Ed Wood quotes

46 total quotes

View Quote Ed Wood: Is there a script?
George Weiss: ****, no. But there's a poster. [he holds up a movie poster for "I Changed My Sex"]

View Quote Ed Wood: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to go out some time. Grab some dinner, maybe.
Vampira: You mean a date? I thought you were a ****.
Ed: No, no. I'm just a transvestite.

View Quote Ed Wood: Mister Lugosi, why are you buying a coffin?
Bela: I'm planning on dying soon.
Ed: No!
Bela: Yes. I'm embarking on another truck and bus tour of "Dracula". Twelve cities in ten days, if that's concievable.

View Quote Ed Wood: Now, what is the one thing, if you put it in a movie, it'll be successful?
George Weiss: Tits.
Ed: No, better than that. A star!
Weiss: Kid, you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures, I make crap.
Ed: Yes — but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something!
Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.

View Quote Ed Wood: This is the one. This is the one I'll be remembered for. [at premiere of Plan 9 from Outer Space]

View Quote Ed Wood: You're the ruler of the universe. Try to show a little taste!

View Quote Ed: These Baptists are... stupid, stupid, STUPID!

View Quote Ed: You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movies.
Bela: Thank you.

View Quote Minister: Welcome, brother! Do you reject Satan and all his works?
Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.
[Sputtering, newly baptized Bunny joins Ed at poolside.]
Bunny: How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized, just so you can make a monster movie?
Ed Wood: It's not a monster movie, it's a supernatural thriller.

View Quote Nurse: OH! My goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela: My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse: For what reason?
Bela: I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I need help.

View Quote Orson Welles: Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend your life making someone else's dreams?

View Quote Vampira: Look, buddy, I've got real offers from real studios. I don't need to blow some dentist to get a part. Forget it.

View Quote Weiss: All right, fine! You can direct it. I want a script in three days. We start shooting a week from Monday.
Ed: Oh... oh, Mister Weiss, thank you so much! You won't regret it! I won't let you down!

View Quote Weiss: On the phone you said you had some "special qualifications"?
Ed: Mister Weiss... I have never told anyone what I'm about to tell you. But I really want this job. [pauses, takes a deep breath] I like to wear women's clothing.
Weiss: You're a fruit?
Ed: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Ed: No, I'm all man. I even fought in W.W. Two. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.

View Quote [At the "wrap party" on completion of Bride of the Monster.]
Conrad Brooks: "Glen or Glenda". Now that was a great movie.
Paul DeMarco: Yeah, but this new one is gonna be a million times better.
Conrad: [awed] Is that possible?