Hot Fuzz quotes

View Quote Sgt. Turner: Sergeant Angel? Someone from 'London' called for you.

View Quote Simon Skinner: [taking a ginger-haired boy hostage] Freeze! Or the ginger-nut gets it! [the child bites Skinner's hand and runs away] Ow! You little ****ER!

View Quote Tim Messenger: [seconds before an ornate stone feature of the church roof falls on his head] Hi hi!

View Quote Chief Inspector: I know what you're going to say, Nicholas, but the fact is you've been making us all look bad.
Nicholas Angel: I'm sorry, sir?
Chief Inspector: Of course, we all appreciate your efforts, but you've been rather letting the side down.
Met Inspector: It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.
Met Sergeant: You can't be the Sheriff of London.
Chief Inspector: If we let you carry on running around town, you'll continue to be exceptional... and we can't have that. You'll put us all out of a job.
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector.
Nicholas Angel: Well, however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account... and that's what the team is gonna make of this!
[Nicholas gets up and storms out, only to see all of his colleagues happily standing underneath a banner reading 'Good Luck Nicholas']

View Quote Danny Butterman: Do you really think this is murder?
Nichilas Angel: I just don't think we should rule it out, that's all.
PC Bob Walker: [walking past them with Saxon the police dog] I think you're talkin' a load of ol' shit.
Danny Butterman: He thinks you're talkin' a load of of shit.

View Quote Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air?
Nicholas Angel: No.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever been involved in a high speed car chase?
Nicholas Angel: Yes I have.
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired a gun whilst in a high speed car chase?
Nicholas Angel: No!

View Quote Danny Butterman: Have you seen a lot of action, Sergeant Angel?
Nicholas Angel: I've experienced my fair share, yes.
Danny Butterman: You cook any fools?
Nicholas Angels: What?
Danny Butterman: Did you shoot anyone?
DS Andy Wainwright: He shot a crackhead with a Kalashnikov.
Danny Butterman: [impressed] Caw, where'd you get that?
Nicholas Angel: The offender had the Kalashnikov.
Danny Butterman: [impressed] Caw, where'd he get that?

View Quote Danny Butterman: How's Lurch?
Nicholas Angel: He's in the freezer.
Danny Butterman: Did you say 'cool off'?
Nicholas Angel: No, I didn't say anything actually.
Danny Butterman: Shame.
Nicholas Angel: There was a bit earlier that you missed when I distracted him with a cuddly monkey, then I said 'playtime's over' and I hit him with the Peace Lily.
Danny Butterman: You're off the ****in' chain!

View Quote Danny Butterman: I'll drive!
Nicholas Angel: SHOTGUN! PUNCH...THAT...SHIT!!!

View Quote Danny Butterman: Want anything from the shop?
Nicholas Angel: You've just been to the shop.
Danny Butterman: Thinkin' of a different shop.

View Quote Danny Butterman: What made you wanna be a policeman?
Nicholas Angel: [correcting him] Officer.
Danny Butterman: What made you wanna be a policeman-officer?
Nicholas Angel: I can't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer, except in the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog. It all started with my Uncle Derek; he was a sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode round in it every second I was awake, arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young but, it didn't stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
Danny Butterman: Sounds like a good bloke.
Nicholas Angel: Actually he was arrested for selling drugs to students.
Danny Butterman: What a ****.
Nicholas Angel: Probably bought the pedal car with the proceeds. Needless to say, I never went near it again. I just let it rust. But I never forgot the sense of right and wrong I learned behind the wheel of that pedal car. I had to prove to myself that the law was proper, and righteous, and for the good of human kind.
Danny Butterman: Shame.
Nicholas Angel: How so?
Danny Butterman: I think you'd have made a great Muppet.

View Quote Danny Butterman: What was it like bein' stabbed?
Nicholas Angel: It was the single most painful experience of my life.
Danny Butterman: What was the second most painful?

View Quote DC Andy Cartwright: Angel! Don't you go being a twat now!
Nicholas Angel: [grinning] I wouldn't give you the satisfaction!

View Quote DC Andy Cartwright: Everybody and their mums is packin' round here.
Nicholas Angel: Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
Nicholas Angel: Who else?
DC Andy Cartwright: Farmers' mums.

View Quote DC Andy Cartwright: We're just hoping to talk to the last people to see Mr. Merchant alive. Namely a Sergeant Nicolarse ass-wipe and ****stable Fanny Batterbomb.
Danny Butterman: [smiling] Hey, that's us!