The Love Guru quotes
35 total quotesGuru Pitka
Guru Pitka's books
Guru Tugginmypudha
Jacques Grande
Rajneesh
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Coach Punch Cherkov: What's the capital of Thailand?
Guru Pitka: Bangkok.
Coach Punch Cherkov: Exactly. [punches Pitka in the crotch, Pitka hunches down then doubles over covering his crotch]
Guru Pitka: Omar Sharif, my BALLS! OH-HOH! (drops to the ground) My balls!, AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coach Punch Cherkov: Stay down, bitch.
Guru Pitka: Okay.
Guru Pitka: Bangkok.
Coach Punch Cherkov: Exactly. [punches Pitka in the crotch, Pitka hunches down then doubles over covering his crotch]
Guru Pitka: Omar Sharif, my BALLS! OH-HOH! (drops to the ground) My balls!, AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Coach Punch Cherkov: Stay down, bitch.
Guru Pitka: Okay.
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Although I was raised here in India, I was born in America, which is where our journey begins. It's the story of a hockey player, named Darren Roanoke. My most resistant student, who became my greatest teacher... Or some such bullshit, I don't know.
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BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earthâ„¢
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Break the pickle...tickle, tickle.
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Dick Pants... send him in.
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Ding Dong. Did someone order the special Quebec pizza huh? You know, like in the porno.
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Dis is my day of lucky!
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Does it hurt when you do that? Don't do that.
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Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!
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Don't peck my ****ing eyes!
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Go Speedy. Ride like a cowboy.
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Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz.
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Guru Pitka had a farm. EIEIO. And in that farm he did no harm. EIEIO.â„¢
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I don't know what you're talking about. (coughs up feathers)
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I have two tattoos. One of them is DRAMA tattoo and the other is a picture of daffy duck pushing a lawn mower through my pubes.