Dracula: Dead and Loving It quotes

View Quote [Dracula is outside Mina's room]
Dracula: [to the maid] Essie... Essie... Your eyelids are growing heavy. You will sleep... sleep.
[Essie nods off to sleep]
Dracula: Mina... Mina, open your eyes!
[She does]
Dracula: Arise, Mina.
[She does]
Dracula: Walk to the door.
[Mina opens a door, and goes inside]
Dracula: Mina... you are in the closet. Open the door, and come out.
[She does]
Dracula: Now walk to the terrace door. Watch out for the foot...
[Mina trips over the footstool]
Dracula: ...Stool. Stand up.
[Essie and Mina both rise]
Dracula: Not you. Sit!
[Mina sits]
Dracula: No, not you, you sit.
[Essie sits]
Dracula: You stand.
[Both stand]
Dracula: No! Sit!
[Both sit]
Dracula: No, you stand!
[Both stand]
Dracula: You walk to the terrace door, and you go back to sleep! Watch out!
[Essie and Mina bump into one another and fall to the floor. Dracula throws his arms up in frustration]

View Quote [Dracula picks up Jonathan by the throat]
Dracula: Arrogant mortal! You are in my world now, and you will never leave this attic alive! I will destroy you, and then I will possess she whom you love the most. And there is not a single thing in the world you can do to stop me!
[Dracula laughs. Jonathan pokes him in the eyes and Dracula drops Jonathan]
Dracula: Ow!

View Quote [Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it]
Dr. Seward: I was just telling Ma—what was that?
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just grabbed something from the table.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.
Renfield: [thinks of an alibi] Oh, that was a raspberry.
Dr. Seward: Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.
Renfield: Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.
[The two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up]
Dr. Seward: How silly of me! It must have been my imagin—there, you did it again!
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: [shouts] I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right out of the air and eat it!
Renfield: A spider?
[Swallows the spider in his mouth]
Renfield: How absurd!
[A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. He intentionally throws his fork]
Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork! [gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]
Dr. Seward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? This is most unseemly!
Renfield: Fork found! [Comes back up] Sorry for the delay.
[The grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wriggling about]
Dr. Seward: My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!
Renfield: ...What makes you say that?
Dr. Seward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!
Renfield: Out of my mouth?
Dr. Seward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wriggling about!
Renfield: Don't be ridiculous! Wriggling!
Dr. Seward: I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wriggling all over the place! The poor thing, it's fighting for its life!
[Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, which has fallen from his mouth and quickly scoops it up]
Renfield: I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!
Dr. Seward: Me, ranting? You're the ranter!
[Renfield spots a fly]
Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling!
[Grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly]
Renfield: Don't be afraid!
[Laughs in a strange tone]
Renfield: I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!
[Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table. Renfield is soon grabbed by two asylum attendants.]
Dr. Seward: That's it! Put him in a straight jacket and give him an enema! Wait! Wait, wait... Give him the enema FIRST. THEN put him in a straight jacket.

View Quote [a bat poops on the stairs] Children of the night... what a mess they make!

View Quote [after rising from his coffin and hitting his head on a chandelier] I must move the coffin. [pause] Or the chandelier.

View Quote [as the vampire women are seducing Renfield] No, this is wrong. This is wrong! This is wrong, you hear me? Wrong! This is ... Wrong me! Wrong me! Wrong my brains out!

View Quote [his last line] Renfield, you asshole!

View Quote [in a dream, at a picnic] I'm drinking wine, and I'm eating chicken!

View Quote [upon seeing two voluptuous vampire women - one rubbing a table seductively, the other rubbing the bedpost seductively] My God! What are you doing to the furniture?

View Quote [waking up from a bad dream] Oh, it's night-time. I was having... a daymare.

View Quote I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything [guard locks door] I saw everything! [cackles]

View Quote Yesss... MASSSTER!