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Charlie: Alright, I hope no-one minds, but I'm putting on Stab 7! No-one cancels my movie night!
Jill: [eating popcorn] Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't want to watch that after what happened with Olivia!
Kirby: Oh, come on! It was her favorite!
Charlie: Wow, Kirby. You've got some real classics here!
Kirby: Yep. I could trivia your ass under the table, Cinema Boy!
Charlie: Alright... Who played Leatherface first?
Kirby: [swallows her alcohol] Gunnar Hansen!
Charlie: Wow, did you feel that charge between us just then?
Kirby: Oh, that was me! I have powers!
Jill: [eating popcorn] Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't want to watch that after what happened with Olivia!
Kirby: Oh, come on! It was her favorite!
Charlie: Wow, Kirby. You've got some real classics here!
Kirby: Yep. I could trivia your ass under the table, Cinema Boy!
Charlie: Alright... Who played Leatherface first?
Kirby: [swallows her alcohol] Gunnar Hansen!
Charlie: Wow, did you feel that charge between us just then?
Kirby: Oh, that was me! I have powers!
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Jill: I think Charlie likes you!
Kirby: And I like him - To tease, to torment, to make him squirm!
Jill: Trust me, you could do a lot worse.
Kirby: [fakes shock] Hi, Trevor! [nervously] Bye, Trevor!
[Jill stares at Kirby in surprise]
Kirby: And I like him - To tease, to torment, to make him squirm!
Jill: Trust me, you could do a lot worse.
Kirby: [fakes shock] Hi, Trevor! [nervously] Bye, Trevor!
[Jill stares at Kirby in surprise]
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Kirby: Before you get in the car you have to promise not to kill me!
Jill: Why? What'd you do?
Kirby: Trevor called me last night!
Jill: Why is he calling you?
Kirby Reed: Because you won't take his calls and he knows I have your ear!
Jill: [sees Olivia coming] Can we not talk about this right now?
[Olivia gets in the car]
Olivia: So Trevor called me last night!
Jill: He called you, too?
Olivia: He thinks that your cousin coming to town is making you forget how sorry he really is!
Jill: [sarcastically] Well, that's inventive!
Jill: Why? What'd you do?
Kirby: Trevor called me last night!
Jill: Why is he calling you?
Kirby Reed: Because you won't take his calls and he knows I have your ear!
Jill: [sees Olivia coming] Can we not talk about this right now?
[Olivia gets in the car]
Olivia: So Trevor called me last night!
Jill: He called you, too?
Olivia: He thinks that your cousin coming to town is making you forget how sorry he really is!
Jill: [sarcastically] Well, that's inventive!
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Rebecca: This is Rebecca!
Ghostface: Sidney Prescott, please.
Rebecca: I'm handling Ms. Prescott's calls and appearances. May I take a message?
Ghostface: You are the message. [Rebecca looks back] Are you writing this down?
Rebecca: Yes, I am. It's kinda hard to hear you. I'm in the hospital with Sidney, if you can hang on this one second-
Ghostface: I've got time. It's you that doesn't. You know, Rebecca, it doesn't sound to me like you're in the hospital. Sounds like you're in a parking garage. A dark and deserted parking garage. But if you wanna be in the hospital, I'd be happy to put you there - in the ****ing morgue!
Ghostface: Sidney Prescott, please.
Rebecca: I'm handling Ms. Prescott's calls and appearances. May I take a message?
Ghostface: You are the message. [Rebecca looks back] Are you writing this down?
Rebecca: Yes, I am. It's kinda hard to hear you. I'm in the hospital with Sidney, if you can hang on this one second-
Ghostface: I've got time. It's you that doesn't. You know, Rebecca, it doesn't sound to me like you're in the hospital. Sounds like you're in a parking garage. A dark and deserted parking garage. But if you wanna be in the hospital, I'd be happy to put you there - in the ****ing morgue!
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Robbie: [while recording the girls] I'm here with the beautiful Olivia "Don't-Look-At-My-Tits-I-Have-A-Mind" Morris! And my annual Woodsboro question "What's your favorite scary movie"
Olivia: [sarcastically] That's original!
Jill: Where did you hear that anyway?
Charlie: It's a line from Stab 1!
Robbie: Um...You're a genre nut, Kirby! What's your favorite scary movie?
Kirby: [sarcastically] Bambi. [pushes Robbie out of the way] Dork. [flirting with Charlie] What?
Charlie: That's funny, Kirby!
Robbie: Totally unaware you exist!
Charlie: Yeah! [after Robbie has walked off] Asshole!
Olivia: [sarcastically] That's original!
Jill: Where did you hear that anyway?
Charlie: It's a line from Stab 1!
Robbie: Um...You're a genre nut, Kirby! What's your favorite scary movie?
Kirby: [sarcastically] Bambi. [pushes Robbie out of the way] Dork. [flirting with Charlie] What?
Charlie: That's funny, Kirby!
Robbie: Totally unaware you exist!
Charlie: Yeah! [after Robbie has walked off] Asshole!
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Sidney: How could you do this?
Jill: Do you know what I was like growing up in this family? Related to you? I mean, all I ever heard was: "Sidney this!", and "Sidney that!", and "Sidney, Sidney, Sidney!"! You were always so ****ing special! Well, now I'm special!
Sidney: You'll slip, they always do.
Jill: Do you know what I was like growing up in this family? Related to you? I mean, all I ever heard was: "Sidney this!", and "Sidney that!", and "Sidney, Sidney, Sidney!"! You were always so ****ing special! Well, now I'm special!
Sidney: You'll slip, they always do.
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Sidney: This... You film your entire high school experience, and, what, post it on the 'net?
Robbie: Everybody will be doing it some day.
Charlie: It's kind of the one component the killer is missing.
Gale: Wait, what do you mean?
Charlie: Well, if you wanna be the new, new version, the killer should be filming the murders.
Robbie: Yeah, it's like the natural next step in the psycho-slasher innovation. I mean, you film them all real-time, and before you get caught, you upload them into cyberspace.
Charlie: Making your art as immortal as you. [speaking the same time as Robbie] Not to implicate him.
Robbie: [speaking same time as Charlie] Not to implicate me.
Sidney: So, who do you think is doing the murders?
Charlie: Well, it's a Stab fanatic, clearly. Working on less of a Shrequel and more of a Screamake.
Robbie Mercer: Copyright terms, by the way.
Charlie: 'Cause all there are now are remakes. Only horror studios green-light. I mean, there are still rules, but the rules have changed. The unexpected is the new cliche.
Robbie: Yeah, you gotta have an opening sequence that blows the doors off - gallop some music video direction and the kill's gotta be way more extreme.
Charlie: Modern audiences get sappy to the rules of the original. So, the reverse has become the new standard. In fact, the only sure-fire way to survive a modern horror movie, you pretty much gotta be gay.
[pause]
Gale: So, why are you so sure that the killer is working by the rules of a horror remake?
Robbie: Well, the original Stab structure is pretty apparent.
Charlie: Yeah, two kids killed in a house when their parents are away?
Robbie: And, then the school's 'hot chick' savage beyond recognition.
Charlie: We all know where it goes from there...?
Sidney: A party.
Charlie: Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
Robbie: Fingers crossed on some nudity for a change...
Robbie: Everybody will be doing it some day.
Charlie: It's kind of the one component the killer is missing.
Gale: Wait, what do you mean?
Charlie: Well, if you wanna be the new, new version, the killer should be filming the murders.
Robbie: Yeah, it's like the natural next step in the psycho-slasher innovation. I mean, you film them all real-time, and before you get caught, you upload them into cyberspace.
Charlie: Making your art as immortal as you. [speaking the same time as Robbie] Not to implicate him.
Robbie: [speaking same time as Charlie] Not to implicate me.
Sidney: So, who do you think is doing the murders?
Charlie: Well, it's a Stab fanatic, clearly. Working on less of a Shrequel and more of a Screamake.
Robbie Mercer: Copyright terms, by the way.
Charlie: 'Cause all there are now are remakes. Only horror studios green-light. I mean, there are still rules, but the rules have changed. The unexpected is the new cliche.
Robbie: Yeah, you gotta have an opening sequence that blows the doors off - gallop some music video direction and the kill's gotta be way more extreme.
Charlie: Modern audiences get sappy to the rules of the original. So, the reverse has become the new standard. In fact, the only sure-fire way to survive a modern horror movie, you pretty much gotta be gay.
[pause]
Gale: So, why are you so sure that the killer is working by the rules of a horror remake?
Robbie: Well, the original Stab structure is pretty apparent.
Charlie: Yeah, two kids killed in a house when their parents are away?
Robbie: And, then the school's 'hot chick' savage beyond recognition.
Charlie: We all know where it goes from there...?
Sidney: A party.
Charlie: Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
Robbie: Fingers crossed on some nudity for a change...
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Trevor: [interrupting Kirby and Charlie's kiss] Hey, have you seen Jill?
Kirby: [slumps back against the chair] Yes, Trevor! She's upstairs! Thank god you're here to protect her, when you can't even find her!
Trevor: [watching the TV] Oh, I love this part! Just when they think they're safe...Ghostface comes in, and BAM! [Charlie storms off and Kirby glares at Trevor] Did I interrupt something?
Kirby: Who invited you, Trevor?!
Trevor: Okay! Sheesh! Obviously, it wasn't you. [leaves the living room] I'm going to find Jill!
Kirby: Get out of my house!
Kirby: [slumps back against the chair] Yes, Trevor! She's upstairs! Thank god you're here to protect her, when you can't even find her!
Trevor: [watching the TV] Oh, I love this part! Just when they think they're safe...Ghostface comes in, and BAM! [Charlie storms off and Kirby glares at Trevor] Did I interrupt something?
Kirby: Who invited you, Trevor?!
Trevor: Okay! Sheesh! Obviously, it wasn't you. [leaves the living room] I'm going to find Jill!
Kirby: Get out of my house!
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[A group of news reporters are reporting outside the hospital.]
News Reporter #1: We're live at Woodsboro Community Hospital awaiting for the public statement for Jill Roberts, survivor...
News Reporter #2: A survivor, what is now being called the Woodsboro Massacre Reboot".
News Reporter #3: Jill Roberts is her name, who'll soon the whole world will now know.
News Reporter #4: ...who single-handedly put a stop in those 21st century Woodsboro killing spree.
News Reporter #5: Jill Roberts of Woodsboro, a girl who's lifted all our spirits tonight. An American hero, right out of the movies.
News Reporter #1: We're live at Woodsboro Community Hospital awaiting for the public statement for Jill Roberts, survivor...
News Reporter #2: A survivor, what is now being called the Woodsboro Massacre Reboot".
News Reporter #3: Jill Roberts is her name, who'll soon the whole world will now know.
News Reporter #4: ...who single-handedly put a stop in those 21st century Woodsboro killing spree.
News Reporter #5: Jill Roberts of Woodsboro, a girl who's lifted all our spirits tonight. An American hero, right out of the movies.
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[After Jill kills Charlie.]
Sidney: Even your friends?
Jill: My friends? What world are you living in?! I don't need friends, I need fans! Don't you get it? This has never been about killing you, it's about... becoming you! I mean, for ****'s sake, my own mother had to die - no great loss there - so I could stay true to the original! It's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane! You had your fifteen minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around; We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people get famous anymore? You don't have to achieve anything! You just got to have ****ed up shit happen to you. So, you do have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There's only room for one lead, and let's face it; Your ingenue days, they're over. [stabs Sidney in the stomach.] Don't tell me you didn't know this day would come.
[Sidney collapses on the floor, as Jill creates the fake scene.]
Sidney: Even your friends?
Jill: My friends? What world are you living in?! I don't need friends, I need fans! Don't you get it? This has never been about killing you, it's about... becoming you! I mean, for ****'s sake, my own mother had to die - no great loss there - so I could stay true to the original! It's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane! You had your fifteen minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around; We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people get famous anymore? You don't have to achieve anything! You just got to have ****ed up shit happen to you. So, you do have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There's only room for one lead, and let's face it; Your ingenue days, they're over. [stabs Sidney in the stomach.] Don't tell me you didn't know this day would come.
[Sidney collapses on the floor, as Jill creates the fake scene.]
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[After Jill knocks Dewey unconscious, she gets his gun and goes to Sidney.]
Jill: Is this how it's gonna be, Sid? The ending of the movie was supposed to be at the house! I mean, this is just... [through clenched teeth] Silly!
Sidney: Consider this an alternative ending. You're never gonna get away with this, Jill.
Jill: Of course I will!
Gale: Dewey! :[enters Sidney's room, Jill aims her gun at her] Sid... [turns to Jill.] Easy... Okay, okay... What about the book?
Jill: Looks like I'll just have to write it myself! [Judy appears and saves Gale through the hospital bed. Jill shoots, but misses] Goddammit! [Gale and Judy hide under the bed.] Don't even think about shooting, [aims the gun at Dewey.] or I'll blow Dewey's head off. [Gale and Judy turn to each other] What, you think I won't do it?! Give me your gun!
Gale: [to Judy] Do it.
[Judy slowly rises. Sidney gets up and sees this. Judy slowly raises her hands.]
Jill: Just had to be the hero, huh? [aims the gun at Judy.] Give me your gun. [Judy doesn't respond.] What are you, deaf?! Give me! Your gun! [Judy tosses the gun to Jill, who kicks it away. Sidney reaches for the defibrilator] Now get up. [Judy does so] And keep your hands over your head.
Deputy Hicks: Don't do anything stu---
[Jill shoots her in the chest.]
Jill: Don't ****ing tell me what to do!
Gale: Oh, God...
[Jill aims the gun at Gale.]
Jill: Now get up, bitch!
Gale: Okay.
Jill: Get up! [Gale looks at her] Now!
Gale: Okay.
[Gale slowly gets up and checks Sidney.]
Jill: Come on! [Gale checks Dewey, who regains consciousness.] Let's go. Get your skinny ass out here!
Gale: Okay.
[Sidney turns on the defibrillator.]
Jill: I'm gonna enjoy blowing your head off.
Gale: Okay, but... Can I just have one final word?
Jill: [scoffs] What? "Please?"
[Sidney grabs two defibrillator pads.]
Gale: No... [The defibrillator charges to 360 joules.] Clear.
Jill: [confused] Clear?
[Sidney appears behind Jill, with the defibrillator]
Sidney: Clear. [electrocutes Jill, until she collapses on the floor.] You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill: "Don't **** with the original".
[Gale goes to Dewey.]
Gale: Oh, my God, Dewey!
Sheriff Riley: What did I get hit with?
Sidney: Don’t ask.
Gale: [to Sidney] Are you okay?
[Sidney nods]
Jill: Is this how it's gonna be, Sid? The ending of the movie was supposed to be at the house! I mean, this is just... [through clenched teeth] Silly!
Sidney: Consider this an alternative ending. You're never gonna get away with this, Jill.
Jill: Of course I will!
Gale: Dewey! :[enters Sidney's room, Jill aims her gun at her] Sid... [turns to Jill.] Easy... Okay, okay... What about the book?
Jill: Looks like I'll just have to write it myself! [Judy appears and saves Gale through the hospital bed. Jill shoots, but misses] Goddammit! [Gale and Judy hide under the bed.] Don't even think about shooting, [aims the gun at Dewey.] or I'll blow Dewey's head off. [Gale and Judy turn to each other] What, you think I won't do it?! Give me your gun!
Gale: [to Judy] Do it.
[Judy slowly rises. Sidney gets up and sees this. Judy slowly raises her hands.]
Jill: Just had to be the hero, huh? [aims the gun at Judy.] Give me your gun. [Judy doesn't respond.] What are you, deaf?! Give me! Your gun! [Judy tosses the gun to Jill, who kicks it away. Sidney reaches for the defibrilator] Now get up. [Judy does so] And keep your hands over your head.
Deputy Hicks: Don't do anything stu---
[Jill shoots her in the chest.]
Jill: Don't ****ing tell me what to do!
Gale: Oh, God...
[Jill aims the gun at Gale.]
Jill: Now get up, bitch!
Gale: Okay.
Jill: Get up! [Gale looks at her] Now!
Gale: Okay.
[Gale slowly gets up and checks Sidney.]
Jill: Come on! [Gale checks Dewey, who regains consciousness.] Let's go. Get your skinny ass out here!
Gale: Okay.
[Sidney turns on the defibrillator.]
Jill: I'm gonna enjoy blowing your head off.
Gale: Okay, but... Can I just have one final word?
Jill: [scoffs] What? "Please?"
[Sidney grabs two defibrillator pads.]
Gale: No... [The defibrillator charges to 360 joules.] Clear.
Jill: [confused] Clear?
[Sidney appears behind Jill, with the defibrillator]
Sidney: Clear. [electrocutes Jill, until she collapses on the floor.] You forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill: "Don't **** with the original".
[Gale goes to Dewey.]
Gale: Oh, my God, Dewey!
Sheriff Riley: What did I get hit with?
Sidney: Don’t ask.
Gale: [to Sidney] Are you okay?
[Sidney nods]
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[After Robbie is being stabbed in the shoulder, Ghostface is about to strike the final blow]
Robbie: Wait, no. No you can't... you can't... those rules... I-I'm gay! I'm gay! [Ghostface pauses and tilts his head] If... if that helps?
[Ghostface continues stabbing him]
Robbie: Wait, no. No you can't... you can't... those rules... I-I'm gay! I'm gay! [Ghostface pauses and tilts his head] If... if that helps?
[Ghostface continues stabbing him]
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[After Sidney finds Olivia dead, she answers her phone]
Sidney: What?
Ghostface: Welcome home, Sidney. Preview of coming events.
Sidney: Why don't you come for me, you got the balls for that?!
Ghostface: Oh, poor Sidney. You think this is all about you? You think you're still the star?
Sidney: This isn't a ****ing movie!
Ghostface: It will be.
Sidney: These are innocent people!
Ghostface: Spare me the lecture! You've done very well by all this bloodshed, haven't you? Well, how about the town you left behind? I've got plans for you. I'm gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face. You'll die when I want you to, Sidney, not a moment before. Until then, you're going to suffer!
[The killer hangs up.]
Jill: Sidney!
Sidney: Jill?
[Sidney rushes to Jill]
Sidney: Stay right there.
Jill: Is she-?
Sidney: Do not look, okay?
Jill: She said you were the angel of death.
Sidney: What?
Ghostface: Welcome home, Sidney. Preview of coming events.
Sidney: Why don't you come for me, you got the balls for that?!
Ghostface: Oh, poor Sidney. You think this is all about you? You think you're still the star?
Sidney: This isn't a ****ing movie!
Ghostface: It will be.
Sidney: These are innocent people!
Ghostface: Spare me the lecture! You've done very well by all this bloodshed, haven't you? Well, how about the town you left behind? I've got plans for you. I'm gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face. You'll die when I want you to, Sidney, not a moment before. Until then, you're going to suffer!
[The killer hangs up.]
Jill: Sidney!
Sidney: Jill?
[Sidney rushes to Jill]
Sidney: Stay right there.
Jill: Is she-?
Sidney: Do not look, okay?
Jill: She said you were the angel of death.
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[Dewey enters Gale's room.]
Gale: Is she gonna be okay?
Sheriff Riley: Yeah. She's a strong kid.
Gale: She's gonna have to be.
Sheriff Riley: She has the few okay? She thinks you guys should write the book together with your matching moves.
Gale: [surprised] Why, she was stabbed in the shoulder? [Dewey nods.] How does she know... I was too...?
[They rush out of the hallway]
Gale: Is she gonna be okay?
Sheriff Riley: Yeah. She's a strong kid.
Gale: She's gonna have to be.
Sheriff Riley: She has the few okay? She thinks you guys should write the book together with your matching moves.
Gale: [surprised] Why, she was stabbed in the shoulder? [Dewey nods.] How does she know... I was too...?
[They rush out of the hallway]
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[Jill gets up and grabs a glass shard.]
Sheriff Riley: She was standing right behind me!
Sidney: They always are.
[Jill stumbles further to Sidney and tries to to kill her, but Sidney grabs the gun and shoots Jill in the chest. Jill collapses on the floor, dead. Everyone sighs]
Gale: Oh, my God...
[Judy gets up]
Deputy Hicks: Nice one.
Gale: [shocked] Hicks, you're alive?!
[Judy unbuttons her uniform, revealing she's wearing a bullet-proof vest.]
Deputy Hicks: "Wear the vest, save your chest".
[Judy collapses. Dewey responds on his radio.]
Sheriff Riley: I got two officers down, several injuries, and a new suspect. [faints]
Gale: We need a doctor! Goddamn it! [rushes out to the hallway]
Sidney: [to her cousin's dead body] I don’t know about you, but I feel a whole better.
Sheriff Riley: She was standing right behind me!
Sidney: They always are.
[Jill stumbles further to Sidney and tries to to kill her, but Sidney grabs the gun and shoots Jill in the chest. Jill collapses on the floor, dead. Everyone sighs]
Gale: Oh, my God...
[Judy gets up]
Deputy Hicks: Nice one.
Gale: [shocked] Hicks, you're alive?!
[Judy unbuttons her uniform, revealing she's wearing a bullet-proof vest.]
Deputy Hicks: "Wear the vest, save your chest".
[Judy collapses. Dewey responds on his radio.]
Sheriff Riley: I got two officers down, several injuries, and a new suspect. [faints]
Gale: We need a doctor! Goddamn it! [rushes out to the hallway]
Sidney: [to her cousin's dead body] I don’t know about you, but I feel a whole better.