Mean Girls quotes

View Quote Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It's Halloween.

View Quote Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, nuh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.

View Quote Karen: [after being dumped by Aaron, Regina is crying and holding hands with Gretchen and Karen in her bedroom] Did he say why?
Regina: [sniffling] Somebody told him about Shane Oman.
Gretchen: Who?
Regina: He said some guy on the baseball team.
Karen: Baseball team?
Regina: I gave him EVERYTHING. I was half a virgin when I met him!
Karen: You want to do something fun?
[looks enlightened]
Karen: You want to go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!
[stomps off]

View Quote Karen: [on the phone, thinks she flashed over] Oh my god, she's so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who's this?
Gretchen: Gretchen...
Karen: Right... hold on.
[Karen flashes over]
Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying.

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady: I have to pee.

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: What's up?
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin Gnapoor: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin Gnapoor: I feel that.

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: [rapping] Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me! From my grades to my life you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door and make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, "OHH! KEVIN G!"
[cut off]
Mr. Duvall: Thank you Kevin, that's enough!
Kevin Gnapoor: Happy holidays everybody!

View Quote Kevin Gnapoor: [seeing the Jingle Bell Rock dancers] Damn!
Janis: What?
Kevin Gnapoor: I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?
Aaron Samuels: No.
Kevin Gnapoor: What are marijuana tablets?

View Quote Mr. Duvall: Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. And from young ladies. I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking, "Did someone get shot?" I oughta cancel your Spring Fling.
[all girls shout, no, and whisper among themselves]
Mr. Duvall: Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're going to get it, right now. I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Joan the Secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: So, uh... how was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Mr. Duvall: Yes, you do.

View Quote Mr. Duvall: Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa.
Ms. Norbury: [to black Michigan girl] Welcome!
Michigan Girl: [offended] I'm from Michigan.
Ms. Norbury: Great!

View Quote Mrs. George: I'm a cool mom! Right, Regina?
Regina: [smiling] Please stop talking!

View Quote Mrs. George: [serving the Plastics fruit drinks] Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.

View Quote Ms. Norbury: Well, this has been sufficiently awkward...
Aaron Samuels: Your face smells like peppermint!
Emma Gerber: Watch where you're going fat-ass!
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. Amen.
Jessica Lopez: I don't hate you 'cause you're fat... you're fat 'cause I hate you. [dives backwards in her wheelchair into the crowd of girls]
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't do it in the missionary position, don't do it standing up. Just don't do it. Promise? Okay everybody grab some rubbers!
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Crying Girl: [Crying] I wish we were all happy like we used to be in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.(Damian: She doesn't even go here! Ms. Norbury: Do you even go this school?) No...I just have a lot of feelings...
Amber D'Alessio: [reads Burn Book paper] Made out with a hotdog? Oh my God, that was one time!
Homeschooled Girl: X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P...XYLOCARP
Ms. Norbury: The only guy who calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa.