Multiple Characters quotes
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Ms. Norbury: Well, this has been sufficiently awkward...
Aaron Samuels: Your face smells like peppermint!
Emma Gerber: Watch where you're going fat-ass!
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. Amen.
Jessica Lopez: I don't hate you 'cause you're fat... you're fat 'cause I hate you. [dives backwards in her wheelchair into the crowd of girls]
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't do it in the missionary position, don't do it standing up. Just don't do it. Promise? Okay everybody grab some rubbers!
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Crying Girl: [Crying] I wish we were all happy like we used to be in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.(Damian: She doesn't even go here! Ms. Norbury: Do you even go this school?) No...I just have a lot of feelings...
Amber D'Alessio: [reads Burn Book paper] Made out with a hotdog? Oh my God, that was one time!
Homeschooled Girl: X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P...XYLOCARP
Ms. Norbury: The only guy who calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa.
Aaron Samuels: Your face smells like peppermint!
Emma Gerber: Watch where you're going fat-ass!
Homeschooled Boy: And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals. Amen.
Jessica Lopez: I don't hate you 'cause you're fat... you're fat 'cause I hate you. [dives backwards in her wheelchair into the crowd of girls]
Ms. Norbury: Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?
Coach Carr: Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die. Don't do it in the missionary position, don't do it standing up. Just don't do it. Promise? Okay everybody grab some rubbers!
Michigan Girl: Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Crying Girl: [Crying] I wish we were all happy like we used to be in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake full of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.(Damian: She doesn't even go here! Ms. Norbury: Do you even go this school?) No...I just have a lot of feelings...
Amber D'Alessio: [reads Burn Book paper] Made out with a hotdog? Oh my God, that was one time!
Homeschooled Girl: X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P...XYLOCARP
Ms. Norbury: The only guy who calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa.
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Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell "orange".
[Cady snickers]
Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.
Damian: She asked me how to spell "orange".
[Cady snickers]
Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.
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Karen: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. You could try Sears.
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5. You could try Sears.
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Regina: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?
Shane Oman: You're right, hon.
Regina: I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?
Shane Oman: You're right, hon.
Regina: I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?
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Cady: Hey!
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous. But then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?". So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Janis, I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian". I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so ****ed. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
Regina: Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
Cady: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just came up to me and started talking to me about crack.
Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous. But then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like "Why didn't you call me back?". And I'd be like "Why are you so obsessed with me?". So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like "Janis, I can't invite you because I think you're a lesbian". I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right? She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so ****ed. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
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Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And, uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh, Cady, here you go, one for you... and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh, Cady, here you go, one for you... and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
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Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kälteen bar?
Regina: I'm starving.
Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
Regina: What?
Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
Regina: Motherf - [spits out candy bar and screams]
Regina: I'm starving.
Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
Regina: What?
Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
Regina: Motherf - [spits out candy bar and screams]
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Kevin Gnapoor: What's up?
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin Gnapoor: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin Gnapoor: I feel that.
Janis: Can I help you?
Kevin Gnapoor: You Puerto Rican?
Janis: Lebanese.
Kevin Gnapoor: I feel that.
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Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: [surprised] Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: [surprised] Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
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Mrs. George: [serving the Plastics fruit drinks] Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.
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Regina: Wait, so you've never been to a real school before? [Cady shakes her head] Shut up. Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.
Cady: I didn't say anything.
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Cady: [after humiliating Regina] Wait, Regina, I didn't mean for this to happen!
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Wait, Regina, just listen!
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy- [Regina gets hit by a bus]
Regina: To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care!
Cady: Wait, Regina, just listen!
Regina: No! Do you know what everyone says about you? Hmm? They say that you're a homeschooled jungle freak, that's a less hot version of me! Yeah! So don't try to act so innocent! You can take that fake apology, and shove it right up your hairy- [Regina gets hit by a bus]
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Jason: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr! And so did Sun Jin Dinh!
Trang Pak: [in Vietnamese] You little slut!
Sun Jin Dinh: You're the slut!
[both start swearing in Vietnamese]
Trang Pak: [in Vietnamese] You little slut!
Sun Jin Dinh: You're the slut!
[both start swearing in Vietnamese]
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Joan the Secretary: And finally, the nominees for 'Spring Fling Queen'! Regina George...
[class applauds]
Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Wieners.
[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.
[class applauds]
Regina: [Confused] What is happening to the world?
Janis: Damien!
[Janis shoves Damien]
Damian: I couldn't help myself!
Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!
[class applauds]
Cady: Damien? You put me in there too? That's not part of the plan!
Damian: I didn't put you in there...
Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?
[class applauds]
Joan the Secretary: Gretchen Wieners.
[class applauds and Gretchen responds breathlessly]
Joan the Secretary: Janis Ian.
[class applauds]
Regina: [Confused] What is happening to the world?
Janis: Damien!
[Janis shoves Damien]
Damian: I couldn't help myself!
Joan the Secretary: And finally, Cady Heron!
[class applauds]
Cady: Damien? You put me in there too? That's not part of the plan!
Damian: I didn't put you in there...
Cady: [surprised] You mean I'm really nominated?
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Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.
Cady: Fine.
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.
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Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
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Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.
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[in the Girl's Bathroom]
Short Girl: Hey, get out of here.
Damian: Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!
Short Girl: Hey, get out of here.
Damian: Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!
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Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
Gretchen: Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
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Regina: I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.
Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!
Karen: Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD Karen you're so stupid!
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Gretchen: Wait, Regina! Talk to me!
Regina: No one understands me...
Gretchen: I understand you!
Regina: No one understands me...
Gretchen: I understand you!
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Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything.
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything.
Cady: Well... there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?
Cady: No no no... Anything else?
Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.
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Damian: [reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book] "Too gay to function?"
Janis: That's only okay when I say it!
Janis: That's only okay when I say it!
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Damian: [reading Cady's class schedule] Health, Spanish... you're taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Ew.. why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Ew.. why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
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Regina: Why don't I know you?
Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina: What?
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait... what?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not ****ed. So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up. Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.
Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina: What?
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait... what?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not ****ed. So you've actually never been to a real school before? Shut up. Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.
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Karen: [on the phone, thinks she flashed over] Oh my god, she's so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who's this?
Gretchen: Gretchen...
Karen: Right... hold on.
[Karen flashes over]
Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying.
Gretchen: Who is?
Karen: Who's this?
Gretchen: Gretchen...
Karen: Right... hold on.
[Karen flashes over]
Karen: Oh my god, she's so annoying.
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Gretchen: [reading from the Burn Book] Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch.
Regina: Still true.
Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.
Regina: Still half-true.
Regina: Still true.
Gretchen: Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.
Regina: Still half-true.
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[trying to avoid plans with Regina]
Karen: I can't go out.
[faux coughs softly]
Karen: I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you whore.
Karen: I can't go out.
[faux coughs softly]
Karen: I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you whore.
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Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.
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[Gretchen arrives at Karen's house, dressed in a cat suit with cat ears. Karen's in a skimpy short dress]
Gretchen: What are you supposed to be?
Karen: [Points to her headband] I'm a MOUSE. Duh!
Gretchen: What are you supposed to be?
Karen: [Points to her headband] I'm a MOUSE. Duh!
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Jason: Is your muffin buttered?
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...
Cady: What?
Jason: Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?
Cady: My what?
Regina: Is he bothering you? Jason, why are you such a skeaze?
Jason: I'm just being friendly.
Gretchen: [whispers] You were supposed to call me last night!
Regina: Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?
Cady: No, thank you.
Regina: Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.
Jason: [whispers] Bitch...
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Cady: She took him back. Regina took Aaron back.
Janis: Oh, no, Cady...
Cady: Why would she do that?
Janis: 'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.
Janis: Oh, no, Cady...
Cady: Why would she do that?
Janis: 'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.
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Chip Heron: This is your lunch, OK? I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk; you can ask one of the big kids where to do that.
Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.
Betsy Heron: Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. OK? You ready?
Cady: I think so.
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Cady: And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying] You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.
Janis: What does it say about me?
Cady: [lying] You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.
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Ms. Norbury: [handing Cady her test back] Not your best.
Kevin Gnapoor: Damn, Africa, what happened?
Kevin Gnapoor: Damn, Africa, what happened?
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Cady: [describing Regina] She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.
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Kevin Gnapoor: Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.
Cady: I have to pee.
Cady: I have to pee.
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[Regina, Karen, Gretchen and Cady listening to Katy Rose's Overdrive]
Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?
Regina: [laughs] I love her. She's like a Martian.
Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?
Regina: [laughs] I love her. She's like a Martian.
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Mr. Duvall: Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?
Aaron Samuels: No.
Kevin Gnapoor: What are marijuana tablets?
Aaron Samuels: No.
Kevin Gnapoor: What are marijuana tablets?
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Jason: Did you see a nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!
Student: Yeah, that's true dude...
Student: Yeah, that's true dude...
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Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!
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Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew...
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew...
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Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, nuh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, nuh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.
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[Mr. Duvall is introducing Cady to the class]
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
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Cady: I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
Regina, Gretchen, and Karen: NO! No, no!
Regina: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.
Regina, Gretchen, and Karen: NO! No, no!
Regina: You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.
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Gretchen: Regina, we have to talk to you.
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: Yes.
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Regina: So...?
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.
Regina: [after being ignored] Fine. You can walk home, bitches!
Regina: Is butter a carb?
Cady: Yes.
Gretchen: Regina, you're wearing sweatpants. It's Monday.
Regina: So...?
Karen: So that's against the rules, and you can't sit with us.
Regina: Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
Karen: They were real that day I wore a vest!
Regina: Because that vest was disgusting!
Gretchen: You can't sit with us!
Regina: [pause] These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.
Regina: [after being ignored] Fine. You can walk home, bitches!
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Mr. Duvall: Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior. And from young ladies. I've got parents calling me on the phone and asking, "Did someone get shot?" I oughta cancel your Spring Fling.
[all girls shout, no, and whisper among themselves]
Mr. Duvall: Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're going to get it, right now. I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Joan the Secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.
[all girls shout, no, and whisper among themselves]
Mr. Duvall: Now, I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the DJ, but don't think I'm not taking this book seriously. Coach Carr has fled school property. Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs. Now what the young ladies in this grade need is an attitude makeover. And you're going to get it, right now. I don't care how long it takes. I will keep you here all night.
Joan the Secretary: We can't keep them past four.
Mr. Duvall: I will keep you here until four.
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Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane.
Jessica Lopez: - and he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane.
Jessica Lopez: - and he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
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Mr. Duvall: So, uh... how was your summer?
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Mr. Duvall: Yes, you do.
Ms. Norbury: I got divorced.
Mr. Duvall: Oh. My carpal tunnel came back.
Ms. Norbury: I win.
Mr. Duvall: Yes, you do.
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Kevin Gnapoor: [seeing the Jingle Bell Rock dancers] Damn!
Janis: What?
Kevin Gnapoor: I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.
Janis: What?
Kevin Gnapoor: I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.
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Damian: [to Cady] You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!
Ms. Norbury: Thanks, Damian.
Ms. Norbury: Thanks, Damian.
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Cady: [voiceover] Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute...
Regina: [bursting in] What is this?!
Cady: [voiceover] Actual vomit.
Regina: [bursting in] What is this?!
Cady: [voiceover] Actual vomit.
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Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners. We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damian: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.
Damian: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.
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Cady: Oh, God...
Janis: You dirty little liar!
Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis: Explain what? How you forgot to invite us to your "cool party"?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn't invite you! I had to pretend to be plastic!
Janis: But you're not pretending anymore! You're plastic! Cold, shiny, hard plastic!
Damian: Curfew, 1 a.m., it is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and just sit around and soak up each others' awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! But you try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Janis: What?
Damian [abruptly stops the car]: Oh no she did not!
Janis: See, that's the thing with you Plastics, you think everyone's in love with you, but in realitly, everyone *hates* you, like Aaron Samuels for example! He broke up with Regina and guess what, he still doesn't want you, Cady! So why are you still messing with Regina? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl, you're a bitch! Here, you can have this, it won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!
Janis: You dirty little liar!
Cady: I'm sorry, I can explain.
Janis: Explain what? How you forgot to invite us to your "cool party"?
Damian: Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.
Cady: You know I couldn't invite you! I had to pretend to be plastic!
Janis: But you're not pretending anymore! You're plastic! Cold, shiny, hard plastic!
Damian: Curfew, 1 a.m., it is now 1:10.
Janis: Did you have an awesome time? Did you drink awesome shooters, listen to awesome music, and just sit around and soak up each others' awesomeness?
Cady: You know what? You're the one who made me like this so you could use me for your eighth grade revenge!
Janis: God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean! But you try to act so innocent like, "Oh, I use to live in Africa with all the little birdies, and the little monkeys!"
Cady: You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!
Janis: What?
Damian [abruptly stops the car]: Oh no she did not!
Janis: See, that's the thing with you Plastics, you think everyone's in love with you, but in realitly, everyone *hates* you, like Aaron Samuels for example! He broke up with Regina and guess what, he still doesn't want you, Cady! So why are you still messing with Regina? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl, you're a bitch! Here, you can have this, it won a prize.
[Damian drives away with Janis, yelling out the window]
Damian: And I want my pink shirt back! I WANT MY PINK SHIRT BACK!
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Ms. Norbury: [after implying that an elderly biker is her boyfriend] I'm kidding. Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Damian: My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your nana and I have that in common.
Damian: My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your nana and I have that in common.
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Cady: Hey!... Are we still in a fight?
Janis: Are you still an asshole?
Cady: No. I don't think so.
Janis: Are you still an asshole?
Cady: No. I don't think so.
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Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?
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Bethany Byrd: Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons... but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!
Mr. Duvall: ... yeah, I can't do this.
Mr. Duvall: ... yeah, I can't do this.
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[reading a printed page from the Burn Book]
Damian: Janis Ian - ****.
Janis: Oh, that's original.
[reading about himself]
Damian: "Too gay to function?!"
Janis: Hey, that's only okay when I say it!
Damian: Janis Ian - ****.
Janis: Oh, that's original.
[reading about himself]
Damian: "Too gay to function?!"
Janis: Hey, that's only okay when I say it!
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Kevin Gnapoor: [rapping] Yo Yo Yo! All you sucka MCs ain't got nothin' on me! From my grades to my life you can't touch Kevin G! I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred, but forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the third, sh-sh-sh-shaken not stirred - I'm Kevin Gnapoor! The G's silent when I sneak through your door and make love to your woman on the bathroom floor. I don't play it like Shaggy, you'll know it was me. Cause the next time you see her she'll be like, "OHH! KEVIN G!"
[cut off]
Mr. Duvall: Thank you Kevin, that's enough!
Kevin Gnapoor: Happy holidays everybody!
[cut off]
Mr. Duvall: Thank you Kevin, that's enough!
Kevin Gnapoor: Happy holidays everybody!
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Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, biatch. Love ya, bye! *blows kiss*
Regina: No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, biatch. Love ya, bye! *blows kiss*
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[Deleted scene]
Gretchen: I think tonight might be the night with Jason.
Karen: You've already slept with him.
Gretchen: [pauses] Yeah, but tonight might be the night I enjoy it.
Karen: You've already slept with him.
Gretchen: [pauses] Yeah, but tonight might be the night I enjoy it.
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Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: [whispering] Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks!
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: [whispering] Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks!
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Mr. Duvall: Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa.
Ms. Norbury: [to black Michigan girl] Welcome!
Michigan Girl: [offended] I'm from Michigan.
Ms. Norbury: Great!
Ms. Norbury: [to black Michigan girl] Welcome!
Michigan Girl: [offended] I'm from Michigan.
Ms. Norbury: Great!
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Regina: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?
Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?
Regina: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
Regina: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?
Regina: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.
Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you cross multiply and get the value of X.
Regina: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
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Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.
[Janis sprays deodorant at Cady]
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.
[Janis sprays deodorant at Cady]
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Ms. Norbury: You nervous?
Cady: Yes.
Ms. Norbury: Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
Cady: Yes.
Ms. Norbury: Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
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Crying Girl: [reading from paper] I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
[about to cry]
Damian: [shouting from back] She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
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[deleted scene]
Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".
Regina: What are "frenemies"?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them "frenemies".
Karen: Or "enemends".
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them "fraitors".
Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Karen: [gasps] What if we called them "mean-em-aitors"?
Regina: [scoffs]
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word "friend" in it.
Karen: Oh...
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".
Regina: What are "frenemies"?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them "frenemies".
Karen: Or "enemends".
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them "fraitors".
Regina: [rolls eyes] That is so gay.
Karen: [gasps] What if we called them "mean-em-aitors"?
Regina: [scoffs]
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word "friend" in it.
Karen: Oh...
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Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.
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Karen: [after being dumped by Aaron, Regina is crying and holding hands with Gretchen and Karen in her bedroom] Did he say why?
Regina: [sniffling] Somebody told him about Shane Oman.
Gretchen: Who?
Regina: He said some guy on the baseball team.
Karen: Baseball team?
Regina: I gave him EVERYTHING. I was half a virgin when I met him!
Karen: You want to do something fun?
[looks enlightened]
Karen: You want to go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!
[stomps off]
Regina: [sniffling] Somebody told him about Shane Oman.
Gretchen: Who?
Regina: He said some guy on the baseball team.
Karen: Baseball team?
Regina: I gave him EVERYTHING. I was half a virgin when I met him!
Karen: You want to do something fun?
[looks enlightened]
Karen: You want to go to Taco Bell?
Regina: I CAN'T GO TO TACO BELL, I'M ON AN ALL-CARB DIET. God, Karen, you are SO stupid!
[stomps off]
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Cady: [voiceover] Finally, Girl World was at peace.
Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady: [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
[Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus]
Cady: [voiceover] Just kidding.
Damian: Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
Cady: [voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.
[Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus]
Cady: [voiceover] Just kidding.
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Gretchen: Oh my God, there's Jason! *gasp* And he's with Taylor Wedell!
Karen: I heard they're going out.
Regina: Wait, Jason's not going out with Taylor...no, he cannot blow you off like that. He is such a little skeaze. Give me your phone.
Gretchen: You're not going to call him, right?
Regina: Do you think I'm an idiot?
Regina: [dials phone] Wedell on South Boulevard.
Gretchen: Caller ID!
Regina: Not when you connect from information.
Taylor's Mom: Hello?
Regina: Hi, may I please speak to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor's Mom: She's not in right now, whose calling?
Regina: Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results, if you could have her give me a call as soon as she can, it's urgent, thank you. [Taylor's mom faints] She's not going out with anyone.
Gretchen: Okay, that was so fetch.
Karen: I heard they're going out.
Regina: Wait, Jason's not going out with Taylor...no, he cannot blow you off like that. He is such a little skeaze. Give me your phone.
Gretchen: You're not going to call him, right?
Regina: Do you think I'm an idiot?
Regina: [dials phone] Wedell on South Boulevard.
Gretchen: Caller ID!
Regina: Not when you connect from information.
Taylor's Mom: Hello?
Regina: Hi, may I please speak to Taylor Wedell?
Taylor's Mom: She's not in right now, whose calling?
Regina: Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results, if you could have her give me a call as soon as she can, it's urgent, thank you. [Taylor's mom faints] She's not going out with anyone.
Gretchen: Okay, that was so fetch.
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Dawn Schweitzer: [reading pages from burn book] "Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass." Who would write that?
Other Jock Girl: Who wouldn't write that?
Other Jock Girl: Who wouldn't write that?