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[After getting kicked between his legs by Velma] Right in the roundtables!
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[everyone starts cheering]
Male Reporter: Mystery Inc., Do you know the identity of the Evil Masked Figure behind at all?
Velma: Well, if our hunch is correct, the Evil Masked Figure is... [Daphne and Velma takes off the mask]
Evil Masked Figure/Heather: NO! [everyone gasping]
Daphne: Heather Jasper-Howe.
Scooby: Uh-huh. Huh? [Jeremiah and Patrick arrive]
Female Reporter 1: But she was at the museum when the Masked Figure was on the roof.
Daphne: [to Heather] You almost had me there, didn't you? Lucky for her, she had an assistant helping her along with her evil plans. [points at Ned] NED. [going to a flashback where Ned puts on Heather's costume] When I realized she was the Evil Masked Figure he quickly changed into her costume.
Female Reporter 2: But why did she do it?
Velma: Because, Heather-Jasper Howe is actually... [Velma peels her face off turns out it's their past foe and everyone gasps louder] ...Dr. Jonathan Jacobo. [Daphne and Shaggy gasps and shocking Jeremiah Wickles] The original Pterodactyl Ghost.
Female Reporter 3: But how do you know this?
Velma: [showing the picture] A photo. Taken of Jacobo in front of the Coolsonian. Jacobo supposedly died a year before construction even began.
Shaggy: So, Jacobo survived that fall off the prison wall.
Scooby: Yeah.
Fred: He also adapted the false Heather Jasper-Howe persona to turn the press against us!
Daphne: Then he framed poor hideous old man Wickles by putting that book and the Black Knight Ghost in his mansion.
Jeremiah Wickles: As if you getting the lead in My Fair Lady wasn't enough!
Jonathan Jacobo: I was an excellent Eliza! You were to acty!
Jeremiah Wickles: AND STEALING MY TATER TOTS!!!!!
Jonathan Jacobo: You kept saying you felt puffy!
Fred: And the real identity of Ned is... [rips his hair realizing it's himself]
Ned: OW!
Fred: NED!
Scooby: Huh?
Jonathan Jacobo: I would've gotten away with it. If it weren't for those meddling kids and the dog, two!!!!!!!!!!!! [everyone cheers Mystery Inc.]
Ned: You were a dude this whole time?
Jonathan Jacobo: Of course, dummkopf.
Ned: But, we cuddled.
Velma: Well, if our hunch is correct, the Evil Masked Figure is... [Daphne and Velma takes off the mask]
Evil Masked Figure/Heather: NO! [everyone gasping]
Daphne: Heather Jasper-Howe.
Scooby: Uh-huh. Huh? [Jeremiah and Patrick arrive]
Female Reporter 1: But she was at the museum when the Masked Figure was on the roof.
Daphne: [to Heather] You almost had me there, didn't you? Lucky for her, she had an assistant helping her along with her evil plans. [points at Ned] NED. [going to a flashback where Ned puts on Heather's costume] When I realized she was the Evil Masked Figure he quickly changed into her costume.
Female Reporter 2: But why did she do it?
Velma: Because, Heather-Jasper Howe is actually... [Velma peels her face off turns out it's their past foe and everyone gasps louder] ...Dr. Jonathan Jacobo. [Daphne and Shaggy gasps and shocking Jeremiah Wickles] The original Pterodactyl Ghost.
Female Reporter 3: But how do you know this?
Velma: [showing the picture] A photo. Taken of Jacobo in front of the Coolsonian. Jacobo supposedly died a year before construction even began.
Shaggy: So, Jacobo survived that fall off the prison wall.
Scooby: Yeah.
Fred: He also adapted the false Heather Jasper-Howe persona to turn the press against us!
Daphne: Then he framed poor hideous old man Wickles by putting that book and the Black Knight Ghost in his mansion.
Jeremiah Wickles: As if you getting the lead in My Fair Lady wasn't enough!
Jonathan Jacobo: I was an excellent Eliza! You were to acty!
Jeremiah Wickles: AND STEALING MY TATER TOTS!!!!!
Jonathan Jacobo: You kept saying you felt puffy!
Fred: And the real identity of Ned is... [rips his hair realizing it's himself]
Ned: OW!
Fred: NED!
Scooby: Huh?
Jonathan Jacobo: I would've gotten away with it. If it weren't for those meddling kids and the dog, two!!!!!!!!!!!! [everyone cheers Mystery Inc.]
Ned: You were a dude this whole time?
Jonathan Jacobo: Of course, dummkopf.
Ned: But, we cuddled.
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[to Daphne] Darn it! Thanks a lot! The scoop of the night! Gone! Can't you do anything right? Ned, get your camera and follow me!
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[to Daphne] Oh, now I see what you do for the gang. You're in charge of incoherent babbling.
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[to Daphne] Who are you kidding? Don't think I don't know your game. What do you do for the gang, really? Velma's the smart one. Fred's the leader. All you are is a pretty little face.
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[to Jeremiah Wickles] I was an excellent Eliza! You were too acty!
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[to Jeremiah Wickles] You kept saying you felt puffy!
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[to Ned] Of course, dummkopf.
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[to Scooby-Doo] Soon, your friends will be dead and Coolsville destroyed. My revenge will be final and there's nothing you can do about it!
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[to the monsters] Stop them! Destroy the city if you have to, but bring me that control panel! With it, they can destroy everything I set out to do.
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[When Daphne stabs him in the stomach with the butt of an axe] That tickles.
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All Fred Jones had to say was: (Fred: I think Coolsville sucks!) [Fred bangs his head on the steering wheel] In light of the city's recent chaos... Jones' response was disheartening to many fans who have supported Mystery Inc. over the years. Perhaps, it's time for the crime solving gang to ship up or shape out. This is Heather Jasper-Howe for Investigative Probe reporting.
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Blackout, blackout!
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Come on, let's solve a mystery.
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Dead end!