The Long Kiss Goodnight quotes
26 total quotesMitch Henessey
Samantha Caine/Charly Baltimore
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Assassin: Hey, princess. Want some company?
Charly Baltimore: No, thanks. I'm saving myself for when I get raped.
Charly Baltimore: No, thanks. I'm saving myself for when I get raped.
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Charly Baltimore: Easy, sport. Got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey.
Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.
Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.
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Charly Baltimore: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Mitch Henessey: Well, why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.
Mitch Henessey: Well, why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.
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Charly Baltimore: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
Mitch Henessey: I took lessons!
Mitch Henessey: I took lessons!
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Mitch Henessey: And what about your daughter, what's her name . . . Cathead?
Charly Baltimore: Caitlin.
Charly Baltimore: Caitlin.
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Mitch Henessey: So, you cold?
Charly Baltimore: Yeah. Freezing.
Mitch Henessey: Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise -- distracts from the cold.
Charly Baltimore: Yeah. Freezing.
Mitch Henessey: Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise -- distracts from the cold.
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Samantha Caine: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.
Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.
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[A man directs an unimpressed Charly into an alley with his gun.]
Charly Baltimore: Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight. Shoo!
Gunman: Hey, honey, this is a real big ****ing gun.
[Mitch appears with his own gun pointed at the man's head.]
Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye, pal.
Charly Baltimore: What the hell are you doing?
Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that "ham on rye" line.
Charly Baltimore: Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight. Shoo!
Gunman: Hey, honey, this is a real big ****ing gun.
[Mitch appears with his own gun pointed at the man's head.]
Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye, pal.
Charly Baltimore: What the hell are you doing?
Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin' up that "ham on rye" line.
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[Caitlin and Charly are locked in a fridge.]
Caitlin Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?
Charly Baltimore: Oh, no, baby. No, you're not gonna die. They are.
[Charly strikes a match to light a gasoline stream.]
Charly Baltimore: Cover your ears. Hey! Should we get a dog?
Caitlin Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?
Charly Baltimore: Oh, no, baby. No, you're not gonna die. They are.
[Charly strikes a match to light a gasoline stream.]
Charly Baltimore: Cover your ears. Hey! Should we get a dog?
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[Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and surprises one of her students.]
Charly Baltimore: Good morning, Raymond.
Raymond: [nervously] Good morning, Miss Caine.
Charly Baltimore: What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here.
[She takes a puff.]
Charly Baltimore: Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me, I'll blow your ****ing head off.
Charly Baltimore: Good morning, Raymond.
Raymond: [nervously] Good morning, Miss Caine.
Charly Baltimore: What have we learned about the dangers of smoking? Give it here.
[She takes a puff.]
Charly Baltimore: Thanks. Tell anyone you saw me, I'll blow your ****ing head off.
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[Charly steals the bomb-carrying truck. The dislodged driver calls on the radio.]
Truck Driver: I'm– I'm hurt real bad. I think I'm dying.
Timothy: Continue dying. Out.
Truck Driver: I'm– I'm hurt real bad. I think I'm dying.
Timothy: Continue dying. Out.
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[In a hotel room]
Mitch Henessey: Tell me, do you always curse this much?
Samantha Caine: What are you, a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon, that's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. I mean . . . When I first met you, you were all "Oh phooey, I burnt the darn muffins;" now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come running out.
Mitch Henessey: Tell me, do you always curse this much?
Samantha Caine: What are you, a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon, that's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. I mean . . . When I first met you, you were all "Oh phooey, I burnt the darn muffins;" now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come running out.
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[On arriving at the train station, Mitch takes his gun from a file in the trunk and puts it into his pocket]
Mitch Henessey:[Singing] Put the car keys in my left pocket. Gun in the right hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge! People will see it.
Mitch Henessey: You want me to put it into my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: What? So now you're a sharp shooter?
Mitch Henessey:[Singing] Put the car keys in my left pocket. Gun in the right hand side.
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge! People will see it.
Mitch Henessey: You want me to put it into my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: What? So now you're a sharp shooter?
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[Waldman grabs an oblivious Henessey from behind.]
Nathan Waldman: Stay quiet, and drop the rifle.
[Waldman pushes Henessey up against a barn wall.]
Mitch Henessey: How'd you find us?
Nathan Waldman: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.
Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.
Nathan Waldman: Stay quiet, and drop the rifle.
[Waldman pushes Henessey up against a barn wall.]
Mitch Henessey: How'd you find us?
Nathan Waldman: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.
Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.
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[Waldman hands a frightened Samantha a gun and pulls another one out.]
Mitch Henessey: Tell me, old man, how many of those things you got?
Nathan Waldman: Three: one shoulder, one hip, and one right here next to Mr. Wally, where most pat-downs never reveal it, as an agent's often reluctant to feel up another man's groin. Any other questions?
Mitch Henessey: Yeah! What's the weather like on your planet?
Mitch Henessey: Tell me, old man, how many of those things you got?
Nathan Waldman: Three: one shoulder, one hip, and one right here next to Mr. Wally, where most pat-downs never reveal it, as an agent's often reluctant to feel up another man's groin. Any other questions?
Mitch Henessey: Yeah! What's the weather like on your planet?