Plan 9 from Outer Space quotes

View Quote Danny: [to Jeff] We've got thirty-three passengers back there that have time to be preoccupied. Flying this flybird doesn't give you that opportunity.

View Quote Edith: I can't resist your charm, Danny Boy.

View Quote Lt. Harper: One thing's sure. Inspector Clay is dead. Murdered. And somebody's responsible!

View Quote Tanna: Eros! Eros everything's on fire! Hurry, wake up Eros! Eros, Eros, wake up, wake up! Eros! Eros wake up, Eros! God wake up!

View Quote Col. Edwards: [at Clay's grave] Looks to me like someone had broken out instead of in.
Lt. Harper: I figured that, but that's impossible!
Col. Edwards: I wonder.
Lt. Harper: Look, Colonel, some things just can't happen.
Col. Edwards: Yeah, well after that apparition that was draped across Mr. Trent's patio, I would say we should keep our minds open to anything.
Lt. Harper: Look, Colonel, I'm a policeman. I've got to deal in facts. But, I guess I'll have to go along with you. You know I bet my badge right now we haven't seen the last of those weirdies.

View Quote Col. Edwards: This is the most fantastic story I've ever heard.
Jeff: And every word of it's true, too.
Col. Edwards: That's the fantastic part of it.

View Quote Danny: Hey Edie, how about you and me balling it up in Albuquerque?
Edith: Albuquerque? Have you read that flight schedule, boy?
Danny: What about it?
Edith: We land in Albuquerque at 4 am. That's strictly a nine o'clock town.

View Quote Danny: Holy mackeral.
Operator: Burbank Tower to American Flight 812, are you in trouble?
[Edith enters]
Edith: Trouble?
Danny: Take a look for yourself.
Edith: [seeing a flying saucer] What in the world...
Danny: That's nothing from this world.

View Quote Eros: [about Clay] Stop him Tanna! He's close enough! Turn off your electrode gun! No! No! Stop him Tanna!
Tanna: I can't get it, it's jammed!
Eros: Stop him you fool!
Ruler: Drop the gun to the floor, Tanna! The metal will break contact!
Eros: [Gasping] That was too close!

View Quote Gen. Roberts: Sit down. I understand, Colonel, you've been on tap for many of our saucer attacks.
Col. Edwards: I'm in charge of field operations, Sir.
Gen. Roberts: You believe there are such things as flying saucers, Colonel?
Col. Edwards: Yessir.
Gen. Roberts: You've seen them?
Col. Edwards: Yessir.
Gen. Roberts: You realize there's a government directive stating that there is no such thing as a flying saucer?
Col. Edwards: Yessir.
Gen Roberts: Do you stand by your statement that you've seen flying saucers?
Col. Edwards: Well, uh, yessir.
Gen. Roberts: This could mean a court marshall. Admitting this against direct orders.
Col. Edwards: General Roberts, may I speak freely?
Gen. Roberts: You may.
Col. Edwards: How could I hope to hold down my command if I didn't believe in what I saw and shot at?
Gen. Roberts: I, uh, like you Colonel.
Col. Edwards: Thank you, Sir.
Gen. Roberts: There are flying saucers. There's no doubt they are in our skies. They've been there for some time.
Col. Edwards: What're we going to do about them?
Gen. Roberts: Who knows?

View Quote Gen. Roberts: You ever been to Hollywood?
Col. Edwards: Oh a couple of times. A few years ago.
Gen. Roberts: You're going to be there in the morning. Just a few minutes from Hollywood, in the town of San Fernando, reports have come in of saucers flying so low the exhaust knocked people to the ground. There have even been stated claims of saucer landings. Major Carlson will replace you while you're out there. You're the best man for the job of attempting to contact them. Find them, Colonel. See what in hell it is they want!

View Quote Gravedigger #1: You hear anything?
Gravedigger #2: Thought I did.
Gravedigger #1: Don't like hearing noises, especially when there ain't supposed to be any.
Gravedigger #2: Yeah, kinda spooky-like.
Gravedigger #1: Maybe we're getting old.
Gravedigger #2: Well, whatever it is, it's gone now.
Gravedigger #1: That's the best thing for us too, gone.
Gravedigger #2: Yeah, let's go.

View Quote Jeff: I still think you oughta go in town and stay with your mother until I get back.
Paula: This is our home and nothing's going to take me from it. Besides, most men try and keep their wives from going home to Momma.
Jeff: That's not the point.
Paula: That's all the point there's going to be. Now toddle off and fly your flying machine, Darling. But if you see any more flying saucers, will you tell them to pick another house to buzz? Don't worry about me.
Jeff: Oh you're the only thing I do worry about. Oh forget about the flying saucers. They're up there. But there's something in that cemetery, and that's too close for comfort.
Paula: The saucers are up there. And the cemetery's out there. But I'll be locked up in there. Now off to your wild blue yonders.
Jeff: You promise you'll lock the doors immediately?
Paula: I promise. Besides, I'll be in bed before half an hour is gone, with your pillow beside me.
Jeff: My pillow?
Paula: Well, I have to have something to keep me company while you're away. Sometimes in the night when it does get a little lonely, I reach over and touch it, then it doesn't seem so lonely anymore.
Jeff: A crazy kid. I do love you, Darlin'.

View Quote Jeff: Now you stay close to the officer, Honey.
Paula: I'd feel safer with you.
Jeff: Now the Lieutenant knows best.
Paula: Oh I don't like it, but I guess there isn't much I can do about it.

View Quote Jeff: You fiend!
Eros: I? A fiend? I am a soldier of our planet! I? A fiend? We did not come here as enemies. We came only with friendly intentions. To talk. To ask your aid.
Col. Edwards: Our aid?
Eros: Yes. Your aid for the whole universe. But your governments of Earth refused even to accept our existence. Even though you've seen us, heard our messages, you still refused to accept us.
Col. Edwards: Why is it so important that you want to contact the governments of our Earth?
Eros: Because of death. Because all you of Earth are idiots!
Jeff: Now you just hold on, Buster.
Eros: No, you hold on. First was your firecracker, a harmless explosive. Then your handgrenade. They began to kill your own people a few at a time. Then the bomb, then a larger bomb. Many people are killed at one time. Then your scientists stumbled upon the atom bomb. Split the atom. Then the hydrogen bomb, where you actually explode the air itself. Now you bring the destruction of the entire universe, served by our sun. The only explosion left is the solarbonite.
Col. Edwards: Why there's no such thing.
Eros: Perhaps to you. But we've known it for centuries. Your scientists will stumble upon it as they have all the others. But the juvenile minds you possess will not comprehend its strength, until it's too late.
Col. Edwards: You're way above our heads.
Eros: The solarbonite is a way to explode the actual particles of sunlight.
Col. Edwards: Why, that's impossible.
Eros: Even now, your scientists are working on a way to harness the sun's rays. The rays of sunlight are minute particles. Is it so far from your imagination they cannot do as I have suggested?
Col. Edwards: Why, a particle of sunlight can't even be seen or measured.
Eros: Can you see or measure an atom? Yet you can explode one. A ray of sunlight is made up of many atoms!
Jeff: So what if we do develop this Solanite bomb? We'd be even a stronger nation than now.
Eros: Stronger. You see!? You see!? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Jeff: That's all I'm taking from you! [leaps at Eros]
Lt. Harper: Get back here you jerk! Let him finish.
Eros: It's because of men like you that all must be destroyed. Headstrong, violent! No use of the mind God gave you.
Jeff: You talk of God?
Eros: You also think it impossible that we, too, might think of God? You, who wear the uniform of your country. You see, I wear the uniform of my country. Yes, we've had to use drastic means to get to you, but you left us no alternative. When you have the solarbonite, you have nothing. Nor, does the universe.
Col. Edwards: You speak of solarbonite, but just what is it?
Eros: Take a can of your gasoline. Say this can of gasoline is the sun. Now you spread a thin line of it to a ball, representing the Earth. Now, the gasoline represents the sunlight, the sun particles. Here we saturate the ball with the gasoline, the sunlight. Then we put a flame to the ball. The flame will speedily travel around the Earth, back along the line of gasoline to can, or the sun itself. It will explode this source, and spread to every place that gasoline, or sunlight, touches. Explode the sunlight here, Gentlemen, and you explode the universe. Explode the sunlight here, and a chain reaction will occur, direct to the sun itself. And to all the planets that sunlight touches. To every planet in the universe. This why you must be stopped. This is why any means must be used to stop you. In a friendly manner, or as it seems, you want it.
Lt. Harper: He's mad.
Tanna: Mad? Is it mad that you destroy other people to save yourselves? You have done this. Is it mad that one country must destroy another to save themselves? You have also done this. How then is it mad that one planet must destroy another that threatens the very existence-
Eros: That's enough!! In my land, women are for advancing the race, not for fighting man's battles. Life is not so expansive on my planet. We don't cling to it like you do. Our entire aim is for the development of our planet.