Undercover Brother quotes

View Quote "Atomic core", eh? Let's see what this so-called button does.

View Quote Sistah Girl: What the hell?
The Chief: What the hell?
Conspiracy Brother: What the f...

View Quote Smart Brother: [On General Warren Boutwell running for president] I wonder if he'll run as a Democrat or an Independent.
The Chief': Never know. Might be a Republican.
Conspiracy Brother: Please. What kind of self-respecting black man would run as a Republican? Name one thing the Republican party has done for black people. One!
Smart Brother: Well, they were the party of Lincoln. They stood against the tyranny of oppression by leading the call for the Civil War and forced passage of the Emancipation Proclamation, which freed the slaves.
Conspiracy Brother: All right, name two things lately.

View Quote The Chief': Is that that damn Undercover Brother?!
Conspiracy Brother: You in trouble.
The Chief': Where the hell have you been?!
The Chief': This is a job, not some kind of damn summer camp! And I'm tired of you disrespecting me! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire your sorry ass!
Undercover Brother: Because I Don't work for you?
The Chief': SHUT UP!

View Quote The Chief: If I wanted to hear something stupid, I'd have asked his skinny black ass!
Conspiracy Brother: HA! IN YOUR FACE! Ha-ha, skinny black... Hey!

View Quote The Chief: Son, you talk a lot of shit.
Lance: Yes, I do.
The Chief: But you down.

View Quote Undercover Brother: [as Anton Jackson] If I didn't have my lemon mango guava smoothie, I'd beat the bejabbers out of you and stick my foot up your patootie. Now if you'll excuse me, "Frasier" is on.
Sistah Girl: Bejabbers?
Conspiracy Brother: He said he would stick his foot up my so-called "patootie"!

View Quote Undercover Brother: [as Anton Jackson] Where I come from, we like to pronounce our "e"'s and "r"'s.
Conspiracy Brother: "E"'s and "r"'s, huh? I be thinking that somebody in this room is sellin' out!

View Quote Undercover Brother: Damn it woman, will you just back off?
Announcer:[over PA speaker] Attention, angry black man in khakis.

View Quote Undercover Brother: You know what they say, behind every great black man...
Conspiracy Brother:...Is the police.
Undercover Brother: No.
Smart Brother: A bunch of slow white athletes?
Undercover Brother: No.
White She-devil: A cute butt.
Undercover Brother: No.
Lance: Probable cause.
Undercover Brother: NO!...A strong black woman.
All: Oh.

View Quote White She-devil: Oh, Undercover Brother, you're too much man for me!
Undercover Brother: Baby, sometimes I'm too much man for my own damn self.

View Quote White She-devil: Once you've been with Undercover Brother, there is no other.
Conspiracy Brother: No, it's once you go black, you don't go back.

View Quote [There is an unexpected knock at Mr Feather's office door.]
Mr. Feather: Who's there?
Undercover Brother: Kung.
Mr Feather: Kung Who?
Undercover Brother: Kung FU!!

View Quote A girl needs friends, Anton. Would you like to be my friend?

View Quote Always trying to shut the white man down.