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Prosecutor: How would you like to die pirate? Hanging, firing squad, or a new invention, the guillotine?
Captain Jack Sparrow: [He is to be executed] Guillotine? Sounds French. I love the French! Did you know that they've invented the mayonnaise? How bad could it be? It's the French, eh? [sees what the guillotine actually is] Oh my bad! I change me mind! No, please have mercy for me! I'm a bed wetter! [dragged to base of guillotine] Oh, come on! I mean I have to walk upstairs for this as well for this?
Executioner: Bring the basket!
Captain Jack Sparrow: Basket? Why?!
Executioner: Strap him down!
Captain Jack Sparrow: Here's an idea, how about a good old-fashioned stoning? I'd kill to be stoned right now! Gets the crowd involved, doesn't it? I should like to speak with Victor in disembowelment! I should like to speak with Vic... [gets put in the guillotine and sees a basket full of heads] I'm not the one, who complain, normally, but this basket is full of heads!


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