The Kentucky Fried Movie quotes

View Quote Loo: And who are they?
Dr. Klahn: Refuse, found in waterfront bars.
Loo: Shanghaied?
Dr. Klahn: Just lost drunken men who don't know where they are and no longer care.
Prisoner #1: Where are we?
Prisoner #2: I don't care!
Loo: And these?
Dr. Klahn: These are lost drunken men who don't know where they are, but do care! And these are men who know where they are and care, but don't drink.
Prisoner #3: I don't know who I am?
Prisoner #4: And I don't drink!
Dr. Klahn: Guards! [to prisoner] Do you care?
Prisoner #5: No.
Dr. Klahn: Put this man in cell #1, and give him a drink.
Guard: What do you drink?
Prisoner #5: I don't care.

View Quote Newscaster: Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquakes rock Los Angeles. Film at eleven.
Narrator: If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno," if you were terrified by "Earthquake," Then you will be SCARED SHITLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"

View Quote Pennington: These are the Hartz Mountains of Asia. A terrain so rugged, so treacherous, no country will claim it.
Asquith: Worse then Detroit?
Pennington: I'm afraid so.

View Quote The Architect: What are you saying?
The Nurse: Leave her... come back to Montana with me.
The Architect: I could no sooner run away from her than myself.
The Nurse: I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect: Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse: My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect: What are you saying?
The Nurse: Leave her! Come back to Montana with me!
The Architect: I could no sooner run away from her than myself!
The Nurse: I'm not asking you to run, I'm asking you to face reality!
The Architect: Whose reality, yours or mine?
The Nurse: My reality AND yours, that's whose!
The Architect: What are you saying?

View Quote [after decapitating a prisoner] Now take him to be tortured!

View Quote [telephone rings, answering machine picks up] Herro. This is Dr. Klahn. I'm not home right now. Leave a message when you hear the beyep. You have our gratitude. [gong sound]

View Quote Although, so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death: one, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness.

View Quote Brutal! Savage! Beyond Perversion!

View Quote I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven.

View Quote In the past year, over 800,000 millions have died. Despite millions of dollars of research, death continues to be our nation's number one killer.

View Quote It is also important to know what to do you when you die. 1) Don't try to drive a car. 2) Do not operate heavy machinery. 3) Do not talk.

View Quote Moscow in flames, missiles inbound, film at 11:00

View Quote Never before has the beauty of the sexual act been so crassly exploited!

View Quote No! Not water! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ohhh! I'm melting! I'm melting! What a world, what a world! It was a fighting force of extraordinary magnitude!

View Quote The popcorn you are eating has been pissed in. More at eleven.