These are the laws of my administration No one's allowed to smoke Or tell a dirty joke And whistling is forbidden... If chewing gum is chewed The chewer is pursued. And in the hoosegow hidden... If any form of pleasure is exhibited Report to me and it will be prohibited. I'll put my foot down, so shall it be. This is the land of the free. The last man nearly ruined this place He didn't know what to do with it If you think this country's bad off now Just wait 'til I get through with it The country's taxes must be fixed And I know what to do with it If you think you're paying too much now Just wait 'til I get through with it... I will not stand for anything that's crooked or unfair I'm strictly on the up and up So everyone beware If anyone's caught taking graft And I don't get my share We stand 'em up against the wall And pop goes the weasel. If any man should come between her husband and his bride We find out which one she prefers By letting her decide If she prefers the other man The husband steps outside We stand 'em up against the wall And pop goes the weasel. These Are The Laws of My Administration , sung just after his inauguration

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