Ludlow Lamonsoff quotes

View Quote [Sam Brenner: What's your problem, dude?! What's goin' on?!] Whoa! Whoa! No! No, Brenner, no! Brenner, no-no-no-no-no-no, stop! It's me, it's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow. [Brenner: Ludlow Lamonsoff, The Wonder Kid?] Yeah. [Sam: How'd you get into my van?] I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house. She's cute, by the way. [Sam: What?!] Hey! [Sam: What is that?!] This is moisturizer. [Sam: [not buying it] Show me what that is. [sees label] "Chloroform"?] Is that what it says? [Sam: You were gonna drug me?!] Only as a last resort. [Sam: What are you--?!] There was something I had to tell you. [Sam: Why didn't you call me then?] Because the CIA has been tapping into my phones ever since I found out that the Zapruder film had been edited. JFK shot first. [Sam: [happily] Ludlow, it is you!]

View Quote No, no, Grandma. It's-It's funny. I didn't get a chance to, because, um– Oh, what happened? Oh, I remember now. I'M TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM ANNIHILATION! ARE YOU NUTS?! YOU CR*CKER!

View Quote I can't do this, I'm gonna throw up. [Sam: [to Lamonsoff] We know how to do this, they don't. Just act the part. [to SEALs] Hi, guys. How are you? [to Admiral Jim Porter] Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro. [to SEALs] Hey, fellas. Good to, good to see you. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner, and this is the Wonder Kid, also known as--] YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! Looks to me, Brenner. Like someone forgot to send us the best of the best. Oops. And instead, dropped off A BUNCH OF INCONTINENT, ADULT-DIAPER-WEARING, CANDY-ASSED, CRIES-HIMSELF-TO-SLEEP, WOMEN-BABY-MAN-PEOPLE! What am I looking at right now? Are you guys soldiers or the cast of Magic Mike? Are you here to fight or dance naked? From now on, you maggots, you little girl maggots, whatever the Hell the form of female maggot is. [Sam: "Magina"?] You, magina! When you magina poop your pants, you're gonna be thinking of me! In your pants! You know what I mean! [Matty laughs in amusement] Do you feel me? Do you feel me, sailor? You beautiful Nubian man! You gorgeous specimen of what God can make! Do you feel me? [Will Cooper: I think you're about to feel him, Lud.] [scared] I can't move.

View Quote Drinks are on the US government! [soldiers raise their glasses and cheer] Which is covering up the truth about the ancient pyramid underneath the Hoover Dam.

View Quote Brenner's right. I am The Wonder Kid.