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[Jill's phone rings.; Kirby picks up the phone]
Kirby: It's Trevor. I'll handle this.
Jill: [on the phone to Olivia.] Trevor's calling.
[Kirby answers it.]
Kirby: What do you want?
Ghostface: I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby: Uh... no. It's Kirby. Sorry, Trevor, Jill is screening her calls from all past relationships.
Olivia: What's going on over there?
Jill: [to Olivia.] Olivia, hang on a second. [turns to Kirby.] What is he saying?
Ghostface: I'm not Trevor.
Kirby: What? I can barely hear you, Trevor.
Ghostface: This isn't Trevor.
Kirby: Oh. Oh, alright, then why do you have his phone? Whoever this is. [turns to Jill.] He's trying to do Ghostface. [laughs]
Jill: [to Olivia] He's being weird.
Ghostface: I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby: Okay, well, she doesn't want to talk to you. Come on, Mr. Ghostface, whisper to me.. Or are you just supposed to ask me a question?
Ghostface: Alright. How's the movie?
Kirby: What movie?
Ghostface: Shaun of the Dead?
[Kirby looks at the TV - Shaun of the Dead is on]
Kirby: [alarmed] How did you know that?
Ghostface: Because I'm standing in the closet.
Kirby: Stop, you're not.
Jill: What is going on?
Kirby: Trevor's being weird. I mean, if it is him, I don't know.
Jill: What?
Ghostface: This is not ****ing Trevor!
Kirby: Well, then who the **** are you?
Ghostface: Open the closet door.
[Kirby looks at the closet.]:
Kirby: You do know there are cops all over the house?
Ghostface: I think I have just enough time to slice someone open!
Jill: I'll talk to him.
Kirby: Shh...
Olivia: What's going on over there, you guys?
[Jill puts her phone on her ear.]
Jill: S-Sorry I? I don't know? [turns to Kirby.] Kirby-
Kirby: Shh...
Jill: Kirby.
Ghostface: Come on, do it.
Kirby: There's no way you're in there. [stumbles to the closet.]
Ghostface: See for yourself.
[Kirby stumbles further to the closet.]
Jill: Kirby? Kirby, come on, talk to me. This isn't funny. Kirby!
[Kirby opens the closet and investigate, but no one is in there]
Kirby: [relieved] Liar. I'm over this!
Ghostface: I never said I was in your closet.
Jill: What?
[The killer breaks through Olivia's closet and begins attacking her]
Kirby: It's Trevor. I'll handle this.
Jill: [on the phone to Olivia.] Trevor's calling.
[Kirby answers it.]
Kirby: What do you want?
Ghostface: I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby: Uh... no. It's Kirby. Sorry, Trevor, Jill is screening her calls from all past relationships.
Olivia: What's going on over there?
Jill: [to Olivia.] Olivia, hang on a second. [turns to Kirby.] What is he saying?
Ghostface: I'm not Trevor.
Kirby: What? I can barely hear you, Trevor.
Ghostface: This isn't Trevor.
Kirby: Oh. Oh, alright, then why do you have his phone? Whoever this is. [turns to Jill.] He's trying to do Ghostface. [laughs]
Jill: [to Olivia] He's being weird.
Ghostface: I want to talk to Jill.
Kirby: Okay, well, she doesn't want to talk to you. Come on, Mr. Ghostface, whisper to me.. Or are you just supposed to ask me a question?
Ghostface: Alright. How's the movie?
Kirby: What movie?
Ghostface: Shaun of the Dead?
[Kirby looks at the TV - Shaun of the Dead is on]
Kirby: [alarmed] How did you know that?
Ghostface: Because I'm standing in the closet.
Kirby: Stop, you're not.
Jill: What is going on?
Kirby: Trevor's being weird. I mean, if it is him, I don't know.
Jill: What?
Ghostface: This is not ****ing Trevor!
Kirby: Well, then who the **** are you?
Ghostface: Open the closet door.
[Kirby looks at the closet.]:
Kirby: You do know there are cops all over the house?
Ghostface: I think I have just enough time to slice someone open!
Jill: I'll talk to him.
Kirby: Shh...
Olivia: What's going on over there, you guys?
[Jill puts her phone on her ear.]
Jill: S-Sorry I? I don't know? [turns to Kirby.] Kirby-
Kirby: Shh...
Jill: Kirby.
Ghostface: Come on, do it.
Kirby: There's no way you're in there. [stumbles to the closet.]
Ghostface: See for yourself.
[Kirby stumbles further to the closet.]
Jill: Kirby? Kirby, come on, talk to me. This isn't funny. Kirby!
[Kirby opens the closet and investigate, but no one is in there]
Kirby: [relieved] Liar. I'm over this!
Ghostface: I never said I was in your closet.
Jill: What?
[The killer breaks through Olivia's closet and begins attacking her]
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[Kirby goes outside and unties Charlie]
Kirb: Don't worry, Charlie. I ****ing won. I won. He tried to beat me, but I ****ing won!
Charlie: [holding knife] Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her in the stomach.] Four years of class together, and you notice me now? You stupid bitch! It's too late! [stabs Kirby again.] Shhh, I know. It doesn't happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
Kirby: Ch-Ch-Charlie...!
[Charlie gets irritated and drops Kirby and he runs away]
Kirb: Don't worry, Charlie. I ****ing won. I won. He tried to beat me, but I ****ing won!
Charlie: [holding knife] Kirby? This is is making a move! [stabs her in the stomach.] Four years of class together, and you notice me now? You stupid bitch! It's too late! [stabs Kirby again.] Shhh, I know. It doesn't happen as fast as it does in the movies, I know.
Kirby: Ch-Ch-Charlie...!
[Charlie gets irritated and drops Kirby and he runs away]
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[Kirby's phone rings.]
Kirby: [checks on her phone.] It's Charlie's phone. [unlocks her phone.]
Ghostface: Tell Sidney it's the rule tonight! Tell Sidney it's all because of her! Or maybe she was into his place. I promise to be quick!
Kirby: [turns to Sidney] It's him.
Sidney: Okay, Kirby, I'm gonna get Jill. Wish me in the same place. Just keep him on the phone. I-I'll be right back okay?
[Sidney leaves]
Kirby: Let him go, please.
Ghostface: I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab. Instead, you get to live it.
Kirby: No. No, no, no, no. He's the expert. It's not me.
Ghostface: Warm up question: Jason's weapon?
Kirby: Uh, it's a machete.
Ghostface: There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby: Uh, butcher knife.
Ghostface: Leatherface?
Kirby: [crying] Chainsaw! Please!
Ghostface: Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby: Razor-hands.
Ghostface: Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left, or Psycho?
Kirby: Psycho.
Ghostface: None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer's POV!
Kirby: Wait! No, no, no! Please, just ask me one more question! Just one more!
Ghostface: All right, Kirby, then it's time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill...---
Kirby: [panicked] Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have E-e-eyes, Amityville Horror, Uh-uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha! It's one of those, right? Right?! [The killer hangs up the call. Everything is silent] [relieved] I got it right. I was ****ing right!
Kirby: [checks on her phone.] It's Charlie's phone. [unlocks her phone.]
Ghostface: Tell Sidney it's the rule tonight! Tell Sidney it's all because of her! Or maybe she was into his place. I promise to be quick!
Kirby: [turns to Sidney] It's him.
Sidney: Okay, Kirby, I'm gonna get Jill. Wish me in the same place. Just keep him on the phone. I-I'll be right back okay?
[Sidney leaves]
Kirby: Let him go, please.
Ghostface: I hear you like horror movies, Kirby. But do you like them as much as him? Forget watching Stab. Instead, you get to live it.
Kirby: No. No, no, no, no. He's the expert. It's not me.
Ghostface: Warm up question: Jason's weapon?
Kirby: Uh, it's a machete.
Ghostface: There. You see? You do know the genre. Michael Myers?
Kirby: Uh, butcher knife.
Ghostface: Leatherface?
Kirby: [crying] Chainsaw! Please!
Ghostface: Just ask Sidney if you need some help. Freddy Krueger?
Kirby: Razor-hands.
Ghostface: Name the movie that started the slasher craze: Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left, or Psycho?
Kirby: Psycho.
Ghostface: None of the above! Peeping Tom, 1960, directed by Michael Powell. First movie to ever put the audience in the killer's POV!
Kirby: Wait! No, no, no! Please, just ask me one more question! Just one more!
Ghostface: All right, Kirby, then it's time for your last chance. Name the remake of the groundbreaking horror movie in which the vill...---
Kirby: [panicked] Halloween, uh, Texas Chainsaw, Dawn of the Dead, The Hills Have E-e-eyes, Amityville Horror, Uh-uh, Last House on the Left, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street, My Bloody Valentine, When A Stranger Calls, Prom Night, Black Christmas, House of Wax, The Fog, Piranha! It's one of those, right? Right?! [The killer hangs up the call. Everything is silent] [relieved] I got it right. I was ****ing right!
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[Marnie and Jenny are watching "Stab 7".]
Jenny: Oh, my God, I love it. I've seen it five times and still gets me every time.
Marnie: You're kidding. I don't get it.
[Jenny turns off the TV.]
Jenny: Okay, it's like "The Twilight Zone".
Marnie: Twilight Zone.
Jenny: A movie within a movie.
Marnie: I get that, but it's illogical. It begs the question: That if the beginning of "Stab 7", is "Stab 6". Then if the beginning of "Stab 6", is "Stab 5". And if so, What is "Stab 4" about?
Jenny: Your over-thinking it.
Marnie: Am I, or did whoever make it just underthink it?. That's the reason I don't watch these movies.
Jenny: I can't believe you haven't seen them. We live in Woodsboro.
Marnie: That has nothing to do with Woodsboro. I-I thought you said "Stab" was based on true stories.
Jenny: The first three, the original trilogy is based off of Sidney Prescott, but then she threatened to sue them if they used her stories. So they just started making stuff up. Stab 5 has time travel, which is by far the worst.
Marnie: Don't we hear enough of this story every year?
Jenny: At least Woodsboro's known for something. [hears a noise from upstairs.] Did you hear that?
Marnie: Uh... No, I didn't hear anything...
Jenny: I did.
[Jenny stands up and goes to investigate outside; Marnie realizes what she's trying to do]
Marnie: Jenny, don't try to scare me.
Jenny: I'm not trying to scare you.
Marnie: You do it all the time.
[Marnie begins following her.]
Jenny: No, I don't!
[Marnie stops.]
Marnie: Where are you going?!
Jenny: I told you, I heard something!
[Jenny goes upstairs.]
Marnie: I know you're trying to scare me.
Jenny: I'm not!
[Jenny starts looking everywhere in the hallway.]
Marnie: What is it?
[Jenny turns on the lights in her room.]
Jenny: I must have left a window in my room open.
Jenny: Oh, my God, I love it. I've seen it five times and still gets me every time.
Marnie: You're kidding. I don't get it.
[Jenny turns off the TV.]
Jenny: Okay, it's like "The Twilight Zone".
Marnie: Twilight Zone.
Jenny: A movie within a movie.
Marnie: I get that, but it's illogical. It begs the question: That if the beginning of "Stab 7", is "Stab 6". Then if the beginning of "Stab 6", is "Stab 5". And if so, What is "Stab 4" about?
Jenny: Your over-thinking it.
Marnie: Am I, or did whoever make it just underthink it?. That's the reason I don't watch these movies.
Jenny: I can't believe you haven't seen them. We live in Woodsboro.
Marnie: That has nothing to do with Woodsboro. I-I thought you said "Stab" was based on true stories.
Jenny: The first three, the original trilogy is based off of Sidney Prescott, but then she threatened to sue them if they used her stories. So they just started making stuff up. Stab 5 has time travel, which is by far the worst.
Marnie: Don't we hear enough of this story every year?
Jenny: At least Woodsboro's known for something. [hears a noise from upstairs.] Did you hear that?
Marnie: Uh... No, I didn't hear anything...
Jenny: I did.
[Jenny stands up and goes to investigate outside; Marnie realizes what she's trying to do]
Marnie: Jenny, don't try to scare me.
Jenny: I'm not trying to scare you.
Marnie: You do it all the time.
[Marnie begins following her.]
Jenny: No, I don't!
[Marnie stops.]
Marnie: Where are you going?!
Jenny: I told you, I heard something!
[Jenny goes upstairs.]
Marnie: I know you're trying to scare me.
Jenny: I'm not!
[Jenny starts looking everywhere in the hallway.]
Marnie: What is it?
[Jenny turns on the lights in her room.]
Jenny: I must have left a window in my room open.
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[Sidney gets out Jill's room and sees Judy standing in the dark.]
Deputy Hicks: Sorry about that. Just... making around before taking off.
Sidney: Great, thanks.
[Judy begins to go downstairs but stops.]
Deputy Hicks: You don't remember me, do ya?
Sidney: Sorry?
Deputy Hicks:[walks towards Sidney] We went high school together. Judy Hicks. We had Homeroom then... Drama clip, too. We were in Peter Pan together. I played the lost boy, You were... Tiger-Lily.
Sidney: I'm sorry, it was a long time ago-
Deputy Hicks: It's okay. I mean, you had... a lot of stuff... going on back then.
Sidney: Well, it's nice to see you again, Judy.
Deputy Hicks: [smiles] You, too.
[Judy goes downstairs.]
Deputy Hicks: Sorry about that. Just... making around before taking off.
Sidney: Great, thanks.
[Judy begins to go downstairs but stops.]
Deputy Hicks: You don't remember me, do ya?
Sidney: Sorry?
Deputy Hicks:[walks towards Sidney] We went high school together. Judy Hicks. We had Homeroom then... Drama clip, too. We were in Peter Pan together. I played the lost boy, You were... Tiger-Lily.
Sidney: I'm sorry, it was a long time ago-
Deputy Hicks: It's okay. I mean, you had... a lot of stuff... going on back then.
Sidney: Well, it's nice to see you again, Judy.
Deputy Hicks: [smiles] You, too.
[Judy goes downstairs.]
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[Sidney gets out of the room. Rebecca goes to Sidney.]
Rebecca: So Sidney, [checks on Sidney] Ooh, ow. Anyway, long story short: Random wants to lock you into three more books now. [shows her the contract.] See the blank line in your contract, you can name your price. And as soon as your clear in this investigation, We're on the next plane in New York: The book today, the view, Nancy Grace and MTV-
Sidney: Excuse me, can... Can I ask you a question?
Rebecca: Hmm?
Sidney: Did you read my book?
Rebecca: I thought I'd wait for the movie.
Sidney: Book tour's over. [begins to leave]
Rebecca: Sidney... [grabs her] Accept your situation, you're a victim for life. So embrace it, use it. I know you care about your readers, all those little down-trouble ****s, that just need a light at the end of the tunnel so that they don't jump off a bridge. And a lucky break like this, I'm talkin' a hundred percent increase in sales in minimum. That's maybe a million more people get your message and you get a ton more checks, and then...
Sidney: [sighs] I won't be needing you anymore.
Rebecca: Sidney-
Sidney: You're fired.
Rebecca: [stops] Fired?
Sidney: [while leaving] Fired!
Rebecca: Fine! [walks away]
Rebecca: So Sidney, [checks on Sidney] Ooh, ow. Anyway, long story short: Random wants to lock you into three more books now. [shows her the contract.] See the blank line in your contract, you can name your price. And as soon as your clear in this investigation, We're on the next plane in New York: The book today, the view, Nancy Grace and MTV-
Sidney: Excuse me, can... Can I ask you a question?
Rebecca: Hmm?
Sidney: Did you read my book?
Rebecca: I thought I'd wait for the movie.
Sidney: Book tour's over. [begins to leave]
Rebecca: Sidney... [grabs her] Accept your situation, you're a victim for life. So embrace it, use it. I know you care about your readers, all those little down-trouble ****s, that just need a light at the end of the tunnel so that they don't jump off a bridge. And a lucky break like this, I'm talkin' a hundred percent increase in sales in minimum. That's maybe a million more people get your message and you get a ton more checks, and then...
Sidney: [sighs] I won't be needing you anymore.
Rebecca: Sidney-
Sidney: You're fired.
Rebecca: [stops] Fired?
Sidney: [while leaving] Fired!
Rebecca: Fine! [walks away]
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[Sidney picks up the phone]
Sidney: Roberts residence!
Ghostface: You're a survivor, aren't you, Sidney? Your one and only skill: You survive. I've one question for you. What good did it to be a survivor in this little drama, if everyone close to you is dead?
Sidney: ...Who are you?
Ghostface: Turn on the TV to channel 6.
Sidney: Who the **** are you?
Ghostface: Turn it on. Watch the teaser.
[Sidney turns on the TV]
Newcaster: ...But it nearly turned deathly tonight, with the latest victim of this attack being the wife of the Woodsboro Sheriff: Gale Riley, AKA Gale Weathers, who is in serious condition tonight after being stabbed. Her assailant then disappeared in sea of identic--
[Sidney turns off the TV]
Ghostface: [giggling] Glad you came home, Sidney. Has it been worth it yet?
Sidney: Why are you doing this?
Ghostface: Ah, friends count, but it's the family ties that cut deep. Am I right?
Sidney: What do you mean?
Ghostface: The ones you care about most. And what's closer than family? The bond of blood.
Sidney: [desperately] Don't!
Ghostface: You can't save them. All you can do is watch.
Sidney: Roberts residence!
Ghostface: You're a survivor, aren't you, Sidney? Your one and only skill: You survive. I've one question for you. What good did it to be a survivor in this little drama, if everyone close to you is dead?
Sidney: ...Who are you?
Ghostface: Turn on the TV to channel 6.
Sidney: Who the **** are you?
Ghostface: Turn it on. Watch the teaser.
[Sidney turns on the TV]
Newcaster: ...But it nearly turned deathly tonight, with the latest victim of this attack being the wife of the Woodsboro Sheriff: Gale Riley, AKA Gale Weathers, who is in serious condition tonight after being stabbed. Her assailant then disappeared in sea of identic--
[Sidney turns off the TV]
Ghostface: [giggling] Glad you came home, Sidney. Has it been worth it yet?
Sidney: Why are you doing this?
Ghostface: Ah, friends count, but it's the family ties that cut deep. Am I right?
Sidney: What do you mean?
Ghostface: The ones you care about most. And what's closer than family? The bond of blood.
Sidney: [desperately] Don't!
Ghostface: You can't save them. All you can do is watch.
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[The phone rings.]
Jenny: Could you get that? Marnie?
Marnie: Yeah... [goes to the kitchen and answers the phone] Hello?
Ghostface App: Hello, Who's this?
Marnie: Marnie, who's this?
Ghostface App: This is the last person you're ever gonna see alive.
Marnie: [disturbed] What?
Jenny: [laughing] I'm sorry, I had to.
Marnie: You bitch! So not funny!
[Jenny closes the window.]
Jenny: Somebody falls for it every year.
Marnie: I don't see why you get off under the---
[Marnie is killed.; The phone hangs up]
Jenny: Marnie? [leaves the hallway] Marnie? [checks downstairs.] Marnie? [goes downstairs and finds the phone on the floor] Good one, Marnie! Lights out, phone on the floor. You know,... [picks up the phone and tries to look around the house.] You really should direct horror films. Wherever you are. Let me guess, you want me to walk by an open door frame so you can pop out, huh? [turns around but no one is there. The phone rings] Okay, timing. Timing is perfect! But you don't have an app on your phone, so you can't talk like Ghostface, [puts the phone in her ear] can you?
Ghostface: Yes, I can.
Jenny: [shocked] Who is this?
Ghostface: Not an app.
Jenny: Is this Trevor?
Ghostface: Do I sound like a Trevor to you? Think of me as your director. You're in my movie, you got a fun part, so don't blow it.
Jenny: What movie?
Ghostface: Same one Marnie's in, only her part got cut way back. But you? You're the dumb blonde with the big tits. We'll have some fun with you before you die.
Jenny: I have a 4.0 GPA and 135 IQ, asshole! What did you do with Marnie?
Ghostface: She's on the cutting room floor!
Jenny: That's not funny!
Ghostface: This isn't a comedy, it's a horror film. People live and people die, and you'd better start running!
[Marnie's lifeless body is thrown through the window]
Jenny: [horrified] Marnie?
[The killer appears and begins chasing Jenny around the house]
Jenny: Could you get that? Marnie?
Marnie: Yeah... [goes to the kitchen and answers the phone] Hello?
Ghostface App: Hello, Who's this?
Marnie: Marnie, who's this?
Ghostface App: This is the last person you're ever gonna see alive.
Marnie: [disturbed] What?
Jenny: [laughing] I'm sorry, I had to.
Marnie: You bitch! So not funny!
[Jenny closes the window.]
Jenny: Somebody falls for it every year.
Marnie: I don't see why you get off under the---
[Marnie is killed.; The phone hangs up]
Jenny: Marnie? [leaves the hallway] Marnie? [checks downstairs.] Marnie? [goes downstairs and finds the phone on the floor] Good one, Marnie! Lights out, phone on the floor. You know,... [picks up the phone and tries to look around the house.] You really should direct horror films. Wherever you are. Let me guess, you want me to walk by an open door frame so you can pop out, huh? [turns around but no one is there. The phone rings] Okay, timing. Timing is perfect! But you don't have an app on your phone, so you can't talk like Ghostface, [puts the phone in her ear] can you?
Ghostface: Yes, I can.
Jenny: [shocked] Who is this?
Ghostface: Not an app.
Jenny: Is this Trevor?
Ghostface: Do I sound like a Trevor to you? Think of me as your director. You're in my movie, you got a fun part, so don't blow it.
Jenny: What movie?
Ghostface: Same one Marnie's in, only her part got cut way back. But you? You're the dumb blonde with the big tits. We'll have some fun with you before you die.
Jenny: I have a 4.0 GPA and 135 IQ, asshole! What did you do with Marnie?
Ghostface: She's on the cutting room floor!
Jenny: That's not funny!
Ghostface: This isn't a comedy, it's a horror film. People live and people die, and you'd better start running!
[Marnie's lifeless body is thrown through the window]
Jenny: [horrified] Marnie?
[The killer appears and begins chasing Jenny around the house]
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[While Sidney is sleeping, Jill enters her room.; Sidney wakes up.]
Jill: You just won't die, will you? Who are you? "Michael ****ing Myers"? [Sidney tries to attempts to use the call button, but Jill sees this and grabs it.] I don't think so. [throws it away and begins chokes her] Just ****ing die, already!
Jill: You just won't die, will you? Who are you? "Michael ****ing Myers"? [Sidney tries to attempts to use the call button, but Jill sees this and grabs it.] I don't think so. [throws it away and begins chokes her] Just ****ing die, already!
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You forgot the first rule of remakes Jill: "Don't **** with the original".