Juno quotes

89 total quotes

Bren MacGuff
Juno MacGuff
Mac MacGuff
Multiple Characters

View Quote I think I'm just going to nip it in the bud, you know, before it gets worse. 'Cause you know, they say pregnancy can often lead to, you know — an infant.

View Quote I think that kids get bored and they have intercourse.

View Quote I'm going to go to Women Now, because they help women now.

View Quote In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty... handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

View Quote Is it boy troubles? Cause I don't really approve of you dating in your condition.

View Quote It ended with a chair.

View Quote It started with a chair.

View Quote Juno has a great sense of humor. Just one of her many genetic gifts.

View Quote Liberty Bell, if you put one more Bac-O on that potato, I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.

View Quote My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin was the hot one with the polio.

View Quote My dad used to be in the Army, but now he's just your average H-VAC specialist. He and my mom got divorced when I was five and now she lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona with her new husband and three replacement kids. Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly, this cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."

View Quote My stepmom, Bren, makes me eat super healthy, you know? I can't stand in front of the microwave, and no red M&Ms. I hope you're ready.

View Quote Next time I see that Bleeker kid I'm going to punch him in the wiener.

View Quote Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto.

View Quote Someone else is gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus in this garbage dump of a situation.