Hercules quotes
63 total quotesOther
Phil
The Narrator and the Muses
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Zeus: You ought to slow down. You'll work yourself to death. Hah! Work yourself to death!
[everone laughs]
Zeus: Oh, I kill myself!
Hades: [to himself] If only. If only.
[everone laughs]
Zeus: Oh, I kill myself!
Hades: [to himself] If only. If only.
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[Hercules is fighting Nessus, and losing]
Phil: Come on, kid, concentrate! USE YOUR HEAD!
Hercules: Ah...
[Hercules headbutts Nessus, sending him flying]
Phil: Alright! Not bad, kid! [To himself] Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad...
Phil: Come on, kid, concentrate! USE YOUR HEAD!
Hercules: Ah...
[Hercules headbutts Nessus, sending him flying]
Phil: Alright! Not bad, kid! [To himself] Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad...
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[Hercules survives the river and saves Meg]
Hades: This is... This is impossible! Y-y-you can't be alive! You'd have to be a...
Pain and Panic: A God?!
Hades: This is... This is impossible! Y-y-you can't be alive! You'd have to be a...
Pain and Panic: A God?!
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[about Hercules] He comes on with his big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute.
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[after a mob of female fans have left Hercules] It's all right. The sea of raging hormones has ebbed.
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[as she lays dying in Hercules' arms] People always do crazy things... (groan) when they're in love.
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[getting down from Pegasus] I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin the upholstery.
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[Hades arrives] Speak of the devil.
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[heard after the credits end] What d'ya say? It's happy ending time! Everybody's got a little taste of somethin' but me. I got nothin'. I'm - I'm here with nothin'. Anybody listenin'? It's like I'm - What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace?! Hello, it's me. Nobody listens.
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[Phil is trying to tell Hercules the truth about Meg.]
Phil: Kid, listen to me! She's...
Hercules: A dream come true?
Phil: Not exactly.
Hercules: More beautiful than Aphrodite?
Phil: Aside from that.
Hercules: The most wonderful...
Phil: SHE'S A FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!!!!! SHE'S BEEN PLAYIN' YOU FOR A SAP!!
Hercules: Stop kidding around, Phil.
Phil: I'm not kiddin' around!
Hercules: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to--
Phil: Kid, you're missin' the point!
Hercules: The point is I love her.
Phil: She don't love you!
Hercules: You're crazy.
Phil: She's nothing but a two-timin'...
Hercules: Stop it!
Phil: ... no-good, lyin', schemin'...
Hercules: SHUT UP!!! [Hits Phil]
Hercules: A dream come true?
Phil: Not exactly.
Hercules: More beautiful than Aphrodite?
Phil: Aside from that.
Hercules: The most wonderful...
Phil: SHE'S A FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!!!!!!! SHE'S BEEN PLAYIN' YOU FOR A SAP!!
Hercules: Stop kidding around, Phil.
Phil: I'm not kiddin' around!
Hercules: I know you're upset about today, but that's no reason to--
Phil: Kid, you're missin' the point!
Hercules: The point is I love her.
Phil: She don't love you!
Hercules: You're crazy.
Phil: She's nothing but a two-timin'...
Hercules: Stop it!
Phil: ... no-good, lyin', schemin'...
Hercules: SHUT UP!!! [Hits Phil]
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[seeing Hercules hiding from fans behind a curtain] Let's see. What could be behind curtain number one?
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[to Meg] You work for me! If I say "Sing", you say "Hey, name that tune!"
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[while Hercules stutters for an answer] Are you always this articulate?
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Alright, so here's the trade-off. You give up your strength for about 24 hours-- Okay, say the next 24 hours, [fast] and-Meg-here-is-as-free-as-a-bird-and-safe-from-harm,-you-dance,-you-kiss,-you-schmooze,-you carry-on,-we-go-home-happy...-Whaddaya-say?-Come-on.
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And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! [pause] BUT THAT MESHUGGANEH HEEL OF HIS! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom! He's history.