Pixels (2015) quotes
28 total quotesEddie Plant
Ludlow Lamonsoff
Sam Brenner
The Aliens
Will Cooper
View Quote
Max Headroom: Well, well, well. Look who's here. Q*Bert the traitor, and his cheating friends. Come to beg for a second chance? You're in luck. The boss wants to meet you in person. So come on up. If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors. But if you lose...ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!
View Quote
Jim Porter: [turns off TV, and tosses remote] I don't know what would be worse. Them failing, or them actually pulling this off.
Mrs. Porter: [offscreen] What was that, Jim?
Jim Porter: Can you SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS?!
Mrs. Porter: [offscreen] What was that, Jim?
Jim Porter: Can you SHUT UP FOR FIVE SECONDS?!
View Quote
Sam Brenner: Hello. I am a Nerd from the Nerd Brigade. Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.
Matty: Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
Brenner: If I wanna get paid, yes.
Matty: Isn't it kind of demeaning?
Sam: Only if someone brings that up.
Matty: Okay, I won't bring it up, then.
Sam: Thanks.
Matty: Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
Brenner: If I wanna get paid, yes.
Matty: Isn't it kind of demeaning?
Sam: Only if someone brings that up.
Matty: Okay, I won't bring it up, then.
Sam: Thanks.
View Quote
Sam Brenner: Most violent game I've ever seen. Eh-eh, I don't think it's healthy for ya.
Matty: It's fine, I can handle it.
Sam Brenner: No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to homeboy.
Q*Bert: [shaking in fear] So much blood!
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Hey, you know what'll cheer ya up? A cheese ball.
Q*Bert: Yep.
Sam Brenner: Huh? Come on, suck one up. [Q*Bert sucks up a cheese ball.] Take a handful. [throws a handful of cheese balls in the opposite direction, and Q*Bert sucks them in.] That was smooth. [chuckles] That was very smooth! [to Matty] You know, we should get him some exercise, maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
Q*Bert: [excitedly] Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!
Matty: Okay. How about me and him do that while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
Sam Brenner: Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
Q*Bert: [as his signature swear bubble appears] Bullcrap!
Sam Brenner: [to Q*Bert] You're right, I am. Okay. Here, finish these. [Q*Bert finishes cheese ball container] You gettin' chubby. [Q*Bert chuckles]
Matty: It's fine, I can handle it.
Sam Brenner: No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to homeboy.
Q*Bert: [shaking in fear] So much blood!
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Hey, you know what'll cheer ya up? A cheese ball.
Q*Bert: Yep.
Sam Brenner: Huh? Come on, suck one up. [Q*Bert sucks up a cheese ball.] Take a handful. [throws a handful of cheese balls in the opposite direction, and Q*Bert sucks them in.] That was smooth. [chuckles] That was very smooth! [to Matty] You know, we should get him some exercise, maybe throw him on the trampoline for a little bit?
Q*Bert: [excitedly] Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!
Matty: Okay. How about me and him do that while you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
Sam Brenner: Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
Q*Bert: [as his signature swear bubble appears] Bullcrap!
Sam Brenner: [to Q*Bert] You're right, I am. Okay. Here, finish these. [Q*Bert finishes cheese ball container] You gettin' chubby. [Q*Bert chuckles]
View Quote
Sam: Mrs. Van Patten. All finished up down there. I need you to sign the work order.
Violet: [voice wavering] Okay.
Sam: [confused] Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] Yes.
Sam: Not judging, but what are you doing in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] I'm mostly crying. A little drinking. Probably equally crying and drinking.
Sam: Something I do often also. But why in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] Because I don't want Matty to see me. [she starts crying]
Sam: I'm coming in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. I'm opening the door. [he see Violet on the floor holding a Sippy Cup] [calmly, and concerned] Are you all right?
Violet: [voice breaking] I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet, drinking Chardonnay out of a Sippy Cup, so I guess not.
Sam: [apologetically] Sorry. I withdraw the question. Uh– [he sits on the floor with Violet]
Violet: [sobbing] Oh, God!
Sam: [smiling] Wanna talk about it?
Violet: No. Yes! Yes. [sobbing in Sam Brenner's shoulder] Oh, God!
Violet: [voice wavering] Okay.
Sam: [confused] Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] Yes.
Sam: Not judging, but what are you doing in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] I'm mostly crying. A little drinking. Probably equally crying and drinking.
Sam: Something I do often also. But why in the closet?
Violet: [voice wavering] Because I don't want Matty to see me. [she starts crying]
Sam: I'm coming in the closet, Mrs. Van Patten. I'm opening the door. [he see Violet on the floor holding a Sippy Cup] [calmly, and concerned] Are you all right?
Violet: [voice breaking] I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet, drinking Chardonnay out of a Sippy Cup, so I guess not.
Sam: [apologetically] Sorry. I withdraw the question. Uh– [he sits on the floor with Violet]
Violet: [sobbing] Oh, God!
Sam: [smiling] Wanna talk about it?
Violet: No. Yes! Yes. [sobbing in Sam Brenner's shoulder] Oh, God!
View Quote
Violet: [addressing Sam Brenner] Why are you following me?
Sam: Oh, God.
Violet: I can't believe they even let you in here.
Sam: Right.
Jennifer: Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
Violet: Yeah. See, they need me in the Situation Room, so have fun doing whatever you're doing.
Sam: Mmm.
Jennifer: Mr. Brenner, the president is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
Sam : [falsetto voice, mockingly] Somebody's more important. [moonwalks and addresses a member of the presidential detail while looking at Violet] [normal voice] Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? [he moonwalks into the Oval Office] [to Cooper] Yo, wassup?
Will Cooper: Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
Sam Brenner: You told me to rush right over. What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
Will Cooper: Our Air Force Base in Guam was attacked.
Sam Brenner: By who?
Will Cooper: I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. Come here. Check this out.
Sam Brenner: Me?
Will Cooper: Yes, you. Come here. Listen to this. [he hits the space button on the keyboard, and deep whirring is heard.] Does that sound familiar to you?
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Where do I know that from? Can you freeze it?
Will Cooper: Yeah, hold on. [he pauses the video.]
Sam Brenner: Go in tighter. [Cooper does so.] That can't be real.
Will Cooper: Okay, so, you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
Sam Brenner: What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?
Jennifer: [enters the Oval Office] They're ready for you, Mr. President.
Will Cooper: Great. Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. Listen, do me a favor, Sam. Watch that again, okay? And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
Will Cooper: No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
Sam Brenner: Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. [he waves at the security camera, and sits in the chair anyway.] I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.
Sam: Oh, God.
Violet: I can't believe they even let you in here.
Sam: Right.
Jennifer: Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
Violet: Yeah. See, they need me in the Situation Room, so have fun doing whatever you're doing.
Sam: Mmm.
Jennifer: Mr. Brenner, the president is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
Sam : [falsetto voice, mockingly] Somebody's more important. [moonwalks and addresses a member of the presidential detail while looking at Violet] [normal voice] Freddy, can you keep the riffraff outta here? [he moonwalks into the Oval Office] [to Cooper] Yo, wassup?
Will Cooper: Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
Sam Brenner: You told me to rush right over. What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
Will Cooper: Our Air Force Base in Guam was attacked.
Sam Brenner: By who?
Will Cooper: I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you. Come here. Check this out.
Sam Brenner: Me?
Will Cooper: Yes, you. Come here. Listen to this. [he hits the space button on the keyboard, and deep whirring is heard.] Does that sound familiar to you?
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Where do I know that from? Can you freeze it?
Will Cooper: Yeah, hold on. [he pauses the video.]
Sam Brenner: Go in tighter. [Cooper does so.] That can't be real.
Will Cooper: Okay, so, you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
Sam Brenner: What kind of mushrooms did that guy put on our burgers?
Jennifer: [enters the Oval Office] They're ready for you, Mr. President.
Will Cooper: Great. Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council. Listen, do me a favor, Sam. Watch that again, okay? And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
Sam Brenner: Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
Will Cooper: No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
Sam Brenner: Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't. [he waves at the security camera, and sits in the chair anyway.] I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.
View Quote
Violet: Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac-Man's current coordinates to each of your car's GPSes. Let's locate and eliminate.
Will Cooper: Come on, guys.
[Pac-Man chases man on his bicycle. Ludlow is shocked.]
Sam Brenner: [confused] Pac-Man's a bad guy?
[Iwatani sees Pac-Man eat man's bike.]
Professor Iwatani: Pac-Man is not bad! I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world! They have brainwashed him! Deep down, he's kind, gentle. Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
[Pac-Man stops in front of the Ghost Cars.]
Professor Iwatani: You'll see.
[Iwatani exits his Ghost Car.]
Violet: Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
Sam Brenner: Professor Iwatani, what are you doing?!
Professor Iwatani: I will talk to him. He's my son!
Sam Brenner: No, that's a bad idea.
[Iwatani walks up to Pac-Man.]
Professor Iwatani: [to Pac-Man] Hello, my sweet, little boy. Look how big you've grown. I'm so proud of you.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
Professor Iwatani: But all these destructive things you're doing, it's wrong. I'm your father. I know, you're a good boy.
[Iwatani reaches out. Ludlow nods as if saying, "Go on." Suddenly, Pac-Man bites Iwatani's hand into pixels, and Iwatani screams in pain.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: NOOOOO!!!!
Professor Iwatani: SOMEBODY KILL THIS STUPID BITCH!!!!
Sam Brenner: [shocked and horrified] That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there!
[Pac-Man runs away]
Eddie Plant: All right, losers! It's 3 on 1. Let's hit it!
[the Arcaders start chasing Pac-Man. During the chase, Pac-Man eats a fire truck.]
Sam Brenner: Pac-Man's faster than I remember!
Eddie Plant: Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. We're gonna have to out-maneuver his ass. [he and the Arcaders sharply turn around a car.] Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. [The Arcaders go in different directions.] I'll stay with Big Yellow.
Violet: [sees Eddie's car going another way very quickly.] Whoa! Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
Eddie Plant: 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
[Pac-Man eats an ambulance, but runs into Ludlow Lamonsoff.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Nope!
[Pac-Man runs into Sam Brenner.]
Sam Brenner: What's up?
[Pac-Man tries to run away, but sees Eddie Plant about to kill him.]
Eddie Plant: OH, YEAH!
[Eddie kills Pac-Man]
Will Cooper: Good one, Eddie.
Eddie Plant: Whew.
Sam Brenner: [on radio] One down!
Violet: Two to go! [the Arcaders go another way.] All right, Pac-Man Number Two just regenerated four streets away headed North Bound. Turn east at the next intersection. Brenner, go straight.
Sam Brenner: Got it.
Violet: Ludlow, go left. [Ludlow does so] Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: We got him! He's got nowhere to go!
[Pac-Man eats a Power Pellet, thus turning all the Ghost Cars dark blue.]
Sam Brenner: [shocked] Oh, God. No!
Violet: "Oh, God. No!" what?
Ludlow Lamonsoff: He ate the Power Pellet! Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us! [Pac-Man starts chasing Ludlow] Why me?! [Ludlow runs away] Oh, God, don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Please, please don't eat me. [Pac-Man starts eating Ludlow's Ghost Car, and he screams in terror] GUYS! HELP! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN! [Ludlow barely escapes the Ghost Car before it gets eaten by Pac-Man. Then Pac-Man turns around and continues chasing Ludlow.] Why are you doing this to me? [Ludlow runs for his life.] YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED! YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
Will Cooper: LUDLOW, RUN! PUMP YOUR LEGS! GO, BABY!
[Ludlow continues running from Pac-Man. Suddenly, Eddie appears and kills Pac-Man again.]
Will Cooper: [as the people in the office cheer] ATTABOY, EDDIE!
Eddie Plant: [chuckles] You just got fire-blasted, sucka!
Ludlow Lamonsoff: [makes finger guns at Eddie.] [weakly] Uh-huh. [faints from fear.]
Eddie Plant: [sighs] What?
Violet: How the Hell did he get over there so fast?
Sam Brenner: [to Eddie] Way to go, champ!
Eddie Plant: Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
Sam Brenner: [sarcastically] Yeah. Thrilled. [normally] One more to go and it's Happy Hour.
[Pac-Man Number Three regenerates where Pac-Man Number Two died, and Sam and Eddie chase Pac-Man leaving Ludlow laying in the street.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: So I, I guess they're just leaving me here.
[Pac-Man runs for his life as Sam and Eddie chase him.]
Eddie Plant: Now it's time for the hat trick.
[Eddie accelerates but Pac-Man turns right causing Eddie to fly off of the road, falling into the East River.]
Sam Brenner: Wow!
Violet: Brenner, it's on you. There are still 3 other Power Pellets out there, so stay alert.
Sam Brenner: I got this. If I don't, the world ends. Can't let that happen.
Will Cooper: Come on, Brenner. Come on.
[Sam continues chasing Pac-Man]
Violet: Brenner, he leading you directly towards one of the Power Pellets. Get out of there.
[Pac-Man eats Power Pellet, turning Sam Brenner's Ghost Car dark blue, and starts chasing Sam Brenner]
Sam Brenner: [with a game face] 1.
Violet: [confused] What the Hell is he doing?
Sam Brenner: [backs up] 2.
Violet: [angrily] Damn it, Brenner, I have a son who I'd like to see grow up!
Sam Brenner: 3. You'll see your boy grow up. [Pac-Man chases him into parking garage] 4.
Violet: [alarmed] Brenner, get out; He's going to eat you!
Sam Brenner: [getting chased through the parking garage.] 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. [closes his eyes tight. The Ghost Car and Pac-Man fly through the air in slow-mo, and Pac-Man opens his mouth, about to eat Sam Brenner.] ...10. [barely kills Pac-Man Number Three. He lands on another part of the parking garage, and he breathes heavily, as Pac-Man powers down.]
Will Cooper: [as everyone cheers wildly] OH! OH! YOU DID IT! BRENNER! THAT'S THE ONE, BABY! [he and his wife hug. Two Admiral's shake hands. Violet sees Sam Brenner exit his Ghost Car and chuckles in disbelief.]
[Sam Brenner emerges from the parking garage]
Man in Crowd: He's over here!
[Sam Brenner is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause. Eddie arrives on a fire truck, drenched, and gives the crowd a "Rock on!" hand gesture.]
Woman in Crowd: Fire Blaster, I love you!
[Ludlow appears holding a blanket over something.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Hey, guys! Sorry, coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes, sorry. [to Sam and Eddie] Hey! [whispers] Hey. Check it out. I think I might have found our next trophy.
[uncovers blanket revealing Q*Bert mumbling]
Sam Brenner: [intrigued] It's Q*Bert.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: [excitedly] Yeah, I know! I know.
Eddie Plant: Can I kill it?
Sam Brenner: No! Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. And then we'll kill him.
Q*Bert: Huh?
Sam Brenner: I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him.
Q*Bert: Bye.
Will Cooper: Come on, guys.
[Pac-Man chases man on his bicycle. Ludlow is shocked.]
Sam Brenner: [confused] Pac-Man's a bad guy?
[Iwatani sees Pac-Man eat man's bike.]
Professor Iwatani: Pac-Man is not bad! I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world! They have brainwashed him! Deep down, he's kind, gentle. Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
[Pac-Man stops in front of the Ghost Cars.]
Professor Iwatani: You'll see.
[Iwatani exits his Ghost Car.]
Violet: Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
Sam Brenner: Professor Iwatani, what are you doing?!
Professor Iwatani: I will talk to him. He's my son!
Sam Brenner: No, that's a bad idea.
[Iwatani walks up to Pac-Man.]
Professor Iwatani: [to Pac-Man] Hello, my sweet, little boy. Look how big you've grown. I'm so proud of you.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
Professor Iwatani: But all these destructive things you're doing, it's wrong. I'm your father. I know, you're a good boy.
[Iwatani reaches out. Ludlow nods as if saying, "Go on." Suddenly, Pac-Man bites Iwatani's hand into pixels, and Iwatani screams in pain.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: NOOOOO!!!!
Professor Iwatani: SOMEBODY KILL THIS STUPID BITCH!!!!
Sam Brenner: [shocked and horrified] That was some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff right there!
[Pac-Man runs away]
Eddie Plant: All right, losers! It's 3 on 1. Let's hit it!
[the Arcaders start chasing Pac-Man. During the chase, Pac-Man eats a fire truck.]
Sam Brenner: Pac-Man's faster than I remember!
Eddie Plant: Pac-Man's always been faster than the ghosts. We're gonna have to out-maneuver his ass. [he and the Arcaders sharply turn around a car.] Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off. [The Arcaders go in different directions.] I'll stay with Big Yellow.
Violet: [sees Eddie's car going another way very quickly.] Whoa! Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
Eddie Plant: 'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
[Pac-Man eats an ambulance, but runs into Ludlow Lamonsoff.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Nope!
[Pac-Man runs into Sam Brenner.]
Sam Brenner: What's up?
[Pac-Man tries to run away, but sees Eddie Plant about to kill him.]
Eddie Plant: OH, YEAH!
[Eddie kills Pac-Man]
Will Cooper: Good one, Eddie.
Eddie Plant: Whew.
Sam Brenner: [on radio] One down!
Violet: Two to go! [the Arcaders go another way.] All right, Pac-Man Number Two just regenerated four streets away headed North Bound. Turn east at the next intersection. Brenner, go straight.
Sam Brenner: Got it.
Violet: Ludlow, go left. [Ludlow does so] Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: We got him! He's got nowhere to go!
[Pac-Man eats a Power Pellet, thus turning all the Ghost Cars dark blue.]
Sam Brenner: [shocked] Oh, God. No!
Violet: "Oh, God. No!" what?
Ludlow Lamonsoff: He ate the Power Pellet! Pac-Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us! [Pac-Man starts chasing Ludlow] Why me?! [Ludlow runs away] Oh, God, don't eat me, don't eat me, don't eat me. Please, please don't eat me. [Pac-Man starts eating Ludlow's Ghost Car, and he screams in terror] GUYS! HELP! I'M GONNA DIE A VIRGIN! [Ludlow barely escapes the Ghost Car before it gets eaten by Pac-Man. Then Pac-Man turns around and continues chasing Ludlow.] Why are you doing this to me? [Ludlow runs for his life.] YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED! YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
Will Cooper: LUDLOW, RUN! PUMP YOUR LEGS! GO, BABY!
[Ludlow continues running from Pac-Man. Suddenly, Eddie appears and kills Pac-Man again.]
Will Cooper: [as the people in the office cheer] ATTABOY, EDDIE!
Eddie Plant: [chuckles] You just got fire-blasted, sucka!
Ludlow Lamonsoff: [makes finger guns at Eddie.] [weakly] Uh-huh. [faints from fear.]
Eddie Plant: [sighs] What?
Violet: How the Hell did he get over there so fast?
Sam Brenner: [to Eddie] Way to go, champ!
Eddie Plant: Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
Sam Brenner: [sarcastically] Yeah. Thrilled. [normally] One more to go and it's Happy Hour.
[Pac-Man Number Three regenerates where Pac-Man Number Two died, and Sam and Eddie chase Pac-Man leaving Ludlow laying in the street.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: So I, I guess they're just leaving me here.
[Pac-Man runs for his life as Sam and Eddie chase him.]
Eddie Plant: Now it's time for the hat trick.
[Eddie accelerates but Pac-Man turns right causing Eddie to fly off of the road, falling into the East River.]
Sam Brenner: Wow!
Violet: Brenner, it's on you. There are still 3 other Power Pellets out there, so stay alert.
Sam Brenner: I got this. If I don't, the world ends. Can't let that happen.
Will Cooper: Come on, Brenner. Come on.
[Sam continues chasing Pac-Man]
Violet: Brenner, he leading you directly towards one of the Power Pellets. Get out of there.
[Pac-Man eats Power Pellet, turning Sam Brenner's Ghost Car dark blue, and starts chasing Sam Brenner]
Sam Brenner: [with a game face] 1.
Violet: [confused] What the Hell is he doing?
Sam Brenner: [backs up] 2.
Violet: [angrily] Damn it, Brenner, I have a son who I'd like to see grow up!
Sam Brenner: 3. You'll see your boy grow up. [Pac-Man chases him into parking garage] 4.
Violet: [alarmed] Brenner, get out; He's going to eat you!
Sam Brenner: [getting chased through the parking garage.] 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. [closes his eyes tight. The Ghost Car and Pac-Man fly through the air in slow-mo, and Pac-Man opens his mouth, about to eat Sam Brenner.] ...10. [barely kills Pac-Man Number Three. He lands on another part of the parking garage, and he breathes heavily, as Pac-Man powers down.]
Will Cooper: [as everyone cheers wildly] OH! OH! YOU DID IT! BRENNER! THAT'S THE ONE, BABY! [he and his wife hug. Two Admiral's shake hands. Violet sees Sam Brenner exit his Ghost Car and chuckles in disbelief.]
[Sam Brenner emerges from the parking garage]
Man in Crowd: He's over here!
[Sam Brenner is greeted with thunderous cheers and applause. Eddie arrives on a fire truck, drenched, and gives the crowd a "Rock on!" hand gesture.]
Woman in Crowd: Fire Blaster, I love you!
[Ludlow appears holding a blanket over something.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Hey, guys! Sorry, coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes, sorry. [to Sam and Eddie] Hey! [whispers] Hey. Check it out. I think I might have found our next trophy.
[uncovers blanket revealing Q*Bert mumbling]
Sam Brenner: [intrigued] It's Q*Bert.
Ludlow Lamonsoff: [excitedly] Yeah, I know! I know.
Eddie Plant: Can I kill it?
Sam Brenner: No! Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions. And then we'll kill him.
Q*Bert: Huh?
Sam Brenner: I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him.
Q*Bert: Bye.
View Quote
Will Cooper: [after saving Sam, Violet and Ludlow from being pixelated by Frogger, and takes off Chewbacca mask.] Nobody's better at the Crane Game than me!
Sam Brenner: Chewie?! What's with the disguise, buddy?
Will Cooper: They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue. [reveals his Arcader uniform]
Sam Brenner: Chewie?! What's with the disguise, buddy?
Will Cooper: They tried to take me to some underground bunker, so I went rogue. [reveals his Arcader uniform]
View Quote
[first lines]
13-Year-Old Sam Brenner: Cooper, it's open!
13-Year-Old Will Cooper: [surprised] It's open?!
13-Year-Old Sam: Come on! [Cooper gets on his bike] It's supposed to be awesome.
13-Year-Old Will: Thank you. [takes his sister's quarters]
Will's sister: Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser! MOM!
13-Year-Old Sam Brenner: Cooper, it's open!
13-Year-Old Will Cooper: [surprised] It's open?!
13-Year-Old Sam: Come on! [Cooper gets on his bike] It's supposed to be awesome.
13-Year-Old Will: Thank you. [takes his sister's quarters]
Will's sister: Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser! MOM!
View Quote
[last lines]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Hey, kids. Daddy's home.
[Q*Bert babies are seen being excited to see their daddy, while jumping.]
Ludlow Lamonsoff: Hey, kids. Daddy's home.
[Q*Bert babies are seen being excited to see their daddy, while jumping.]
View Quote
[British kid: Who are you, mister?] Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games. [British kid: Well, thank God for that.]
View Quote
[Sam Brenner: What's your problem, dude?! What's goin' on?!] Whoa! Whoa! No! No, Brenner, no! Brenner, no-no-no-no-no-no, stop! It's me, it's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow. [Brenner: Ludlow Lamonsoff, The Wonder Kid?] Yeah. [Sam: How'd you get into my van?] I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house. She's cute, by the way. [Sam: What?!] Hey! [Sam: What is that?!] This is moisturizer. [Sam: [not buying it] Show me what that is. [sees label] "Chloroform"?] Is that what it says? [Sam: You were gonna drug me?!] Only as a last resort. [Sam: What are you--?!] There was something I had to tell you. [Sam: Why didn't you call me then?] Because the CIA has been tapping into my phones ever since I found out that the Zapruder film had been edited. JFK shot first. [Sam: [happily] Ludlow, it is you!]
View Quote
And for the record, Hal, I happen to know what several of those big words meant. I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to México. Ha-ha-ha, bite on that, Hal! [his reporters start pointing at Hal and chanting "You! You! You!"]
View Quote
And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams.