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[after the animals have been flushed into the sewers by Bean's cider, Mr. Fox goes into a tunnel to be alone, Felicity follows]
Mr. Fox: Badger's right. These farmers aren't gonna quit until they catch me. I shouldn't have lied to your face. I shouldn't have fallen off the wagon and started secretly stealing chickens on the sly. I shouldn't have driven these farmers so far and tried to embarrass them and cussed with their heads. I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it. And now there's only one way out of this. Maybe if I hand myself over and let them kill me, stuff me, and hang me over their mantelpiece...
Felicity: You'll do no such thing.
Mr. Fox: Darling, maybe they'll let everyone else live.
Felicity: [sadly] Oh, why did you have to get us into this, Foxy?
Mr. Fox: I don't know, but I have a possible theory. I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I'm the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if they aren't knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself. Foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey, and outsmart predators, and that's what I'm actually good at. I think at the end of the day, I'm just...
Felicity: I know, we're wild animals.
Mr. Fox: Hmm. I guess we always were. I promise you, if I had all this to do over again, I'd have never let you down. It was always more fun when we did it together, anyway. [both foxes kiss and hug] I love you, Felicity.
Felicity: I love you, too. But I shouldn't have married you.
Mr. Fox: Badger's right. These farmers aren't gonna quit until they catch me. I shouldn't have lied to your face. I shouldn't have fallen off the wagon and started secretly stealing chickens on the sly. I shouldn't have driven these farmers so far and tried to embarrass them and cussed with their heads. I enjoyed it, but I shouldn't have done it. And now there's only one way out of this. Maybe if I hand myself over and let them kill me, stuff me, and hang me over their mantelpiece...
Felicity: You'll do no such thing.
Mr. Fox: Darling, maybe they'll let everyone else live.
Felicity: [sadly] Oh, why did you have to get us into this, Foxy?
Mr. Fox: I don't know, but I have a possible theory. I think I have this thing where I need everybody to think I'm the greatest, the quote-unquote Fantastic Mr. Fox. And if they aren't knocked out and dazzled and slightly intimidated by me, I don't feel good about myself. Foxes traditionally like to court danger, hunt prey, and outsmart predators, and that's what I'm actually good at. I think at the end of the day, I'm just...
Felicity: I know, we're wild animals.
Mr. Fox: Hmm. I guess we always were. I promise you, if I had all this to do over again, I'd have never let you down. It was always more fun when we did it together, anyway. [both foxes kiss and hug] I love you, Felicity.
Felicity: I love you, too. But I shouldn't have married you.
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[Mr. Fox and Kylie are sneaking through the Fox family's kitchen. Meanwhile, Felicity sees them from a doorway]
Felicity: Another book party?
Mr. Fox: [surprised] Oh! I didn't see you sitting in the dark over there. [grins sheepishly] Yeah! No actually, there's a fire. I just got the call. They said maybe it's arson. I've got to interview the marshal and see if it's...
Felicity: [turns on the light] Kylie, is he telling the truth?
Kylie: [turns to Mr. Fox] I... I don't want to be put into the middle of this.
Mr. Fox: Thanks, Kylie.
Felicity: [notices something off to her right, points to Kristofferson wearing his bandit hat] Why is he wearing that bandit hat?
[Kristofferson, who is halfway out the door leading to the kitchen from the stairwell leading upstairs and pulls his bandit hat up to obscure his face]
Mr. Fox: His ears were cold. He's not with us. [to Kristofferson] Go back to bed.
[Kristofferson leaves and closes the door, Felicity looks back at Mr. Fox and Kylie]
Felicity: If what I think is happening is happening... [zooms in to an extreme close-up] it better not be.
Felicity: Another book party?
Mr. Fox: [surprised] Oh! I didn't see you sitting in the dark over there. [grins sheepishly] Yeah! No actually, there's a fire. I just got the call. They said maybe it's arson. I've got to interview the marshal and see if it's...
Felicity: [turns on the light] Kylie, is he telling the truth?
Kylie: [turns to Mr. Fox] I... I don't want to be put into the middle of this.
Mr. Fox: Thanks, Kylie.
Felicity: [notices something off to her right, points to Kristofferson wearing his bandit hat] Why is he wearing that bandit hat?
[Kristofferson, who is halfway out the door leading to the kitchen from the stairwell leading upstairs and pulls his bandit hat up to obscure his face]
Mr. Fox: His ears were cold. He's not with us. [to Kristofferson] Go back to bed.
[Kristofferson leaves and closes the door, Felicity looks back at Mr. Fox and Kylie]
Felicity: If what I think is happening is happening... [zooms in to an extreme close-up] it better not be.
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[in his letter to the farmers] "Dear Farmers Boggis, Bunce and Bean, I have no alternative but to agree to your terms. Move the station wagon and open the manhole cover below the foot of the drainpipe next to the cobbler shop, and meet me there today at 10 AM sharp. I will hand myself over to you in exchange for the boy's safe return. Cordially, Mr. Fox."
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[In the supermarket, offering a juice-box toast] They say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum, but it's cool to the paw - try it. They say my tail needs to be dry cleaned twice a month, but now it's fully detachable - see? They say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. Yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. I guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. And even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals I've ever met in my life. So let's raise our boxes - to our survival.
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[to Badger, angrily] YOU SCARED THE CUSS OUT OF US!
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[To Frank Bean, as he prepares for the final battle] Your tractors uprooted my tree. Your posse hunted my family. Your gunmen kidnapped my nephew. Your rat insulted my wife... and YOU shot off my tail! I'm not leaving here without that necktie!
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[to Ms. Bean while holding Kristofferson upside down] Wrap this wet, little mutt in a newspaper, and put him in a box with some holes punched in the top.
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Ah, yes. He's very clever, isn't he? Might be a bit difficult, I suppose. [shoots every light around in one fluid movement] But I already figured out where this fox lives. So tomorrow night, we'll camp in the bushes, wait for him to come out of the hole in the tree, and shoot the cuss to smithereens. How does that grab you, fellas?
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Am I being flirted with by a psychotic rat?
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Are you cussing with me?
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Honey, I'm seven non-fox years old. My father died at seven and a half. I don't want to live in a hole anymore. I'm going to do something about it.
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I guess we do have these three ugly farmers to thank for one thing: reminding us to be thankful and aware of each other. I'm gonna say it again: aware.
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If what I think is happening is happening, it better not be.
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My suicide mission has been cancelled. We're replacing it with a go-for-broke rescue mission.
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Redemption? Sure. But in the end, he's just another dead rat in a garbage pail behind a Chinese restaurant.