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Bartender: He's been struck by lightning... how many times has it been now, Reg?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-six...
Chet: Six times?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sixty-sixty-six times. In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n the head!
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-six...
Chet: Six times?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sixty-sixty-six times. In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n the head!
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Ben: Dad?
Chet: Yes, Ben?
Ben: Does this mean we won't be getting Christmas presents this year from Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman?
Buck: Oh, blow it out of your ass, Ben!
Connie: Okay, nobody is blowing anything out of their ass. What we are having is a little problem, and it doesn't mean your father and I don't love your Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman, what it means is that we're having some emotions.
Chet: What it means, what it means is that I would like to blow Uncle Roman out of my ass, that's what it means!
Connie: I don't want to hear anything else about anyone blowing anything out of their ass!
Ben: You might as well blow the whole family out of your ass while you're at it, Dad!
Chet: Do you understand what's going on here, son? Do you know what your mother and I are trying to say?
Ben: Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman are incredible butt-heads, right?
Chet and Connie (in unison): Exactly!
Chet: Yes, Ben?
Ben: Does this mean we won't be getting Christmas presents this year from Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman?
Buck: Oh, blow it out of your ass, Ben!
Connie: Okay, nobody is blowing anything out of their ass. What we are having is a little problem, and it doesn't mean your father and I don't love your Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman, what it means is that we're having some emotions.
Chet: What it means, what it means is that I would like to blow Uncle Roman out of my ass, that's what it means!
Connie: I don't want to hear anything else about anyone blowing anything out of their ass!
Ben: You might as well blow the whole family out of your ass while you're at it, Dad!
Chet: Do you understand what's going on here, son? Do you know what your mother and I are trying to say?
Ben: Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman are incredible butt-heads, right?
Chet and Connie (in unison): Exactly!
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Chet: And by the way, don't try to steal any of our stuff on your way out!
Kate: Stuff? What stuff is there to steal?
Connie: Oh, we got stuff!
Kate: You're a louse!
Connie: Well, why don't you go find yourself a spin cycle!
Chet: Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle! (turning to Connie) What the hell does that mean?
Kate: Stuff? What stuff is there to steal?
Connie: Oh, we got stuff!
Kate: You're a louse!
Connie: Well, why don't you go find yourself a spin cycle!
Chet: Yeah, go find yourself a spin cycle! (turning to Connie) What the hell does that mean?
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Kate: Ahh!
[Kate and Roman run out of their bedroom]
Roman: What?
Kate: It touched me!
Roman: It's been touching you for 12 years. You never freak!
Kate: Not you!
[Kate hits Roman on the arm]
Kate: A thing.
Roman: What thing?
Chet: [comes out of his bedroom, along with the rest of the family, and turns on the lights] What's going on?
Kate: That thing!
[points to a bat]
Roman: Oh, it's just a little sparrow.
Kate: Come on, Roman. It's got ears!
[everyone screams and runs out of the cabin]
[Kate and Roman run out of their bedroom]
Roman: What?
Kate: It touched me!
Roman: It's been touching you for 12 years. You never freak!
Kate: Not you!
[Kate hits Roman on the arm]
Kate: A thing.
Roman: What thing?
Chet: [comes out of his bedroom, along with the rest of the family, and turns on the lights] What's going on?
Kate: That thing!
[points to a bat]
Roman: Oh, it's just a little sparrow.
Kate: Come on, Roman. It's got ears!
[everyone screams and runs out of the cabin]
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[Chet getting pulled behind the boat on water-skis]
Chet: You bastard, you bastard!
Roman: I think he's saying go faster.
Chet: You bastard, you bastard!
Roman: I think he's saying go faster.
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Chet is going to shit a solid gold brick when he sees us.
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Pontoon boat? What are you going to do with a pontoon boat? Retake Omaha Beach?
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You know what the gourmet here wanted? Hot dogs! You know what they're made of, Chet? Huh? Lips and assholes!