[ from Teaser Trailer ] Hello, boys and girls, or whatever. My name is Captain Jack Sparrow. Ah, I take it some of you have heard of me. As you may well know, there are times... almost constantly, in fact, where I prefer to look at the world through the bottom of a glass. Rum. Something like this. [takes a shot of rum] You may have also heard whisperings and rumors that Jack Sparrow be recruiting a crew to undertake a voyage to the Fountain of Youth. Not true. Of course not. But even if it weren't not true, you wouldn't be interested in joining me, would you? Eh? No, thought not. I do admit that there'd be varied and substantial dangers along the way including, but not limited to, zombies, cutthroats, mermaids, and a vicious and vivacious Penélope Cruz. Which is why I'm not going. No sir. Impossible to find the place anyway. No one knows where it is. Plus, I'd have to have a bloody map. Or a Bloody Mary. Or both. Which is not a bad idea, in fact, a Bloody Mary. Bloody Marys all around! It's on the Mouse. Barman! [leaves]

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