Eight Crazy Nights quotes

View Quote Mr. Chang: 4 scorpion bowls in 5 minutes? That's got to be a restaurant record.
Davey: Well, right now, I'm gonna go for another restaurant record: Longest burp.
[Davey does a loud, long burp as everybody stares at him]
Mr. Chang: [sarcastically] Congratulations! Now, please excuse me while I go take shower.
Narrator: It ain't a better time of year. You got no school, you can eat like a pig, and people give you stuff. Kind of makes you feel all tingly inside, doesn't it?
Whitey: You're not welcome in my house.
Davey: Good! Your house sucks!
Eleanor: [thinks Davey is holding their house up] Mister, if you're gonna kill us, will you take off your wet shoes? You're soaking the carpet.

View Quote (Davey comes over to see a disgusting sight: Whitey’s butt cheeks are covered with white, furry hair as Whitey puts a jock strap on) Ugh! Jeezum crow! Did I just see two Persian cats on your ass? I think I’m gonna (burping) BAAARF!

View Quote (in a seizure at the end of the film) This is the happiest seizure of my life.

View Quote (opening a flask) Your honor, I still got a pretty good jump shot. Let me show you. (he takes a drink of whiskey, and then jumps very quickly, and not very far) {the people viewing just shake their heads} I’d hit a three-pointer, except I’d have to drop my pants and pop a thumb up my boo-boo.

View Quote (to Whitey, after his trailer has been destroyed) I should stick you on a twig and roast you!

View Quote Foul on this kid, for eating everything in sight. Jelly-jugs, the next time you come onto my court, you better wear a bra, okay?

View Quote JENNIFER! JENNIFER! What's the matter with the way I live my life?! Huh, Jennifer?! Where are you?! At home, reading your baby boy a bedtime story, while he sucks his thumb and goes pee-pee on his blanket?! AW, HORSESHIT!!

View Quote Smell ya later, poopsicle.

View Quote Technical foul! Technical foul!

View Quote What other options do you got, Rockefeller?!