Joe Dirt quotes
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Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt.
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I'm a rocker through and through. Here's a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep...
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Life's a garden, dig it.
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When bad pets go bad, dang.
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Turn it up.
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Ya gotta keep on, keepin' on.
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Right on! You're Joe Meteorite and I'm Joe Dirt.
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You guys got somethin' to say to me? Why don't you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? they don't like no feed back, what's up?
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His name's Rocky and he ain't no puppy.
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[Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch] Now, this ain't no flapjack, so I'm gonna be real careful, I won't look.
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My name is Joe Dirt?, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.
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[Joe falls off a swing] And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.
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There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I'm number one. Rule number two, the croc's number two.
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[To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You're going to Hell, man.
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And you'll be sticking your head out the window and check out chick dogs saying "What's up, baby?"
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That shit'll buff out.
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Luckily, my neck broke my fall.
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You wanna fight? Why don't you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?
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It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.
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Why don't you go practice, fallin' down, I'll be there in a minute.
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Where's my supplies?
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I thought I had broken my ass bone
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[while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt
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I got the poo on me!!