy writing.

View Quote Cable: Who are you?
Deadpool: I'm Batman.

View Quote Colossus: Come quietly or there will be trouble!
Firefist: You stole that from RoboCop!
Deadpool: That's RoboCop! Just stand down!

View Quote Deadpool: Say the f word for me. Just once. Come on, we'll do it together. It's no big deal. Here we go. One, two, three. Fu... Fu...
Colossus: ...****
Deadpool: Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.

View Quote Deadpool: [holding a gun on Cable] Talk! What kind of spineless big stick tries to kill a 10-year old boy? You might wanna start talking, 'cause I got a long history with firing at times like this!
Deadpool: Oh, so you're from the future? I have a question then. What Sharknado are we on? Is dubstep still a thing? And when do we stop saying "Enough with the robotic arms"?
[lenghty fight sequence follows]
Cable: Dupstep's for pussies!
Deadpool: You're so dark... You sure you're not from the DC Universe? And I love dubstep!

View Quote Deadpool: [To Cable, after he saved his life] I don't know how to thank you, but I do know how to hug you.
Cable: No.
Deadpool: Yes. [Hugs Cable] There we go, bring it in, come on. Pelvis to pelvis. Let's go, tip-to-tip, there we go. The kids call this "docking". [The sound of a knife is heard] ...Is there a knife in my dick?
Cable: There's a knife in your dick, yeah.

View Quote Deadpool: Family was always an F-word to me. My pile-of-shit father took off and bailed. I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models to draw off of for Todd.
Vanessa: Hey, look at me. You are not your father. Besides... I will never, ever let our child be named Todd.
Deadpool: But here's the thing – isn't that how it always works? Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father, and have consensual sex with their sister?
Vanessa: I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.
Deadpool: No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.
Vanessa: Baby, that's Empire. The point is, kids... they give us a chance to be better than we are. Better than we used to be.
Deadpool: You're a lot smarter than I look.

View Quote Deadpool: Hi there!
Firefist: [pointing at Negasonic Teenage Warhead] Stay back or Justin Bieber dies!
Deadpool: Ha! Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber.

View Quote Deadpool: I'm not gonna abandon this kid. He's never had anyone, ever. I need to be selfless.
Weasel: Yeah, but what does that mean?
Deadpool: It means I'm gonna save Russell. Maybe I couldn't save Vanessa, but maybe I can save a robust teenager from New Zealand.

View Quote Deadpool: Why can't I just die?
Colossus: Take your mask off, Wade. We must talk. [Deadpool does so] You need fresh start. With train, you can be X-Man.
Deadpool: You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus. I'm not X-Men material.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: [enters the room with Yukio] Understatement of the year. Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade. [Yukio waves at Deadpool]
Deadpool: What in the heck is this?
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit.
Deadpool: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends! I'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. [winks at Yukio]
Yukio: [smiling] I like this guy.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Give him a chance. [to Deadpool] It's great seeing you like this.
Deadpool: [laughs] Yeah.
Yukio: [leaves the room with Negasonic Teenage Warhead] Bye, Wade. [waves back]

View Quote Deadpool: Zip it, Thanos!

View Quote Dopinder: I want to become a contract killer.
Deadpool: I'm sorry, what did you say?
Dopinder: Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great blood?
Deadpool: You kind of killed him.
Dopinder: And then remember the movie Interview with the Vampire?
Deadpool: Don't want to.
Dopinder: When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time, and she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said "I want some more..." Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst!
Deadpool: ...I'll never not picture that. But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible.

View Quote Firefist: How do you know what I want?!
Deadpool: Because I've been inside you... that came out wrong. I've been inside your shoes... which is also off-putting. The point is... there are people... There are people in this stupid world, besides him, who will treat you right.

View Quote Headmaster: All you dirty mutants are gonna rot in hell with the boy! Your souls are beyond redemption!
Cable: Let's see your soul, perv! [takes out a knife]
Deadpool: No! No! No! No more! We're better than that! We're better than him! No more senseless violence, no more bloodshed! We'll let karma take care of him.
Headmaster: The day of reckoning is here! [Dopinder suddenly runs over the headmaster in his taxi, followed by silence; Cable winces]
Deadpool: I'm gonna miss him. He seemed great.
Dopinder: [steps out of the taxi, triumphantly] Whoo!!! I'm the brown panther
Deadpool: I could hear you coming the last thirty seconds, I could barely keep a straight face! [laughs]
Dopinder: I want some more...!
Deadpool: I bet you do, Brown Panther.
Deadpool: Good call [To Negasonic and Yukio] You guys coming with us?
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: No, we'll get the kids back to the mansion. Besides, we're X-Men.
Deadpool: No. You're X-People. [taps her on the nose]
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: You're x-hausting.
Deadpool: I see what you did there. Puns.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Our door's always open.
Deadpool: That's kind, but I'm not ready to date again, let alone two women.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: God, you're a douche.
Yukio: [waving] Bye, Wade!
Deadpool: [making a "butterfly" gesture] Bye, Yukio.

View Quote Negasonic Teenage Warhead: [while fixing Cable's time-travel device] How something so small generates enough energy to reverse time...
Deadpool: Ugh! Just fix it, Eleven, or I'll take it to the Genius bar.
Yukio: Cable's going to kill you when he finds out.
Deadpool: Never heard of him.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Why do you think I'm helping him? [tosses the device back to Deadpool]
Deadpool: The Lord works in mysterious ways... don't I? Good day.
Yukio: [waves cheerfully] Bye, Wade.
Deadpool: Bye, Yukio. [waves back]
Yukio: [dropping her smile] That was probably a bad idea.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead: What have we done?