Fast Times at Ridgemont High quotes

View Quote Stu Nahan: [Spicoli is dreaming that he's won a surfing competition] Hello everybody! I'm Stu Nahan, and I'd like you to meet this young man. His name, Jeff Spicoli. And Jeff, congratulations to you. Things looked kind of rough out there today.
Spicoli: Well, I'll tell you Stu, I did battle some humongous waves! But you know, just like I told the guy on ABC, "Danger is my business!"
Stu Nahan: You know, a lot of people expected maybe Mark "Cutback" Davis or Bob "Jungle Death" Gerrard would take the honors this year.
Spicoli: [laughs incredulously] Those guys are ****s!
Stu Nahan: [oblivious] That's fantastic! Let me ask you a question. When you get out there, do you ever fear for your life?
Spicoli: Well Stu I'll tell you, surfing's not a sport, it's a way of life, you know, a hobby. It's a way of looking at that wave and saying, "Hey bud, let's party!" [focuses on Stu's sport coat] Where'd you get this jacket?
Stu Nahan: I got this from the network. Let me ask you a question. What's next for Jeff Spicoli?
Spicoli: Heading over to the Australian and Hawaiian internationals, and then me and Mick are going to wing on over to London and jam with the Stones! [to the two girls next to him] And you guys are invited too!

View Quote [after Spicoli wrecks Jefferson's car]
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us!
Spicoli: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna shit!
Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Jefferson's Brother: First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us!
Spicoli: Relax, all right? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.

View Quote [Jeff Spicoli has just been delivered a pizza during Mr. Hand's class]
Mr. Hand: Am I hallucinating here, just what in the hell do you think you're doing?
Spicoli: Learning about Cuba, having some food.

View Quote [After being caught masturbating by Linda] Doesn't anybody ever ****ing knock anymore?!?

View Quote [driving and really stoned] People on 'ludes should not drive.

View Quote [dumping out cold fries] I shall serve no fries before their time.

View Quote [passing back quizzes] C, D, F, F, F. Three weeks we've been talking about the Platt Amendment. What are you people, on dope?

View Quote [Pours coffee on robber] I got you now you son of a bitch! [car speeds away] There goes your ride!

View Quote [Stacy Hamilton exits the abortion-clinic building] Since when do you bowl anyway?

View Quote [talking on the phone, hits his head with a shoe] That was my skull! I'm so wasted!

View Quote [the "five-point plan"] First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

View Quote [to Arnold] You want to work at All American Burger. I can probably get you in, just let me talk to Dennis Taylor.

View Quote [to Jefferson] Is that your little brother? He's a good looking kid.

View Quote [to Mark] I can see it all now, this is gonna be just like last summer. You fell in love with that girl at the Fotomat, you bought forty dollars worth of ****in' film, and you never even talked to her. You don't even own a camera.

View Quote [to Mark] Look at you: member of the honor roll, assistant to the assistant manager of the movie theater. I'm tellin' ya, Rat, if this girl can't smell your qualifications, then who needs her, right?