Juno quotes

89 total quotes

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters

View Quote Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that! [Juno gives her the finger]

View Quote Leah:[reading] "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." Aw... all that's missing is your bastard!

View Quote Mark: [singing] If you can't decide between a little breakfast and lunch, why don't you microwave yourself a little bowl of brunch?

View Quote Paulie Bleeker: I know that you weren't bored that day because there was a lot of stuff on TV, and then The Blair Witch Project was coming on Starz and you were like, "I haven't seen this since it came out so we should watch it" and, "but oh, no, we should just make out instead", la la la.

View Quote Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you're done with it. Don't think it's yours just because you marked it with your urine!

View Quote Su-Chin: [protesting outside the abortion clinic] All babies want to get borned! All babies want to get borned!

View Quote Su-Chin: [Seeing Juno running out of the clinic] God appreciates your miracle!

View Quote Vijay: I'm gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.

View Quote Bren: [to an ultrasound technician] Why don't you go back to night school in Manteno and learn a real trade?
Juno: Bren, you's a dick! I love it!

View Quote Bren: I have sacrificed a lot for you, Juno, and when you move out I'm getting Weimaraners!
Juno: Whoa, dream big!
Bren: Oh, go fly a kite!

View Quote Gerta Rauss: ...So, we all agree that a closed adoption is the best decision for all involved?
Juno: SSSHHIT! YES! Close it up!

View Quote Juno: [yelling through the house] Uh, dad?
Mac: Yeah?
Juno: Either I just peed my pants... or...
Mac: [stops what he's doing and looks up] "Or"...?
Juno: Or... THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

View Quote Juno: Can't we just like kick this old school? You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?
Mark: Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.

View Quote Juno: He said her house smells like soup.
Leah: Oh my god it does! I was there like four years ago for her birthday party. It's like Lipton landing!

View Quote Juno: I could like, have this baby and give it to someone who like totally needs it.
Leah: You should look in the PennySaver.
Juno: They have ads for parents?
Leah: Yeah! '"Desperately Seeking Spawn."