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Messenger: [Leonidas has kissed the Persian's messenger on the mouth] What the hell was was that?!
Leonidas: What?
Messenger: You just kissed me!
Leonidas: That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.
Leonidas: What?
Messenger: You just kissed me!
Leonidas: That is how men of Sparta greet one another: high-fives for the women and open-mouthed tongue kisses for the men.
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Narrator: Buttmeister Presents: Real men of genius!
Male singer: Real men of genius!
Narrator: Today, we salute you, Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual. [Leonidas and his men balked at the comment]
Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual!
Narrator: Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape, you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder.
Male singer: Sprayed-on tan! *Leonidas sprays himself*
Narrator: Sure, there's danger: charging rhinos, stampeding elephants, and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad.
Male singer: Ooh!
Narrator: You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever... forever... *Leonidas' army spits out their beer*
Male singer: Take your daily Valtrex! *Leonidas chugs a whole pill bottle of Valtrex
Narrator: Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice, and chop every man you see. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. Let's talk war.
Male singer: Ow! The curling iron is hot!
Narrator: So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas! Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. *Leonidas spits out his beer*
Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! Oooooohhhh, yeah.
Male singer: Real men of genius!
Narrator: Today, we salute you, Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual. [Leonidas and his men balked at the comment]
Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual!
Narrator: Wearing nothing but leather underwear and a cape, you charge your enemy like an oiled-up hairless wonder.
Male singer: Sprayed-on tan! *Leonidas sprays himself*
Narrator: Sure, there's danger: charging rhinos, stampeding elephants, and that cute toga-wearing guy named Chad.
Male singer: Ooh!
Narrator: You only went out on one date, but you'll remember it forever... forever... *Leonidas' army spits out their beer*
Male singer: Take your daily Valtrex! *Leonidas chugs a whole pill bottle of Valtrex
Narrator: Your keen instincts tell you to cut, slice, and chop every man you see. But enough about your career as a hairstylist. Let's talk war.
Male singer: Ow! The curling iron is hot!
Narrator: So this Butt's for you, King Leonidas! Because when the going gets tough, the tough go antiqueing. *Leonidas spits out his beer*
Male singer: Mr. Warmongering Latent Homosexual! Oooooohhhh, yeah.
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Narrator: In the land of Sparta, when babies were born, the elders would inspect them for defects. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected, and if the baby was Vietnamese, Brangelina would get first dibs.
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Ogre Baby: Are you my mama? 'Cause I'm ready to suck on a teat.
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Paris Hilton: [talking on the phone] Hello? Oh, hey Nicole. Nothing, just some guys with swords... not their actual swords. Ugh, you're gross. Yeah, I'm hungry. Did you eat? Oh, you ate an almond? Yeah, you are done eating for the day. Okay, then let's go to Pinkberry. Bye, sexy.
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Penguin: Arhh! My ass hurt! Why're you gonna do me like that? C'mon! I'd hook you up! I was just joking! [gets stabbed by Leonidas' "penguin emergency" spear]
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Prophet: Battle formation he calls it. It looks like backstage of an Elton John concert!
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Prophet: Douchebag says what.
Leonidas: What?
Prophet: Chest waxer says what.
Leonidas: What?
Leonidas: What?
Prophet: Chest waxer says what.
Leonidas: What?
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Ryan Seacrest: I'm sorry, king, but your journey ends here.
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Sanjaya Malakar: [singing, after Leonidas kicks him into the pit of death] I'm not gay!
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Urban Girl: Yo mama's so fat, her pant size is, um... um... Bitch, lose some weight!
Leonidas: Yo mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookiee!
Leonidas: Yo mama's so hairy, the only language she speaks is Wookiee!
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Enough of this superflous videogame violence!
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I tell you, kid, you got balls! I come here with this huge army, we're gonna shish kebab your ass!
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I thought the kick was utterly dreadful. In fact, I've seen better kicks from a geriatric donkey and I am not talking about you Paula.