Ed Wood quotes

View Quote [Bela arrives while Ed is on the phone with Bunny Breckinridge.]
Bela Lugosi: Eddie, you got me a new picture, eh?
Ed Wood: Yes. It's gonna be a great picture and you'll love your character. Have a seat. [back on phone] Listen, Bunny? Bela's here. I gotta go. Listen, work some parties, hit the bars, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites! All right. Bye. [hangs up]
Bela: Eddie... what kind of a movie is this?

View Quote [Bela is doing his trademark "hypnotic" hand gesture.]
Ed Wood: My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

View Quote [Bela Lugosi is trying on coffins.]
Bela Lugosi: Too constrictive! I can't even fold my arms.
Coffin Salesman: Gee, Mister Lugosi, I-I've never had any complaints.
Bela: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time!

View Quote [Dolores comes out of the bedroom to find Ed dressed in drag.]
Dolores Fuller: So that's where my sweater's been.

View Quote [Dr. Tom is practicing to be Bela Lugosi's "double".]
Dr. Tom: I vant to suck your blood! I vant to suck your blood!
Bunny Breckinridge: Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a ****.

View Quote [Ed and Bela are watching Vampira's TV show.]
Ed Wood: Oh, I hate it when she interrupts the picture. She doesn't show 'em the proper respect.
Bela Lugosi: I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs!

View Quote [Ed and Kathy O'Hara are on a first date at a carnival.]
Ed Wood: I'm about to tell you something that I've never told any girl on a first date. But I think it's important that you know... [takes a deep breath] I like to wear women's clothing.
[There is a long pause.]
Kathy O'Hara: ...Huh?
Ed: I like to wear women's clothing. Panties, brassieres, pumps, sweaters... it's just something I do. And I can't believe I'm telling you this, but I really like you and I don't want it getting in the way down the road.
Kathy: Does this mean... you don't like sex with girls?
Ed: No, I love sex with girls.
Kathy: [after a pause for thought] Okay.
Ed: Okay?
Kathy: Okay.

View Quote [Ed has hustled a group of reporters and photographers out of Bela's room at the sanitorium.]
Bela: Eddie, why did you chase them?
Ed: Bela, those people are parasites! They just wanna exploit you.
Bela: So what? Let them. Finally the press is interested again in Bela Lugosi. There is no such thing as bad press, Eddie. Man from New York even said he was going to put me on the front page — first celebrity ever to check into rehab.

View Quote [Ed is on the phone with Mr. Feldman at Warner Brothers Studios.]
Ed Wood: So — we gonna be working together? [pauses to listen] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello?

View Quote [Ed's Baptist church sponsors dispute his directorial decisions.]
Mr. Reynolds: Mister Wood, do you know anything about the art of filmmaking?
Ed Wood: Well, I like to think so!

View Quote [Ed, Dolores, and Bunny are at a professional wrestling show.]
Bunny Breckinridge: Guess where I'm going next week.
Ed Wood: I don't know. Where?
Bunny: Me-hee-co. Guess what I'm doing when I get there.
Ed: I don't know — lie on a beach.
Bunny: Wrong. I'm getting my first series of hormone injections. And when those girls kick in, they're gonna take out my organs and make me... a woman.
Ed: Are you serious?
Bunny: It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! Goodbye, penis!
Dolores Fuller: Would you please keep it down?

View Quote [Ed, dressed in drag for a scene as Glenda, addresses his crew on the first day of filming.]
Ed Wood: Everybody, we're about to embark on quite a journey: four days of hard work. But when it's over, we'll have a picture that'll entertain, enlighten, and maybe even move millions of people.

View Quote [In the waiting room, Ed strikes up a conversation with a girl in an angora sweater.]
Ed Wood: Don't you think angora has a certain tactile sensuality lacking in all other fabrics?
Kathy O'Hara: Well, I suppose so. It is awfully expensive.
Ed: Well, it's made from specially-bred rabbits that live in the Himalayas.
Kathy: Say, what are you — an angora wholesaler?

View Quote [On the set, Ed has taken to wearing women's clothing full-time.]
Ed Wood: But, Georgie, I'm proud! I wrote, directed, and starred in it, just like Orson Welles did in "Citizen Kane".
George Weiss: Yeah? Well, Orson Welles didn't wear angora sweaters, did he?

View Quote [The Baptists object to Tor Johnson's speaking part.]
Mr. Reynolds: Why does he have all the lines? The man's unintelligible!
Ed: Look, Lugosi's dead and Vampira won't talk. I had to give somebody the dialogue!