The Departed quotes

View Quote Costello: You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.
Costigan: So he never? I mean, never?
Costello: No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. Your Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire ****ing family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.
Costigan: [confused] So what the **** are we talking about here?
Costello: Did you ever think about going back to school?
Costigan: School? [laughs] All due respect Mr. Costello, school is out.
Costello: Maybe someday you'll wake the **** up.

View Quote Costello: You're Johnny Sullivan's kid? You live with your grandmother?
Young Colin: Yeah.
Costello: Vin, get him a couple of bread, couple of half-gallons of milk. You like bologna and cheese? Get some cold cuts, frozen mayo, and... You like comic books? You do good in school?
Young Colin: Yeah
Costello: That's good. So I did too. They call that a paradox. Just keep it, buy yourself some make-up. You ever wanna earn a little extra money, you come by El-street. You know where I am in El-street, huh? Good. Good boy.

View Quote Costigan: Don't you ****ing threaten me!
Dignam: You may play a tough guy for your gangster friends, but you don't get nothing past me, you lace-curtain Irish ****ing pussy!
Costigan: [Punches Dignam] You mother****er!

View Quote Costigan: Hey, you fellas come from Providence?
Providence Gangster #2: Isn't any of your business where we come from, is it, now?
Costigan: ****in' delivering cannolis or something?

View Quote Costigan: Listen, listen. I got like, like thirty thousand bucks, right? Insurance money. You know, after my mother passed and everything?
Cousin Sean: Yeah, yeah.
Costigan: In your line of work, if I gave you like what, ten thousand, what could I get back?
Cousin Sean: You know, you know what you usually say at these moments?
Costigan: What? What?
Cousin Sean: C'mon, man.
Costigan: Aw, come on, you ****ing moron. Come on. What, you want me to say it? Huh? I'm not a cop, alright? I'm your ****ing cousin.
Cousin Sean: Yeah, you're bad! You corrupt ****, man! You must be my cousin.

View Quote Costigan: Yeah, I probably could be you, Frank. But I don't wanna be you!
Costello: "Heavy lies the crown", sorta thing.

View Quote Ellerby: [on getting married] Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think, "At least somebody can stand the son of a bitch." Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your **** must work.
Sullivan: Yeah, it's workin'. Overtime!
Ellerby: I'm glad to hear that

View Quote Ellerby: Go **** yourself.
Dignam: I'm tired from ****ing your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother?
Dignam: Good, she's tired from ****ing my father.

View Quote Lazio: Do you have anyone in with Costello presently?
Dignam: Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe **** yourself.

View Quote Madolyn: Here, this is my card.
Sullivan: Nah, I don't need that. I'm a detective. I'll find you.
[elevator door begins to close; Colin reaches out]
Sullivan: No, I'm just kidding, I need the card.

View Quote Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Madolyn: You know if you lied, you would have an easier time getting what you wanted.
Costigan: What does that say about what you do for a living?
Madolyn: I just think we should have a few more meetings before we even talk about prescriptions.
Costigan: Look... look, I'm having panic attacks, alright? The other night I thought I was having a ****ing heart attack. I puked in a trash barrel on the way over here. I haven't slept for ****ing weeks.
Madolyn: Is that true?
Costigan: Yeah, that's true. Alright? I said it was ****ing true. I want some ****ing pills and you're gonna what? You're gonna close my file? Is that what you're going to do?
Madolyn: No, I didn't close your file. I--
Costigan: I thought I was supposed to tell the truth here, if only ****ing here!
Madolyn: You are! You are!
Costigan: Christ. I mean, a guy comes in here against every, every instinct of privacy and self-reliance he has and what do you do? What do you do, huh? You send him off on the street to score smack, is that what you do? You're ****ing ridiculous!
[Madolyn hands Costigan some Valium]
Costigan: [picking up the pills] Two pills? Great. Why don't you just give me a bottle of scotch and a handgun to blow my ****ing head off! Are we done here with this psychiatry bullshit?
Madolyn: You know what? You can leave!
Costigan: What the **** did I just put myself through? I'm ****ing out of here. And what if that was a legitimate threat? Think about it, ****ing hotshot!

View Quote Mr. French: Do you know me?
Billy Costigan: No... No.
Mr. French: Well, I'm the guy who tells you there's guys you can hit and guys you can't. Now, that's not quite a guy you can't hit, but he's almost a guy you can't hit. So I'm gonna make a ****in' ruling on this right now: you don't ****ing hit him. You understand?
Billy Costigan: Yeah, excellent. Fine, fine. Fine.
Mr. French: I ****ing know you. I know your family. You make one more drug deal with that idiot, ****ing cop-magnet of a cousin and I'll forget your grandmother was so nice to me. I'll cut your ****ing nuts off. You understand that?
Billy Costigan: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Mr. French: What are you drinking?
Billy Costigan: Cranberry juice.
Mr. French: What is it, your period? Get him a cranberry juice.

View Quote Mr. French: Hey, **** head, that's Jackie's nephew.
Man Glassed in Bar: Oh--
Mr. French: What? "Oh", ****ing what? [punches out the man at the bar]

View Quote Queenan: All cell phone signals are under surveillance, due to the courtesy of our Federal friends over there.
Ellerby: Patriot Act, Patriot Act! I love it, I love it, I love it!

View Quote Queenan: Congratulations on passing the detectives' exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.
Dignam: Whoop-de-****in'-do.