View Quote
Al: Do you know what I think?
Ed: What is it? What is it that you think?
Al: There is no such thing as a bad coincidence.
Ed: What is it? What is it that you think?
Al: There is no such thing as a bad coincidence.
View Quote
Mr. Eddy: You like pornos?
Pete: Pornos?
Mr. Eddy: Give you a boner?
Pete: No thanks, Mr Eddy
Mr. Eddy: Suit yourself, champ
Pete: Pornos?
Mr. Eddy: Give you a boner?
Pete: No thanks, Mr Eddy
Mr. Eddy: Suit yourself, champ
View Quote
Mystery Man: We've met before, haven't we?
Fred: I don't think so. Where was it you think we met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Fred: No. No, I don't. Are you sure?
Mystery Man: Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.
Fred: What do you mean? You're where right now?
Mystery Man: At your house.
Fred: [pause] That's ****ing crazy, man.
Mystery Man: Call Me. Dial your number. Go ahead.
[Fred dials the number and the Mystery Man answers]
Mystery Man: [over the phone] I told you I was here.
Fred: [alarmed] How'd you do that?
Mystery Man: Ask me.
Fred: [angrily into the phone] How did you get inside my house?
Mystery Man: You invited me. It is not my custom to go where I am not wanted.
Fred: [into the phone] Who are you?
[Both Mystery Men laugh]
Mystery Man: [over the phone] Give me back my phone.
[Fred gives the phone back]
Mystery Man: It's been a pleasure talking to you.
Fred: I don't think so. Where was it you think we met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Fred: No. No, I don't. Are you sure?
Mystery Man: Of course. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now.
Fred: What do you mean? You're where right now?
Mystery Man: At your house.
Fred: [pause] That's ****ing crazy, man.
Mystery Man: Call Me. Dial your number. Go ahead.
[Fred dials the number and the Mystery Man answers]
Mystery Man: [over the phone] I told you I was here.
Fred: [alarmed] How'd you do that?
Mystery Man: Ask me.
Fred: [angrily into the phone] How did you get inside my house?
Mystery Man: You invited me. It is not my custom to go where I am not wanted.
Fred: [into the phone] Who are you?
[Both Mystery Men laugh]
Mystery Man: [over the phone] Give me back my phone.
[Fred gives the phone back]
Mystery Man: It's been a pleasure talking to you.
View Quote
[Mr. Eddy calls Pete]
Mr. Eddy: I'm really glad to know you're doin okay. You're sure you're okay? Everything alright?
Pete Dayton: [nervous] Yeah?
Mr. Eddy: I'm really glad to know you're doin good, Pete. Hey, I want you to talk to a friend of mine.
[He hands the phone to the Mystery Man]
Mystery Man: We've met before, haven't we?
Pete Dayton: I don't think so. Where is it you think we've met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Pete Dayton: No. No, I don't.
Mystery Man: In the East, the Far East, when a person is sentenced to death, they're sent to a place where they can't escape, never knowing when an executioner may step up behind them, and fire a bullet into the back of their head.
Pete Dayton: [scared] What's going on?
Mystery Man: It's been a pleasure talking to you.
Mr. Eddy: I'm really glad to know you're doin okay. You're sure you're okay? Everything alright?
Pete Dayton: [nervous] Yeah?
Mr. Eddy: I'm really glad to know you're doin good, Pete. Hey, I want you to talk to a friend of mine.
[He hands the phone to the Mystery Man]
Mystery Man: We've met before, haven't we?
Pete Dayton: I don't think so. Where is it you think we've met?
Mystery Man: At your house. Don't you remember?
Pete Dayton: No. No, I don't.
Mystery Man: In the East, the Far East, when a person is sentenced to death, they're sent to a place where they can't escape, never knowing when an executioner may step up behind them, and fire a bullet into the back of their head.
Pete Dayton: [scared] What's going on?
Mystery Man: It's been a pleasure talking to you.
View Quote
[Pete and Alice are having sex]
Pete: I want you!
Alice: [whispers in his ear] You'll never have me.
Fred Madison: Where's Alice?
Mystery Man: Alice who? Her name is Renee. If she's told you her name is Alice, she's lying. [shouts] And your name? What the **** is your name?
Pete: I want you!
Alice: [whispers in his ear] You'll never have me.
Fred Madison: Where's Alice?
Mystery Man: Alice who? Her name is Renee. If she's told you her name is Alice, she's lying. [shouts] And your name? What the **** is your name?
View Quote
[The police speak to Fred on the subject of video cameras]
Fred I like to remember things my own way
Detective What do you mean by that?
Fred How I remember them. Not necessarily the way they happened
Fred I like to remember things my own way
Detective What do you mean by that?
Fred How I remember them. Not necessarily the way they happened
View Quote
[while beating a tailgater] Don't tailgate! Don't you ever tailgate! Do you know how much space is needed to stop a car traveling at 35 miles per hour? Six car lengths! Six ****in' car lengths! That's a hundred and six ****in' feet, mister! If I had to stop suddenly, you woulda hit me! I want you to get a ****in' driver's manual, and I want you to study that mother****er! And I want you to obey the the goddamn rules of the road! Fifty-****in' thousand people were killed on the highways last year 'cause of ****in' assholes like you! Tell me you're gonna get a manual!
View Quote
Boy, that's smooth. Smooth as shit off a duck's ass!
View Quote
Dick Laurent is dead...
View Quote
This is where mechanical excellence and 1,400 horsepower pays off.
View Quote
You and me, mister, we can sure out-ugly them sumbitches, can't we?