The Sandlot quotes

View Quote Babe Ruth: Remember, kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.

View Quote Ham Porter: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave its butt and tell it to walk backwards.

View Quote Ham Porter: This pop isn't working, Benny! I'm baking like a toasted cheeser - it's so hot here!

View Quote Squints: For-ev-er! For-ev-er! For-ev-er!

View Quote Benny: Have you ever done a paper route?
Smalls: No, but I helped a guy once.

View Quote Benny: What took you guys so long?
Yeah-Yeah: Eh, Squints was pervin' a dish.
Squints: Shut up! I was not!
Yeah-Yeah: Yeah yeah you were! Your tongue was hangin' outta your head, and you was swoonin', 'Oh Wendy Preffercorn, my darling lover-girl, ho!'
Squints: I said "shut up!" Got a lot of things on my mind.

View Quote Benny: You got a fireplace man?
Smalls: Yeah why.
Benny: Throw that hat in it.

View Quote Ham Porter: Come on batter this is a short game and i have to get home for lunch.
Ham Porter: Is that your sister out in left field? Naked? She's naked, you know.
Phillips: [distracted by Ham, he swings and misses] Shut up, Porter!
Ham Porter: Hey, hey, hey. I'm just trying to have a friendly conversation, come on. [two seconds later] Think she'll go out with me?

View Quote Ham Porter: Hey, you want a s'more?
Smalls: Some more of what?
Ham Porter: No, do you want a s'more?
Smalls: I haven't had anything yet... so how can I have some more of nothing?
Ham Porter: You're killing me, Smalls! These are s'mores stuff. Okay, pay attention. First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the mallow. When the mallow's flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then you cover it with the other end. Then, you stuff.

View Quote Ham Porter: Yes! That's how you do it, Smalls.
Benny: Ham, you idiot. Now we can't play no more.
Kid: Great, you idiot.
Ham Porter: It was a heater.
Kid#2: Stupid idiot!

View Quote Phillips: It's easy when you play with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?
Phillips: I said, you shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter: You play ball like a girl!
[entire group stands in shocked silence] Phillips: What did you say?
Ham Porter: You heard me.
Phillips: Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.
Ham Porter: Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!
Kids: Yeah!

View Quote Smalls: Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi.
Ham Porter': That wimpy deer?

View Quote Squints: About time, Benny, my clothes are goin' outa style.
Sandlot kids: They already are, Squints.
Squints: Shut up!

View Quote Squints:[talking about Smalls] Come on, Benny man. The kid is an L-7 weenie!
Yeah-Yeah: Yeah yeah, Oscar Meyer even, foot-long Dodger Dog! A weenie!
Benny: What are you talking about, Yeah-Yeah? You run like a duck!
Yeah-Yeah: Kay kay, but I'm --
Benny: Part of the game, right?
Yeah-yeah: Mmm, yeah!
Benny: Then how come he don't get to be?
Bertram: Cause he's a geek,/ man.
Kenny: Yeah, man, he ain't game.
Benny:[shaking his head] Man, base up you blockheads.

View Quote Timmy:[concerning the retrieval of the lost baseball] You don't.
Tommy: You don't.
Timmy: It's history.
Tommy: It's history.
Timmy: Kiss it goodbye.
Tommy: Kiss it--
Timmy: Shut up, Tommy.