The Departed quotes

View Quote Kneecapped Bankrobber: [after being shot in the knee] I thought you were supposed to go into shock! I'm not in shock! It ****in' hurts!

View Quote Madolyn: I thought I was the liar!

View Quote Singh: Bhenchod!, Kia kar rahay ho?(From Hindi, meaning: sister-****er what are you doing?)

View Quote Singh: What's wrong with this ****ing country? Everybody hates everybody!

View Quote Billy Costigan: Well, "Families are always rising and falling in America", am I right?
Capt. Queenan: Who said that?
Billy Costigan: Hawthorne.
Dignam: Pfft! What's the matter, smartass, don't know any ****in' Shakespeare?

View Quote Bookie: I'm in the hole, I pay him two grand a week! No profit, I pay him two grand a week!
Mr. French: Then make more ****ing money. This is America: You don't make money, you're a ****in' douche bag! Now, what're you gonna do?
Bookie: Make more money!
Mr. French: That's the spirit!

View Quote Costello: [about Costigan] Do you trust him?
Mr. French: Well these days, who's reliable?
Costello: His uncle Jackie was. Yeah, you can't trust a guy acts like he's got nothing to lose.
Mr. French: I'm reliable.
Costello: Arnold, you're one in a million.
Mr. French: Ten. Ten million.
Costello: What about your wife, Arnold?
Mr. French: Well, I thought she was.
Costello: [laughing] She wasn't!
Mr. French: Well, she got reliable.
[flashback showing French strangling his wife]

View Quote Costello: [about Madolyn] Do you like little Miss Freud sucking on your ****?
Sullivan: Yes, yes, I do.

View Quote Costello: [slaps fly] You know what I like about restaurants?
Costigan: The ****ing food? I don't know, what?
Costello: You can learn a lot, watching things eat. [licks fly off palm]

View Quote Costello: Church wants you on your place. Kneel, stand, kneel, stand. If you go for that sort of thing, I don't know what to do for you. A man makes his own way. No one gives it to you. You have to take it. "Non serviam."
Young Colin: James Joyce.
Costello: Smart, Colin. Guineas from the north and down Providence try to tell me what to do. And, uh, something maybe happen to them. Maybe, uh, like that.

View Quote Costello: Good day, father.
Older Priest: Good day, Francis.
Costello: You recall our chat? Little boys. Sucking on their peckers, etc. and so forth. I am as God made me. Is that your rationale? May I remind you - in this archdiocese, God don't run the bingo.
Young Priest: May I remind you - that pride comes before the fall.
Costello: How's Sister Mary Teresa doing? Had a tasty relationship before she took her vows.
[Costello hands the priests a nude drawing of the nun]
Costello: Enjoy your clams, ****s.

View Quote Costello: Have a seat, Bill. Do you know John Lennon?
Costigan: Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.
Costello: Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a ****ing tuber (tuba), I'll get you something out of it."
Costigan: I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some ****ing money out of it.
Costello: Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me--
[Gwen walks through]
Costello: Now what?
Gwen: Choir practice.
Costello: Choir practice. The point I'm making with John Lennon is: a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think, "What could I use you for?"

View Quote Costello: How's your mother?
Man in Bar: She's on her way out.
Costello: We all are, act accordingly.

View Quote Costello: I'm going to have my associate search you.
Costigan: No, no one's ****ing searching me. Searching me for what?
Costello: Contra-****ing-band. Take your shoes off.
[French slams Costigan into a chair]
Mr. French: Shoes.
Costello: [to Costigan] I knew your father.
Costigan: Yeah? You know he's dead?
Costello: Oh, sorry. How'd he go?
Costigan: He didn't complain.
Costello: Yeah, that was his problem.
Costigan: Who said he had a problem?
Costello: I just said he had a ****ing problem. There's a man who could have been anything.
Costigan: Are you trying to say he was nothing?
[French slams Costigan onto a pool table and continues his search]
Costello: I'm saying he worked at the airport. Arm.
[French directs Costigan to a pool table, making him hold out his casted arm]
Mr. French: Show me your arm. Flip it. mm-hmmm, mm-hmmm.
[French slams Costigan's arm on the table until the cast breaks, while Costigan screams in pain]
Costello: It makes me curious to see you in this neighborhood. And if I can slander my own environment, it makes me sad. This, uh, regression. Plus, I don't know if it's beyond some ****ing cop prick like Queenan to pull you out of the Staties and send you gift-wrapped to me. I just can't know. I wonder what they do in that particular department, anyway.
[Costello slams on Costigan's broken arm with Costigan's boot]
Costello: [yelling] Are you still a cop?
Costigan: [in severe pain] No!
[Costello whacks his arm again]
Costello: [yelling] Swear on your mother's grave you're still not a cop?!
Costigan: I'm not a ****ing cop!
[Costello whacks his arm again, this time re-breaking it]
Costello: [yelling] Are you going to stop doing coke deals with your jerk-off ****ing cousin?!
Costigan: Yes, yes, yes!!
Costello: Alright, alright. You're okay, you'll be alright. Get your hand taken care of.
[Costello throws down some money]
Costello: I'm sorry, but it was necessary. As for our problem with Providence - let's not cry over some spilled guineas.

View Quote Costello: Jeez. She fell funny.
[chuckles at the dead bodies]
Mr. French: Francis, you really should see somebody.