Stuart Mackenzie quotes
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Heid! Pants! Now!
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Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.
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Look at the size of that boy's head. It's like an orange on a toothpick.
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No kidding. His head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts.
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Oooh, that was offsides, wasn't it? Tonight he'll cry himself to sleep... on his huge pilla!
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We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. 'S all right, he's just pissed.
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Let's get pissed!
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Heid, turn off the Bay City Rollers! The game's about to come on!
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Heid! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can, hauling that gargantuan cranium about!
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May, shut it!
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[singing "Do You Think I'm Sexy" with bagpipes] If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, c'mon baby let me know! Haggis solo!