Swingers quotes

82 total quotes

Answering Machine
Mike Peters
Rob
Sue
Trent Walker

View Quote Sue: What? Come on guys I couldn't back down, that guy called me a bitch. We kept our "rep" bro.
Charles: Man, **** "rep" I got a call back tomorrow!

View Quote [Mike, Trent, and Sue are hanging out and Trent and Sue are playing video hockey]
Sue: This is bullshit, such bullshit!
Mike: The Kings suck in this game you should play another team.
Sue: I took the Kings to the cup.
Trent: Yea, against the computer with the offsides off.
Sue: They are a finesse team.
Trent: LA is a ****ing bitch team. OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!
[Trent bodychecks one of Sue's players]
Sue: BITCH!

View Quote Mike: You're gonna screw up our plan.
Trent: Baby, we're gonna get laid.
Mike: T-. Trent. Trent. I need to, ah-
[Trent hands him a condom through the door]
Mike: No, I...uh...need to use the phone.
Trent: Hold on. [Slams door]
Mike: 'm sure - they weren't in there that long.

View Quote Mike: Count'em up.
Rob: How many strokes? What'd you get?
Mike: Eight or a nine.
Rob: 'll give you an eight.
Mike: What'd you get?
Rob: I got an eight.
Mike: Dead heat after one hole. This is turning into quite a rivalry.

View Quote Nicole: You came in and asked me for an application, and I took you and introduced you to my manager.
Mike: Must have been a while ago, 'cause I- right now I have a booking agent.

View Quote Lorraine: Hi, Mike, I'm Lorraine.
Mike: Like the quiche.
Lorraine: Yeah, yeah, the quiche. That's a really original joke.
Mike: I like quiche. How's that?
Lorraine: Yeah? Well, I thought real men didn't like quiche.
Mike: Yeah, well, my reputation seems to have preceded me here.
Lorraine: You're not a real man?
Mike: Not lately, no.

View Quote Mike: You know what, 've got it under control.
Trent: He has it under control.
Sue: I guess we don't have to worry about him any more.
Trent: Our little baby's all grown up.