Night at the Opera, A quotes

View Quote Mrs. Claypool: Mr. Driftwood, three months ago you promised to put me into society. In all that time, you've done nothing but draw a very handsome salary.
Driftwood: You think that's nothing, huh? How many men do you suppose are drawing a handsome salary nowadays? Why, you can count them on the fingers of one hand, my good woman.
Mrs. Claypool: I'm not your good woman!
Driftwood: Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool. I don't care what your past has been. To me, you'll always be my good woman. Because I love you. There. I didn't mean to tell you, but you...you dragged it out of me. I love you.
Mrs. Claypool: It's rather difficult to believe that when I find you dining with another woman.
Driftwood: That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool: Really?
Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
Mrs. Claypool: Mr. Driftwood. I think we'd better keep everything on a business basis.
Driftwood: How do you like that? Every time I get romantic with you, you want to talk business. I don't know, there's something about me that brings out the business in every woman.

View Quote Porter: [After inserting Driftwood's large steamer trunk in his very small room] Is there anything else sir?
Driftwood: Yes, tomorrow you can take the trunk out and I'll go in.

View Quote Rosa: [singing] I'm not alone--
[Then, Riccardo went through the window into Rosa's room singing too] Riccardo: [singing: As long as I find you in every dream.
Rosa: RICCARDO!!
Riccardo: You thought you could come back to America without me, huh?
Rosa: Oh, you fool. You dear, dear fool!
Riccardo: Because I love you, you call me a fool. There may be something in that.
Rosa: What are you doing here?
Riccardo: The easiest thing in the world, an open window, a detective, and here I am.
Rosa: Oh, Riccardo, you shouldn't have! They'll only send you back again! Perhaps, they even put you in jail!
Riccardo: Oh, I don't care, darling. It's worth it.
Rosa: Suppose... Suppose I go to Mr. Gottlieb. Maybe he'd intercede for you.
Riccardo: Gottlieb couldn't do anything. Besides, Lassparri's got to him first.
Rosa: There must be something we can do!
[Lassparri knocking on the door] Rosa: Who is it?
Lassparri: It is I, Rodolfo.
[Rosa hides Riccardo and let's Lassparri in] Rosa: Um... Come in!

View Quote [In Lassparri's dressing room, Tomasso dressed as a clown sprays his perfume in his mouth twice and not making any sound until he heard Lassparri entering his room] Lassparri: What are you doing in my costumes!? [Lassparri wacks Tomasso with a cane] Take it off at once! Do you hear!? Immediately!
[Tomasso took off the clown costume and reveals a sailor costume]
Lassparri: Why you... YOU!! [Lassparri shakes Tomasso and throws him] Take that off.
[Tomasso took off the costume and reveals a dress]
Lassparri: Take off that dress! Do you hear!? You dumb idiot! Do as I say or I'll break your neck!
[Lassparri chasing Tomasso] Lassparri: Do you hear me!? Take off that dress! If I ever get my hands on you, you'll never hear the end of this! If you're not out of my dressing, YOU'RE FIRED!! [Lassparri whipping Tomasso] GET OUT!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! Do you hear me!? OUT YOU GO!! And don't ever come back here again!! [Lassparri throws Tomasso out]
[Rosa was feeling very sorry for Tomasso about what happened] Rosa: Don't you care. You're lucky to be rid of him.
Lassparri: Oh, good evening, Rosa.
Rosa: Good evening, signore.
Lassparri: Tomasso, why don't you come in. I've been waiting for you.
[Lassparri took Tomasso back to his dressing room. And when he's in the room, Lassparri once again whipped him]

View Quote [to Gottlieb] I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first but there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this.

View Quote [to Mrs. Claypool] Don't you see, you'll be a patron of the opera. You'll get into society. Then, you can marry me and they'll kick you out of society, and all you've lost is $200,000.

View Quote Can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?

View Quote Friends...how we happened to come to America is a great story. But I don't tell that. When we first started out, we got-a no idea you give us this-a grand reception. We donna deserve it. And when I say we donna deserve it, believe me, I know what I'm a-talkin' about...So now I tell you how we fly to America. The first time we started, we get-a halfway across when we run out-a gasoline and we gotta go back. Then I take-a twice as much gasoline. This time we-a just about to land - maybe three feet - when whaddya think? We run out-a gasoline again and a-back we go again to get-a more gas. This time I take-a plenty gas. Well, we get-a halfway over when what-a you think-a happened? We forgot-a the aeroplane. So we gotta sit down and we talk it over. Then I get-a a great idea. We no take-a gasoline. We no take-a the aeroplane. We take a steamship. And that, friends, is how we fly across the ocean.

View Quote Ladies and Gentlemen. I guess that takes in most of you. This is the opening of a new opera season, a season made possible by the generous checks of Mrs. Claypool. [Applause] I am sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight, and Mrs. Claypool's checks will probably come back in the morning. Tonight marks the American debut of Rodolfo Lassparri. [Applause] Senor Lassparri comes from a very famous family. His mother was a well known bass singer. And his father was the first man to stuff spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda, thus causing and curing indigestion at the same time. And now on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons and necking in the parlor.