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Ash: You should probably put your bandit hat on now. Personally, I-I don't have one, but I modified this tube sock.
Kristofferson: We look good.
Ash: Yeah, we do.
Kristofferson: We look good.
Ash: Yeah, we do.
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Ash: [after Mr. Fox has just lost his tail in the shooting] It'll-- It'll grow back, won't it?
Kylie: Tails don't grow back.
Ash: Tails don't grow back?
Kylie: Uh-uh. Except for lizards.
Mr. Fox: Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be tail-less for the rest of my life.
Ash: Well, anyway, it's not half as bad as double pneumonia, right? I mean, his dad's got one foot in the grave and three feet on a banana peel. That's a lot worse than just...
Kristofferson: [ricochets an acorn around the room, which lands in the teacup he is holding. The others glare in amazement] Excuse me, everyone. I'm gonna go meditate for half an hour.
[exits quickly and slams the door]
Felicity: [to Ash, sternly] You have got twenty-nine minutes to come up with a proper apology.
Ash: [snaps, gestures wildly] Me? Me have an apology? He gets a bandit hat? He just got here, and he gets a bandit hat? Where's my bandit hat? Why didn't I get shot at? It's because, you... you... YOU THINK I'M NO GOOD AT ANYTHING!!! Well, maybe you're right, thanks. [stomps away angrily and closes door upon exit]
Kylie: [sighs; to Mr. Fox] Told ya not to bring him.
Kylie: Tails don't grow back.
Ash: Tails don't grow back?
Kylie: Uh-uh. Except for lizards.
Mr. Fox: Tails don't grow back. I'm gonna be tail-less for the rest of my life.
Ash: Well, anyway, it's not half as bad as double pneumonia, right? I mean, his dad's got one foot in the grave and three feet on a banana peel. That's a lot worse than just...
Kristofferson: [ricochets an acorn around the room, which lands in the teacup he is holding. The others glare in amazement] Excuse me, everyone. I'm gonna go meditate for half an hour.
[exits quickly and slams the door]
Felicity: [to Ash, sternly] You have got twenty-nine minutes to come up with a proper apology.
Ash: [snaps, gestures wildly] Me? Me have an apology? He gets a bandit hat? He just got here, and he gets a bandit hat? Where's my bandit hat? Why didn't I get shot at? It's because, you... you... YOU THINK I'M NO GOOD AT ANYTHING!!! Well, maybe you're right, thanks. [stomps away angrily and closes door upon exit]
Kylie: [sighs; to Mr. Fox] Told ya not to bring him.
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Ash: I'm here to rescue you.
Kristofferson: ...I've got mixed feelings about that.
Ash: I don't blame you.
Kristofferson: ...I've got mixed feelings about that.
Ash: I don't blame you.
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Badger: Don't buy this tree, Foxy. You're borrowing at nine-and-a-half with no fixed rate, plus moving into the most dangerous neighborhood in the country for someone of your type of species.
Mr. Fox: You're exaggerating, Badger.
Badger: [scoffs] I'm sugar-coating it, man. This is Boggis, Bunce, and Bean; three of the meanest, nastiest, UGLIEST farmers in the history of this valley.
Mr. Fox: Really? Tell me about them.
Badger: [sighs] All right. Walt Boggis is a chicken farmer, probably the most successful in the world. He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros. He eats three chickens every day for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dessert. That's twelve in total per diem. Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer. He's approximately the size of a pot-bellied dwarf, and his chin would be underwater in the shallow end of any swimming pool on the planet. His food is homemade donuts with smashed up goose livers injected into them. Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer. He invented his own species of each. He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic cider, which he makes from his apples. He's as skinny as a pencil, as smart as a whip, and possibly the scariest man currently living. The local human children sing a kind of... eerie little rhyme about him. Here, listen to this. [turns on the radio]
Children: [singing] ♪ Boggis, Bunce, and Bean. One fat, one short, one lean. Those horrible crooks so different in looks, were nonetheless equally mean. ♪
Badger: [turns off the radio] In summation, I just think you gotta not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cuss, and point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss with somebody, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Mr. Fox: You're not gonna cuss with me! [Both start snarling at each other. Linda pushes the typewriter and they settle down] Just buy the tree.
Badger: Okay.
Mr. Fox: You're exaggerating, Badger.
Badger: [scoffs] I'm sugar-coating it, man. This is Boggis, Bunce, and Bean; three of the meanest, nastiest, UGLIEST farmers in the history of this valley.
Mr. Fox: Really? Tell me about them.
Badger: [sighs] All right. Walt Boggis is a chicken farmer, probably the most successful in the world. He weighs the same as a young rhinoceros. He eats three chickens every day for breakfast, lunch, supper, and dessert. That's twelve in total per diem. Nate Bunce is a duck and goose farmer. He's approximately the size of a pot-bellied dwarf, and his chin would be underwater in the shallow end of any swimming pool on the planet. His food is homemade donuts with smashed up goose livers injected into them. Frank Bean is a turkey and apple farmer. He invented his own species of each. He lives on a liquid diet of strong alcoholic cider, which he makes from his apples. He's as skinny as a pencil, as smart as a whip, and possibly the scariest man currently living. The local human children sing a kind of... eerie little rhyme about him. Here, listen to this. [turns on the radio]
Children: [singing] ♪ Boggis, Bunce, and Bean. One fat, one short, one lean. Those horrible crooks so different in looks, were nonetheless equally mean. ♪
Badger: [turns off the radio] In summation, I just think you gotta not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cuss, and point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss with somebody, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!
Mr. Fox: You're not gonna cuss with me! [Both start snarling at each other. Linda pushes the typewriter and they settle down] Just buy the tree.
Badger: Okay.
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Bean: Ah, so good of you to come! I'm happy to see you! You both looking splendid! How ya been, Walter? In good health, I trust.
Boggis: Uh, uh, uh...
Bean: Nathan, all is well?
Bunce: Uh...
Bean: Wonderful! Any fox problems?
Boggis: Are you joking?!
Bunce: It's horrible!
Boggis: We're miserable!
Bunce: He's laughing at us!
Boggis: It's humiliating!
Bunce: We're furious!
Boggis: I don't even want to talk about it.
Bean: [drinks a glass of cider] Perhaps we ought to kill him.
Boggis: Well, that seems rather obvious.
Bunce: He's too sneaky!
Bean: Ah, yes. He's very clever, isn't he? Might be a bit difficult, I suppose. [shoots every light around in one fluid movement] But I already figured out where this fox lives. So tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes, wait for him to come out of the hole in the tree, and shoot the cuss to smithereens. How does that grab you, fellas?
Boggis: Yeah, don't see why not.
Boggis: Uh, uh, uh...
Bean: Nathan, all is well?
Bunce: Uh...
Bean: Wonderful! Any fox problems?
Boggis: Are you joking?!
Bunce: It's horrible!
Boggis: We're miserable!
Bunce: He's laughing at us!
Boggis: It's humiliating!
Bunce: We're furious!
Boggis: I don't even want to talk about it.
Bean: [drinks a glass of cider] Perhaps we ought to kill him.
Boggis: Well, that seems rather obvious.
Bunce: He's too sneaky!
Bean: Ah, yes. He's very clever, isn't he? Might be a bit difficult, I suppose. [shoots every light around in one fluid movement] But I already figured out where this fox lives. So tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes, wait for him to come out of the hole in the tree, and shoot the cuss to smithereens. How does that grab you, fellas?
Boggis: Yeah, don't see why not.
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Coach Skip: Let's see some hustle!
Kristofferson: Coach, we don't have whack-bat where I'm from. What are the rules?
Coach Skip: There's no whack-bat on the other side of the river?
Kristofferson: No, we mostly just run grass sprints or play acorns.
Coach Skip: Well, it's real simple. Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and the player at whack-bat. The center tagger lights a pine cone and chucks it over the basket and the player tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock. Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls "hotbox". Finally, you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine.
Kristofferson: Got it.
Coach Skip: Go in for Ash.
Kristofferson: Coach, we don't have whack-bat where I'm from. What are the rules?
Coach Skip: There's no whack-bat on the other side of the river?
Kristofferson: No, we mostly just run grass sprints or play acorns.
Coach Skip: Well, it's real simple. Basically, there's three grabbers, three taggers, five twig runners, and the player at whack-bat. The center tagger lights a pine cone and chucks it over the basket and the player tries to hit the cedar stick off the cross rock. Then the twig runners dash back and forth until the pine cone burns out and the umpire calls "hotbox". Finally, you count up however many score-downs it adds up to and divide that by nine.
Kristofferson: Got it.
Coach Skip: Go in for Ash.
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Felicity: I'm going to lose my temper now.
Mr. Fox: When?
Felicity: Right now.
Mr. Fox: Well, when-- [Felicity slashes at his face with her claws, Mr. Fox shouts in pain]
Felicity: Twelve fox years ago, you made a promise to me, while we we're caged inside that fox trap. That if we survived, you would never steal another chicken, turkey, goose, duck, or a squab, whatever they are, [voice breaking] and I believed you. Why? Why Did You LIE To Me???
Mr. Fox: Because I'm a wild animal.
Felicity: You are also a husband, and a father.
Mr. Fox: I'm trying to tell you the truth about myself.
Felicity: I don't care about the truth about yourself. This story is too... predictable.
Mr. Fox: Predictable? Really? What happens in the end?
Felicity: In the end, we all die.... Unless you change. [leaves]
Mr. Fox: When?
Felicity: Right now.
Mr. Fox: Well, when-- [Felicity slashes at his face with her claws, Mr. Fox shouts in pain]
Felicity: Twelve fox years ago, you made a promise to me, while we we're caged inside that fox trap. That if we survived, you would never steal another chicken, turkey, goose, duck, or a squab, whatever they are, [voice breaking] and I believed you. Why? Why Did You LIE To Me???
Mr. Fox: Because I'm a wild animal.
Felicity: You are also a husband, and a father.
Mr. Fox: I'm trying to tell you the truth about myself.
Felicity: I don't care about the truth about yourself. This story is too... predictable.
Mr. Fox: Predictable? Really? What happens in the end?
Felicity: In the end, we all die.... Unless you change. [leaves]
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Mr. Fox: [as Spitz chases him] Back, You angry dog! BACK!
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Mr. Fox: [in a cellar with many of the other animal characters] Alright, let's start planning. Who knows shorthand? [Linda raises her hand] Great! Linda! Lutra lutra - you got some dry paper? [she holds up paper] Here we go. Mole! Talpa europaea! What d'you got?
Phil: I can see in the dark.
Mr. Fox: That's incredible! We can use that! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Rabbit! Oryctolagus cuniculus!
Rabbit: I'm fast.
Mr. Fox: You bet you are. Linda?
Linda Otter: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Beaver! Castor fiber!
Beaver: I can chew through wood.
Mr. Fox: Amazing! Linda!
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Badger! Meles meles!
Badger: Demolitions expert.
Mr. Fox: What? Since when?
Badger: Explosions! Flames! Burning things!
Mr. Fox: Demolitions expert! OK! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: [grabs Weasel] WEASEL! MUSTELA NIVALIS!
Weasel: STOP YELLING!!
Mr. Fox: Ha! Ha-ha! Whoo! Okay. Ash, you and Agnes team up with these little kids and put together some kind of KP unit to keep this sewer clean. It's good for morale.
Ash: Done. [to Agnes] What's KP?
Agnes: I think it means janitors. [Ash spits]
Vole: Hey-hey! Down here. I wanna go with you, too. I wanna fight!
Mr. Fox: Good, fabulous! Microtus pennsylvanicus!
[Vole laughs]
Kylie: Hey, I didn't get a job yet, or a Latin name. What's my strength?
Mr. Fox: Listen, you're Kylie. You're an unbelievably nice guy. Your job is really, just to...be available, I think. I don't know your Latin name, I doubt they even had opossums in Ancient Rome.
Phil: I can see in the dark.
Mr. Fox: That's incredible! We can use that! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Rabbit! Oryctolagus cuniculus!
Rabbit: I'm fast.
Mr. Fox: You bet you are. Linda?
Linda Otter: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Beaver! Castor fiber!
Beaver: I can chew through wood.
Mr. Fox: Amazing! Linda!
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: Badger! Meles meles!
Badger: Demolitions expert.
Mr. Fox: What? Since when?
Badger: Explosions! Flames! Burning things!
Mr. Fox: Demolitions expert! OK! Linda?
Linda: Got it.
Mr. Fox: [grabs Weasel] WEASEL! MUSTELA NIVALIS!
Weasel: STOP YELLING!!
Mr. Fox: Ha! Ha-ha! Whoo! Okay. Ash, you and Agnes team up with these little kids and put together some kind of KP unit to keep this sewer clean. It's good for morale.
Ash: Done. [to Agnes] What's KP?
Agnes: I think it means janitors. [Ash spits]
Vole: Hey-hey! Down here. I wanna go with you, too. I wanna fight!
Mr. Fox: Good, fabulous! Microtus pennsylvanicus!
[Vole laughs]
Kylie: Hey, I didn't get a job yet, or a Latin name. What's my strength?
Mr. Fox: Listen, you're Kylie. You're an unbelievably nice guy. Your job is really, just to...be available, I think. I don't know your Latin name, I doubt they even had opossums in Ancient Rome.
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Mr. Fox: [sighs] Who am I, Kylie?
Kylie: Who how? What now?
Mr. Fox: Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? I'm saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you'll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?
Kylie: I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds illegal.
Kylie: Who how? What now?
Mr. Fox: Why a fox? Why not a horse, or a beetle, or a bald eagle? I'm saying this more as, like, existentialism, you know? Who am I? And how can a fox ever be happy without, you'll forgive the expression, a chicken in its teeth?
Kylie: I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds illegal.
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Mr. Fox: [yelling] YOU SCARED THE CUSS OUT OF US!!!!!!
Badger: [growls angrily] A lot of good animals are [yelling with rage] PROBABLY GONNA DIE...BECAUSE OF YOU!!! [everyone looks shocked] [angry tone] We've been digging in circles for three days! Half the woods have been obliterated, nobody can get out, Right now my wife's huddled at the bottom of the flint-mine with no food, no water, and 27 Starving Animal Brats!
Phil: I just want to see a little...sunshine.
Mr. Fox: But you're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes barely even open on a good day.
Phil: I'm sick of your double talk! We have rights!
Beaver's Son: We don't like you and we hate your dad. Now grab some of that mud, chew it in your mouth, and swallow it.
Ash: I'm not gonna eat mud!
Beaver's Son: Cuss yeah, you are! [picks up a large glob of mud and shoves it in Ash's face. Ash makes a gagging sound but does not react further]
Kristofferson: [takes off his shoes] Don't do that.
Beaver's Son: Why'd you take your shoes off?
Kristofferson: [pushes Ash away] So I don't break your nose when I kick it. [proceeds to take Beaver's son out with some precision karate moves, ending with a throwdown on the ground. Beaver's son then gets up and walks away crying]
Ash: I can fight my own fights.
Kristofferson: [turns to Ash] No, you can't.
Badger: [growls angrily] A lot of good animals are [yelling with rage] PROBABLY GONNA DIE...BECAUSE OF YOU!!! [everyone looks shocked] [angry tone] We've been digging in circles for three days! Half the woods have been obliterated, nobody can get out, Right now my wife's huddled at the bottom of the flint-mine with no food, no water, and 27 Starving Animal Brats!
Phil: I just want to see a little...sunshine.
Mr. Fox: But you're nocturnal, Phil. Your eyes barely even open on a good day.
Phil: I'm sick of your double talk! We have rights!
Beaver's Son: We don't like you and we hate your dad. Now grab some of that mud, chew it in your mouth, and swallow it.
Ash: I'm not gonna eat mud!
Beaver's Son: Cuss yeah, you are! [picks up a large glob of mud and shoves it in Ash's face. Ash makes a gagging sound but does not react further]
Kristofferson: [takes off his shoes] Don't do that.
Beaver's Son: Why'd you take your shoes off?
Kristofferson: [pushes Ash away] So I don't break your nose when I kick it. [proceeds to take Beaver's son out with some precision karate moves, ending with a throwdown on the ground. Beaver's son then gets up and walks away crying]
Ash: I can fight my own fights.
Kristofferson: [turns to Ash] No, you can't.
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Mr. Fox: I guess now that Kristofferson's dad's already down to single pneumonia... ...and getting better, he'll be going home soon, huh?
Felicity: Actually, when he spoke to me from the hospital, he said... ...he was already talking to Weasel about real estate availabilities ...down in our sewer system.
Mr. Fox: Oh, really? Well, now's the time to buy.
[Mr. Fox sips his juice]
Felicity: Actually, when he spoke to me from the hospital, he said... ...he was already talking to Weasel about real estate availabilities ...down in our sewer system.
Mr. Fox: Oh, really? Well, now's the time to buy.
[Mr. Fox sips his juice]
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Mr. Fox: I spotted a couple of broken burglar bars underneath the back door to Bean's secret cider cellar.
Kylie: We're breaking into Bean's house?
Mr. Fox: Cellar.
Kylie: Where he lives?
Mr. Fox: Where he keeps the cider.
Ash: [appears behind them] Below where he lives.
Mr. Fox: Where'd you come from? You go back to the tree and do your homework.
Ash: I wanna help you steal some cider.
Mr. Fox: We're going to a book party, and you keep your mouth shut about any cider because no one ever said that. Now get out of here!
Ash: But-- Uh..
Mr. Fox: But Nothing! You're gonna get me in a lot of trouble! Besides, you're too little and uncoordinated. [Ash scowls, twitches his ear and spits and Mr. Fox points at the tree] One, two, three! [Ash growls with rage and storms back to the tree] Where the cuss does that kid get off? Can you believe that? How did he get tipped off?
Kylie: We're breaking into Bean's house?
Mr. Fox: Cellar.
Kylie: Where he lives?
Mr. Fox: Where he keeps the cider.
Ash: [appears behind them] Below where he lives.
Mr. Fox: Where'd you come from? You go back to the tree and do your homework.
Ash: I wanna help you steal some cider.
Mr. Fox: We're going to a book party, and you keep your mouth shut about any cider because no one ever said that. Now get out of here!
Ash: But-- Uh..
Mr. Fox: But Nothing! You're gonna get me in a lot of trouble! Besides, you're too little and uncoordinated. [Ash scowls, twitches his ear and spits and Mr. Fox points at the tree] One, two, three! [Ash growls with rage and storms back to the tree] Where the cuss does that kid get off? Can you believe that? How did he get tipped off?
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Mr. Fox: Wake up, everybody, they're digging us out!
Felicity: They'll kill the children!
Mr. Fox: Over my dead body, they will!
Felicity: That's what I'm saying! You'd be dead too in that scenario!
Mr. Fox: Well, I'm arguing against thatǃ
[They begin arguing over each other]
Felicity: What are you talking about?
Mr. Fox: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?ǃ
Kylie: STOP, STOP, STOPǃ! You say one thing, she says another, and it all changes back againǃ
Felicity: They'll kill the children!
Mr. Fox: Over my dead body, they will!
Felicity: That's what I'm saying! You'd be dead too in that scenario!
Mr. Fox: Well, I'm arguing against thatǃ
[They begin arguing over each other]
Felicity: What are you talking about?
Mr. Fox: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?ǃ
Kylie: STOP, STOP, STOPǃ! You say one thing, she says another, and it all changes back againǃ